Today, while the world’s diamonds slowly lose their sparkle millions of ducks have begun quacking and it’s all because the Sun Newspaper have reported that Mel B has left her husband Stephen Belafonte.
Yes indeed, it’s a sad day for everyone when love between a duck basher and a vinegar-scented Barbie goes numb and dies.
However, while strolling through the Sun’s report today it was easy to see how their story is less of a factual account and more of a law-suit waiting to happen.
Essentially what the The Sun are saying is that Mel has walked out on Stephen. In an article published today, the Sun have quoted a ‘source’ as saying that her pals are now urging her to formally separate from the marriage.
They’ve stated that the pair had “a number” of massive rows last week and that their seven-year marriage is now “on life support.” They’ve also revealed that film producer Stephen didn’t visit his wife when she was admitted to hospital last Thursday and that the couple have not spoken to each other since. They’ve also implied that Stephen hit Melanie and yet he’s already denied that via his Twitter account.
How could the Sun possibly know all of this? Did Melanie tell them? Did Stephen? Are they mind readers or is their article just a melange of make up, lip gloss, evilness and wine infused guess work?
It’s true that the Sun have interlaced their article with a few undisputed facts the like of which Stephen’s lawyers will find difficult to sue their asses over. For example his lawyers will find it difficult to sue [the Sun] for stating that in 2007 Stephen admitted battering a duck to death with a brick outside his house in New Jersey. Nor will they find grounds to sue over the Sun’s statement that Stephen pleaded guilty in 2003 to a count of battery against his former partner, Nicole Contreras.
Both the statements made in the last paragraph are indisputable, matters of public record and therefore no publisher could be sued for publishing them. Unfortunately for the Sun the rest of their article is largely unprovable, made up and the kind of speculative headlining for which Christopher Jefferies managed to successfully sue eight newspapers for back in 2010. You’ll remember how Fleet Street all thought they ‘had him’ for the murder of Joanna Yates. But they didn’t, did they.
I’m no fan of Stephen Belafonte or for that matter men who batter their wives but the last time NMi filled it’s front page with speculation based on The Sun’s version of the truth we got our asses well and truly sued. Unlike Murdock’s sisterhood of evil NMi has no meaningful budget for the paying of defamation settlements to celebrities, preferring to pay our esteemed writer, Mike D.W a fair and reasonable salary instead… oh hahahahahahaha that’s a scurrilous lie right there.
Anyways, on a lighter note. In that picture above I had thought about photoshopping a stuffed duck into Mel B’s grimy paw, but then I realised I’ve already filled your quota of nightmares by making you look at her in her underwear.
I’m truly sorry about that.