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Phil Taylor 0 – 1 Sun Newspaper.

Phil Taylor,High Court,Sun,Newsmediaimages.com

Our Morning Model has had to step aside. She’s stepped aside because the Sun have run a heart breaking story about dart thrower Phil Taylor…. and we needed her space to tell y’all about it.

Lets start from the beginning. When Life and Style magazine said that Tom Cruise had abandoned his daughter Suri the demented little dwarf tried to sue their asses for $50m. Ultimately Tom’s lawyers failed to achieve their objectives so Tom had to pay them their legal fees and quietly abandon his case.

Yes, Tom Cruise knows only too well that trying to keep secrets locked in a closet of shame can remove an awful lot of change from a fellows wallet.

Dart thrower Phil Taylor is reportedly worth an estimated £10million. He really should have paid more attention to Tom Cruise and his failed law suit because after a High Court ruling earlier today he’s very likely to be worth a lot less than he was.

Here’s why. Despite his best legal efforts in the High Court of Justice today Phil Taylor failed to stop the Sun newspaper from being allowed to publish an interview with two of his daughters.

In court the 16-time world darts champion claimed that his two daughters, Kelly and Natalie were invading his precious privacy by telling the terrible tabloid how he had cut them off financially following his divorce from their mother.

Taylor, 54, told High Court judge Mrs Justice Elizabeth Laing that he had “never put any aspect of his personal life into the public domain” and didn’t intend to now. He also claimed that publishing his daughters interviews would constitute a breach of the Data Protection Act.

I mean really, he did.

Well, when a member of the Sun’s legal team heard that he stood up and muttered something about the two autobiographies Taylor has had published. He also brought the courts attention to the fact that Taylor had also given several interviews about his marital break-up four years ago.

When High Court judge Mrs Justice Elizabeth Laing heard this it came as no surprise to anyone that she tossed Taylor’s claims into the nearest bin and with complete prejudice to his unwinnable case she awarded The Sun newspaper a lorry load of legal costs.

You see? Legal costs. A lorry load. Do the math. £10m – Legal Costs = £0m.

Poor old Taylor. Now everyone will hear how his daughter Kelly lives in a hostel filled with drug addicts and prostitutes. They’ll hear how terribly frightened she is, how she self-harms and suffers from depression. How she says that her father knows where she is but doesn’t seem to care. How both his daughters have tried and tried again to contact him but his PA refuses to give them his number.

A spokesman for Phil Taylor told the Sun that he was indeed aware of his daughters’ position but refused to say why he has done nothing to support them.

Our Morning Model is unconsolable by what she’s read here and apologises for not stripping off and showing you her lady patch. She hopes you’ll understand.

Karen Danczuk – The Bumage Is Borne.

Karen Danczuk,max clifford,newsmediaimages.com

The other day we posted an article about Karen Danczuk and her obsession for tweeting selfies. We spoke of how Karen loves bending over and photographing her pulsating bumage and heaving cleavage.

We told of how Karen’s husband, Labour MP Simon Danczuk had announced the end of his marriage to the self proclaimed Queen of Seflies.

For legal reasons we didn’t speculate on why Mr Danczuk had announced the end of his marriage. No sir, we did not. Our words were chosen without malice aforethought, their intention merely to amuse.

However, after publishing the article our friends over at @offcentrenews told us something that we should have known about but we just didn’t.

Fortunately Popbitch have just sent us their weekly newsletter, an email in which they confirmed exactly what offcentrenews had told us.

Essentially this is what it’s all about;

As you know Karen’s soon to be ex-husband Simon has been building a political reputation around his ability to seek and destroy pedophiles where ever he finds them. At the same time his soon to be ex-wife has been building her career by splashing her tits and ass across Twitter.

Well you can’t build a career on tits and ass alone. You gotta sexualise the media – and to do that a girl needs representation.

Karen Danczuk is represented by Borne Media. Borne Media are a public relations company set up by Max Clifford’s daughter Louise and several former execs from the now defunct Max Clifford Associates.

In their newsletter Popbitch suggested that, for Karen Danczuk at least Borne Media is “perhaps the perfect home for someone looking to distance themselves from someone best known for his pursuit of famous sex offenders.

So there you have it. Mrs Karen Danczuk is represented by a sex offenders daughter. I don’t know how Mr Danczuk felt about that, he hasn’t said.

And finally, the bipolar woman who kidnapped me from my home and raised me as her own says that makeup is the only thing keeping Karen Danczuk’s bulging cleavage from looking like a Mr Whippy ice cream that got left out in the sun.

She has a point.

Katie Hopkins: Onward Christian Soldiers.

Katie Hopkins,column,the sun,newsmediaimages.com

Chaps who whisk their families off to the Syrian riviera just want to be left alone. Left to relax, spiritually connect with Allah, go fishing, maybe bath in the river of pussy. These men of faith never expected to face the wrath of Katie Hopkins and her trendy hashtag.

Well yes, it appears that Katie Hopkins has more balls in her rustic underwear than Britain’s entire media establishment. The radical Muslims have warned Fleet Street’s editors to stand down with their bitching or face death but now Katie Hopkins has told them to go fuck themselves.

Seriously. On the very day that the Sun launch their “Manifesto Against Hate” the tabloid’s Katie Hopkins column prints this:

“A FAMILY of 12 from Luton is believed to have travelled to Syria.

Relatives are concerned the 12, aged between one and 75, may have left to start a new life with IS.

Well, here’s my reaction to that, my friends: Splendid!

Splendid if another swathe of Luton has pushed off to Jihadi Junction and left our shores.

As long as we are not planning to use taxpayers’ cash to fly them back, or waste police time looking for them, as far as I am concerned it’s a good news day.”

(Via: The Sun/Katie Hopkins Column)

What military and political threats can not achieve Katie Hopkins and the sheer weight of her social media clearly can. Obviously after reading the Katie Hopkins column today ISIS will now back down. They’ll agree to release their hostages in exchange for Katie shutting the fuck up.

It’s unclear if the government will agree to these terms but rest assured if something isn’t done soon, there’ll be retweets!

Russell Brand And A Minutes Silence.

Russell Brand,Video,newsmediaimages.com

Russell Brand has made a video in which he accuses David Cameron of manipulating Britain’s foreign policy in order to protect America, global corporations, arms dealers and oil companies.

After cancer and blog posts YouTube is probably one of the worst things in the world. That’s why we’re lucky to have a man like Russell to screw with the system. Love him or hate him, Russell Brand is rapidly becoming one of the county’s leading figures in the anti-establishment revolt.

On his YouTube channel (The Trews) last night Russell took all those dip-shit politicos to task. He said their behaviour and attitude toward middle eastern countries is ultimately what caused that ISIS gunman to massacre 38 of our citizens in Tunisia last week.

He accused David Cameron of orchestrating foreign policy in order to protect America, global corporations, arms dealers and oil companies. He said that if we want to attack the problem at its source then we have to stop bombing foreign countries. Stop selling arms to countries that are on our human rights abuse list. We must protect the ordinary people in this world.

In probably the most controversial part of any video clip you’ll watch this year Russell then stated that this Friday’s Minute of Silence to respect those killed in Tunisia is a “complete waste of time.”

Here’s a snippet:

“There is no point in having a minute’s silence on Friday. It’s a minute of bullshit.

If you respect those people then demand that your government stops selling arms to countries on its own human rights abusers list, demand that your government stops carrying out foreign wars on behalf of corporations.

It will have a lot more impact than a minute’s silence.”

Now that would actually sound quite logical, intriguing even – but it does rather sound like it’s been uttered by someone who has long since riddled his brains with heroin. For internet viewers it’s gone down like a lead lollipop.

Well you know what? I agree, I agree that what’s happening in Syria is as horrible as horrible can be and Assad and 50,000 other idiots deserve a bazooka in the face, but was it right that Russell Brand should tell us to disrespect our massacred civilians? No, no it is not.

This isn’t exactly Russell Brand’s finest hour is it.

Anyway. You be the judge…. here’s the video.


A Kardashian Cleavage Can Talk?

Kim Kardashian,Rolling Stone, Cover,Newsmediaimages.com

I think you can understand why some fans of Rolling Stone magazine are now threatening to cancel their subscriptions after the publication put Kim Kardashian’s cleavage on their front cover. I know I can.

I don’t actually subscribe to the magazine so I’ve relied on the online version to tell me what the hell Rolling Stone found so intriguing about a fat little reality star famous mainly for her overindulgence in penis. I mean, what else is she famous for? Her talent for doing nothing leaves much to be desired.

Anyway, it seems that Kim has talked to Rolling Stone about everything from her soppy sock selling brother to her relationship with Krafty Kanye. She’s even talked about her family’s doubts over the OJ Simpson verdict.

I imagine that Kim was so mentally fatigued by the interview process that eventually she couldn’t formulate a single intelligent sentence. This may explain why she didn’t mention her cavernous consumption of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream or her penchant for gluttonous amounts of gluten free pizza.

Ambition really is a double edged sword. I think we all know that with the right encouragement Kim could easily have become a waitress or a heart donor instead of a wobbling cleavage on high heels. This is why I don’t get Rolling Stone’s motivation for interviewing her. Not only are they losing subscribers they are also running a serious risk of angering the gods who first tapped Kim Kardashian with the slut stick.

Yes, upset those god’s and they’ll curse you from here to eternity. Curses range from the inability to utter dicksyllabic denials to spending your entire life with a large male body part buried in your backside.

For further details read Kim Kardashian’s rather dull interview in Rolling Stone.

Miley Cyrus Caught ‘Lesbianating’

miley Cyrus, Stella Maxwell,lesbians,newsmediaimages.com

Who else but the MailOnline could headline with the ground breaking news that Miley Cyrus is a bi-sexual rodent who is humping on the stunningly beautiful Victoria’s Secret model, Stella Maxwell.

Sometimes you get lucky but actually MoL it was the New York Daily News who first reported how Miley was ‘lesbianating’ with Stella.

“They hold hands and hug and are very comfortable together. They’re definitely together.”

(Via: NYDailyNews.com)

However what is interesting about the MailonLine’s exposé are the accompanying pictures. How the NYDaily could tell us that Miley has an insatiable obsession for female genitalia without something as specific as these pictures is beyond me. Perhaps the NYDaily’s order of the day is to ‘always confirm the premise of a story while wearing a pink blindfold.

Regardless, the MailOnline’s picture set definitely prove that Miley Cyrus’ ‘twataphyliac tendencies’ are the hottest news story of the day. Because these pictures are so damned exclusive NMi has no publishing rights for them. So to view them the best we can do is to send you here and here.

Warning, do be careful with This Picture as it’s slightly NSFW because Stella Maxwell appears to have her fingers in Miley’s…

That said. For some time now Miley Cyrus has been daring people to call her a lesbian so that she can respond by saying that she doesn’t like people placing labels on her sexuality.

Some day when Miley Cyrus has gained some weight and grown another beard all this will pass. And when it does Miley will then talk about her ‘experimental phase’ with some guy in a dress who works for Paper magazine.

Damn, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. If you were penning a story about coming out with a Victoria Secrets model you couldn’t find a better tear jerker than this one.

But y’know what else makes me sad? I miss the days when women in show business just rooted for the Communists and chomping on dick was an optional extra. For the men at least.

Gone are the days….

UPDATE: Thanks to Frankiescar.