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#SyriaCrisis – Artists Respond.


Art #syriaCrisis

#SyriaCrisis. The days of predators trolling the Internet for underaged victims seems quite tame now compared to storming though a poverty stricken village and gunning down entire families.

Yes, the adventure holiday that is jihad. The bitter teen migration.

Psychological experts say that by butchering people on camera these people will suffer long lasting mental traumas. Well good call experts. However you can’t possibly tell me that Europe has a plan to end the tragedy that is massing on our borders.

I’m not about to jump on Europe’s politicians for their poor response to this #SyriaCrisis. Mine response sucks. So does my plan for Syria.

So what about my fellow artists. What do they have to say.

Just so as you know, the word artist is another term for unemployed. And yet artists are super clever. They see things and then create engagement all around them. Artists see naked and then paint it on canvass. Artists can turn logic into ridiculous and pain into beauty. An artist can reshape the different and make it acceptable.

Art comes from art because art is our visual freedom of speech.

Here’s what the artists have said on social media about the #SyriaCrisis.

Art #syriaCrisis

Art #syriaCrisis Art #syriaCrisis Art #syriaCrisis Art #syriaCrisis Art #syriaCrisis

RIP: Galip And Aylan – Refugees.


Refugee-newsmediaimages

Last night I was on step one away from a cool glass of Pinot when I stopped and made myself a herbal tea instead. It was the right thing to do. Sky news had just reported that the bodies of two Kurdish brothers had washed up on a beach in Turkey. Their parents were fleeing the brutal war in Syria. The two children along with their Mother had just become victims of it.

Galip Kurdi was five years old, his little brother Aylan three. They were on an overcrowded dinghy which left the holiday resort of Bodrum Turkey headed for the Greek island of Kos. Despite the calm waters it capsized. All 17 refugees were flung into the sea. 13 of them have died.

The boys’ Dad, Abdullah was the only member of the family to make it back to shore.

Another dinghy in the flotilla, which was carrying a further 16 refugees, also capsized.

The Turkish authorities have reported that eight people drowned and another four are still missing. Only four managed to survive.

This morning most of our daily newspapers have front paged this tragic story. Their reports are more detailed and informative than mine.

However, we live in the age of the refugee, a generation of exile. Our newspapers have failed to bring us it’s reality, what being a refugee actually means. On a human level. The suffering. The lost people of a soulless world.

Heartbreaking photographs of the dead brothers have now emerged. They are below. Should we have published them? I don’t know, most of the newspapers chose not to because the pictures are truly distressing.

Tragedy begins where there is misunderstanding. Our silence and lack of assistance for these people is not understood by many. I think it was Joseph Stalin who said that the death of one is tragic. The death of millions is a statistic.

Is that how history will record these tragic events? Statistics?

I’d like to say that I genuinely care about these poor abandoned people. These terrified refugees. I genuinely want to see them find peace. Someday. Somewhere. I want them to find their joy. Once more.

Rest in Peace Galup Kurdi. Refugee.

Galip Kurdi-refugee

Rest in Peace Aylan Kurdi. Refugee. 

Aylan Kurdi-refugee

Wildlife Photographer Of The Year Awards.


WildLife Photographer awards

Cecil the Lion destroyed the theory that a big game hunter can shoot whatever he damn well likes. Walter Palmer was your typical big game hunter who liked to shoot the hell out of large sub-Saharan wildlife. So he shot Cecil the Lion.

When the World Wide Web found out it protested and protested and protested.

Poor old Palmer became an instant pariah, an outcast, persona non grata, an undesirable, a horrible none-person. The world and everyone in it simply hated him. At first Palmer tried to pull the hunter exemption crap as his defense. All that twaddle about hunters protecting wildlife, helping to cull the herd, hunting licence fees going to conservation efforts. Bla Bla Bla…

Those excuses may well have had some validity but nobody gave a shit because Palmer had Facebooked selfies of himself holding a dead lion’s head.

Some people believe that animals are sacrosanct because they can talk in Disney movies. My girlfriend earnestly believes that wild animals are simply nature’s cute and cuddly do-gooders. Y’know what? I’m going to tell her she’s absolutely right. and then try and have sex with her.

But seriously, lets talk about shooting animals…. not with guns with cameras.

Wildlife photographers do exactly that.

People are beginning to realise just how important it is that we see the world’s most beautiful animals in their natural habitat.

If you’re a wildlife photographer then you’re going to show the world who these animals really are, how they work and give us a 35mm glimpse into their mysterious behaviour.

Through a wildlife photographers eyes we get to see butterflies drinking turtle tears. Through a wildlife lens we see how luminous glow worms eat their slimy dinner. Through a wildlife camera we can see fleeing salmon pursued by hungry dolphin mouthes.

Wonderful creatures, mesmerising pictures. We get to see reality, frozen in a 60th of a second.

And in case you’re wondering this is exactly why we can’t wear dead animals.

This is also why the annual Wildlife Photographer of the Year awards are so crucial. The awards are a thank you to you, the photographers for bringing us these wonderful creatures in all their pictorial glory.

The winning photographs will all be on display at The Natural History Museum from the 16th October. Advance tickets are now on sale.

Thanks fellas.

Angelina Jolie. Rare Photographs For Sale.


Angelina Jolie,rare,photographs,sale

Angelina Jolie probably hasn’t eaten a sandwich since Girl Interrupted. If she lost another five pounds and her jaw jutted out anymore then we’d chalk that up to heroism in the face of the enemy.

Face of the enemy? Paparazzi photographers. They’re the enemy. Their photographs. Yes, they’re the enemy alright.

Celebrities have yet to figure out an effective way of expressing their frustration with the paparazzi and their photographs. There’s the middle finger, but that only serves to double the value of the photograph. Then there’s the face covered in a designer handbag, but that only exposes your unsightly fat and unseemly bulges.

Of course you can try kicking and spitting at the paparazzi, that might work but then they’ll sue and you’ll have to pay them lots of money.

There’s literally nothing you can do other than not becoming famous in the first place. That doesn’t seem like a viable option. Not really.

If I were still a ‘professional photographer’ then Angelina Jolie would scare me like no other woman on Earth, except for my Polish dentist, the girlfriend I accidentally cheated on (who set fire to my car) and of course HiDs my current girlfriend who’s a combination of the aforementioned two.

But what about Kate Garner? She’s a professional photographer and she’s not afraid of anyone. Kate was expelled from school at the age of 16 and became a runaway. She then joined a cult, the Children of God. Wiki says that to escape that cult Kate hitchhiked all the way from London to India, where she lived as a traveller. Then Kate came home and messed around in the music industry before launching a successful career in the visual arts. Photography.

Yes, Kate’s tough. Kate Garner isn’t afraid of a woman like Angelina Jolie. No sir. Back in 1995 she took a twenty year-old Angelina into a studio and kicked her ass! She then covered Angelina’s face in makeup and started taking photographs of her. I think the insurance company insisted on Angelina’s ankles being tethered. Health and Safety… and all that.

Angelina Jolie,photographs,rare, for sale

Fast forward to now. Kate’s black and white images of Angelina Jolie have now gone on sale at London’s Zebra One Gallery in Hampstead, London. They’re pretty damn rare too. To hang one of Kate’s photographs on your wall it’ll set you back £1,800.

I know you will say that it takes a proper photographer to tame a woman like Angelina Jolie. I’m not that photographer. I never was. I don’t want to tame her. It’s too much work. But Kate Garner?

Art Prints

Britain’s Child Migrants.


On Their Own: Britain’s child migrants, exhibition,V&A

Photography is a way of expressing feelings. Feelings caught on film forever. Little things remembered, long after little things are forgotten. Photography is the art of observation, altering life by holding it still.

Photography is an art form. It evolves and it creates. It saddens and it brings joy. And always, it inspires.

Take this new exhibition of photographs at the V&A Museum of Childhood for example. It’s called “On Their Own: Britain’s Child Migrants” and it charts the shameful history of child migration from Britain to it’s Commonwealth colonies between 1869 and 1970.

The children, some as young as four were shipped off to Canada, Australia and other Commonwealth countries in a series of misguided humanitarian schemes employed by successive British governments.

On Their Own: Britain’s child migrants, exhibition,V&A

Under these programs as many as 100,000 children, mainly from poor backgrounds and broken homes, were sent abroad for a “better life” in the colonies. Ultimately many were used as free child labour in factories and on farms. Slaves.

This exhibition documents their heartbreaking tragic… in photographs.

On Their Own: Britain’s child migrants, exhibition,V&A

‘On Their Own: Britain’s Child Migrants’ is a collaborative exhibition between the Australian National Maritime Museum, the National Museums of Liverpool and the V&A Museum of Childhood.

‘On Their Own: Britain’s child migrants’ opens at the V&A Museum of Childhood, London E2 on 24 October and runs until 12 June 2016. For details go here ~~> vam.ac.uk/moc.

Boris Johnson Doesn’t Cut His Own Hair.


Boris Johnson,haircut

Welcome to another slow-assed news day where nothing is going on except Boris Johnson and this picture of him having his haircut at a Turkish barbers.

I’m not sure if this will help any but his face is still way uglier than any haircut he could ever have but either way it’s always newsworthy when someone doesn’t give a damn.

At first it may seem odd that Boris Johnson has gained column inches here on NMi but if you remember that Boris is an annoying pain in the ass then it all starts to make sense.

It also coincides with my theory that all politicians are argumentative, evil, black hearted monsters who always do the opposite of what the people elect them to do.

For example, if we asked Boris Johnson to “shave his head” and “STFU” then he’d grow his hair past his ears and immediately start talking about bleaching his anus with an organic peroxide. However, there would be no inspiring words about how Londoners might pay their rent.

Honestly, why are all politicos such a pain in the ass?