Instead of making fun of Helen Flanagan’s rubber face today let’s focus on the positive for once.
Lets say nothing about that cheese-cloth top which looks like it was dried over a Burger King deep fryer. Or those fake lashes she’s wearing which remind me of a baby sparrow’s plucked wings.
Nor should we mention her scouse brows that were probably sculpted by the same mortician who slathered Michelle Collin’s face in putty sealant last week.
We should stop our hate bombing and not throw any shade at Helen for looking like a tip top mess yesterday. Yes, lets say something nice.
Umm, err…… here’s two fresh looking beauties posing for the latest PETA ad (exotic skin) in London yesterday.
Oh I give up. Let me pass you over to YouTube who’ll take it from here. Click.
I don’t think I’ve ever posted such a ridiculous headline before. Ridiculous on every level. At the Cannes Film Festival the other day, all the paps from all the agencies identified this guy (above) as Gangnam Style’s Psy. Well who wouldn’t. It turns out that it wasn’t Psy at all, but someone pretending to be him.
The Mailonline are saying that the Psy imposter has been scamming dumb bitches everywhere because not only did impostor Psy pose for pictures on all the red carpets he could find he also attended the Chopard party and fooled Naomie Harris’s ass, (see below)
The news agencies first realised they’d been scammed when the real Psy appeared on Livewith Michael and Kelly in NYC.
The real Psy is saying that the scam was arranged by this joker, Scooter Braun but Scooter hasn’t admitted shit yet (he kinda has on his site) AND his Twitter just said he is in Cannes!
You know, if Scooter did do this thing then he should be charged with obstruction of bone-fide gossip AND for giving a false name to the paps. They also need to charge him with being dumb enough to impersonate the real Psy because I think that charge carries an automatic death sentence.
And is it just me or does Naomie Harris look like she’s impersonating Whitney Houston in that picture above?
Oh and look what I just found!! A French fool getting all foolish and fooled. Watch.
Yesterday, Victoria Beckham tweeted a picture of the adorable pug pup, Posh Barnaby. Well, here’s another picture from Victoria’s Twitter page. Yes, say hello to Posh Pussy, aka Earnie.
When the Spice Girls broke into five separate parts, my soul turned into a black lump of ash so lots of people sent me cute puppy cams to try and fill the dead hole in my life. Well, today’s the day I say goodbye to my dead hole, Posh Pussy has made my heart sing again.
For some of you, this may restore your faith in love after you thought it was all lost when the Spicies went away. Oh I know, Posh Pussy sounds like something that might crawl into your nightmares, but this one is actually kind of adorable.
That said, Posh Pussy is small enough to get into your bedroom undetected, climb onto your bed and steal the air from your mouth and nostrils at the same time. This is why I present to you, ‘Pussy in a ball’. Click.
And no, I would not be surprised if you told me that “pussy stuck in a ball” is the #1 reason why people go to A&E in the middle of the night.
So many damn questions. The mystery of George Michael’s head wham (sorry) on the M1 motorway deepens. As your asses already know George was involved in a car accident on the M1 motorway last Friday afternoon. By Monday we’d heard that George had actually fallen from the car while it was travelling at over 70mph.
I was going to ask who tries to open and shut a car door on a motorway, but then I realised that the answer is only a fool like George Michael. Obviously. But today we’re hearing how Autocar Magazine’s Colin Goodwin has told the Daily Mirror that it’s really hard to open a car door at 70mph, let alone accidentally ‘fall out’.
The Mirror are now asking what was George doing in that car in the first place? They have a theory. They think that George might have done this shit on purpose. They’re saying the police are investigating the possibility that George jumped. JUMPED!
Well, maybe nothing gives George the hots like a slap from a concrete hand and if that’s the case, then he needs to get more Kinky-Contacts into his life, he can find that shit on there without having to even look at a car.
Oh, George. Whenever he’s in a car bad things seem to happen. I think George and motor-cars are done professionally, they don’t go well together. George needs to get one of those children’s play cars, so he can sit on his driveway and pretend he’s on a motorway. He can even take a hit of the ‘Mary Jane’ and then fall out of his play car laughing like a tickled zebra, if that’s how he wants to have fun.
I was going to post a picture of Kim Kardashian looking like a parachute but who needs to look at that kind of uckery when you can look at THIS!
Victoria Beckham posted this picture of ‘Posh Barnaby‘ to Twitter last night. Isn’t he the most adorable little meth face you ever saw! I bet if you blew weed smoke into his face he’d frown and look just like Mark Wright.
This morning I was hungover as hell, but looking at PoshBarnaby has cleared that shit up straight away. AND Barnaby has given me lipstick this morning and I don’t quite know what to do with it.
Anyways, Victoria says that Barnaby is the latest member of her e-commerce team but that’s a pug going to waste. I really really believe that Barnaby could bring about world peace. My little spaniel dog, Murphy said that Barnaby’s picture should be printed on posters and then flown over to North Korea. He thinks Kim Jong-un would swoon in happiness and give up his nukes straight away.
When normal people go to see a film at the cinema, they leave their baby with a £10 an hour teenage babysitter or if they’re Kate Moss, they leave the kid in the playroom with a bottle of bolly. But when the duke and duchess of show business, Beyonce and Jay Z go out they [...]
The Roon’s are getting one baby closer to outnumbering us non-Roons and it’s only a question of time before they take over the world, enslave us all then force us to take their laundry to the launderette. In the early hours of this morning Coleen Roon popped out baby number two followed by Wayne Roon [...]
Yes, misery loves company. For Tulisa Contostavlos it’s what happens when your X Factor P45 party gets together with someone that says your love life has just passed away. More unhappiness. We have two choices here: 1. Grab a soggy weetabix then slide down the kitchen wall before melting into a heartbroken pool of tears on the [...]
Last Friday prayer circles were formed in dozens of men’s toilets when the news leaked out that George Michael had been hospitalised after a car accident on the M1. Today there’s more news on that story and once again it comes from The Sun. Yes, The Sun have found an eye witness to what happened on that [...]
Some people are looking at that picture and saying it’s the opposite of sexy. I get that. Katie is currently playing a manic depressive in love in a Spike Lee-produced movie called Mania Days and it’s a damn miracle they get any filming done at all, because if the boys see her bare lady knee, they’ll hump a bastard child into [...]
And so the mutiny begins. For some of you, the news that Justin Bieber got booed at the Billboard Awards last night will keep you smiling for the rest of the day. For the rest of you, here’s a lesson in booing. Booing is a way of passing wind over somebody without leaving a smell, which makes [...]
Oh dearie dearie dear. Madonna can feel that face? She can feel it! Can’t you see? She can feel it? No. No she can’t. Sometimes the headline and the picture tell the audience everything they need to know about a story. Actually, I have no idea what Madge’s face is made of nowadays, but I wouldn’t put [...]
David Beckham isn’t crying because he just got arrested for acting the fool outside a gay bordello in Soho nor did he care about effin’ up his make-up by bursting into tears at the end of the final match of his illustrious career. Yes, David played his last professional game of football last night at the [...]
Instead of making fun of Helen Flanagan’s rubber face today let’s focus on the positive for once.
