QUICK PROGRAMMING NOTE: I’m about to make my way to Eastbourne to pass the bong around with some of my oldest friends. So unless those cheap bitches have a super-fast internet connection (which I doubt) this is my last post for this bank holiday weekend. Dolly Molly will be here to fill in the gaps while I’m gone (don’t hold your breath).
Anyway, whilst we’re on the subject of bongs. As you may have heard Amanda Bynes woke this morning with her face not quite so full of the blend fabulous. That’s because she’s currently sitting in a police cell AND that’s because she managed to get her dumb-bitch ass arrested last night.
All the gossip sites are reporting on how the police got a 911 last night regarding a ‘disorderly person’ being disorderly in an apartment on the 36th floor of a building in Manhatten.
And as any police officer in NYC knows disorderly and 36th floor means only mean one thing. Amanda Byrnes. So those police knocked on that disorderly door and when Amanda opened it their suspicions were confirmed. Amanda had hardly spurted out an, ‘Evening office how may I help you‘ when she immediately rushed to a window and threw out her beautiful bong.
Throwing bongs out of 36th floor windows is illegal in America. It comes under their tough ‘don’t be a stupid bitch’ laws. So they arrested her ass and charged it with reckless endangerment, tampering with evidence (for throwing the bong out the window) and possession of weed.
Before the police took Amanda to a police station (to have another glorious mug shot taken) they took her to a nearby hospital where she underwent a quick psychiatric evaluation. (throwing bongs is a madness, right?)
For those of you that haven’t seen them before here’s some mag scans of the inside of Amanda’s apartment, as they appeared in InTouch Magazine.
Anyways, Amanda remains in police custody awaiting a court hearing scheduled for later today. In the meanwhile lets remind ourselves of happier times, when Amanda was doing this.
Instead of making fun of Helen Flanagan’s rubber face today let’s focus on the positive for once.
Lets say nothing about that cheese-cloth top which looks like it was dried over a Burger King deep fryer. Or those fake lashes she’s wearing which remind me of a baby sparrow’s plucked wings.
Nor should we mention her scouse brows that were probably sculpted by the same mortician who slathered Michelle Collin’s face in putty sealant last week.
We should stop our hate bombing and not throw any shade at Helen for looking like a tip top mess yesterday. Yes, lets say something nice.
Umm, err…… here’s two fresh looking beauties posing for the latest PETA ad (exotic skin) in London yesterday.
Oh I give up. Let me pass you over to YouTube who’ll take it from here. Click.
I don’t think I’ve ever posted such a ridiculous headline before. Ridiculous on every level. At the Cannes Film Festival the other day, all the paps from all the agencies identified this guy (above) as Gangnam Style’s Psy. Well who wouldn’t. It turns out that it wasn’t Psy at all, but someone pretending to be him.
The Mailonline are saying that the Psy imposter has been scamming dumb bitches everywhere because not only did impostor Psy pose for pictures on all the red carpets he could find he also attended the Chopard party and fooled Naomie Harris’s ass, (see below)
The news agencies first realised they’d been scammed when the real Psy appeared on Livewith Michael and Kelly in NYC.
The real Psy is saying that the scam was arranged by this joker, Scooter Braun but Scooter hasn’t admitted shit yet (he kinda has on his site) AND his Twitter just said he is in Cannes!
You know, if Scooter did do this thing then he should be charged with obstruction of bone-fide gossip AND for giving a false name to the paps. They also need to charge him with being dumb enough to impersonate the real Psy because I think that charge carries an automatic death sentence.
And is it just me or does Naomie Harris look like she’s impersonating Whitney Houston in that picture above?
Oh and look what I just found!! A French fool getting all foolish and fooled. Watch.
Yesterday, Victoria Beckham tweeted a picture of the adorable pug pup, Posh Barnaby. Well, here’s another picture from Victoria’s Twitter page. Yes, say hello to Posh Pussy, aka Earnie.
When the Spice Girls broke into five separate parts, my soul turned into a black lump of ash so lots of people sent me cute puppy cams to try and fill the dead hole in my life. Well, today’s the day I say goodbye to my dead hole, Posh Pussy has made my heart sing again.
For some of you, this may restore your faith in love after you thought it was all lost when the Spicies went away. Oh I know, Posh Pussy sounds like something that might crawl into your nightmares, but this one is actually kind of adorable.
That said, Posh Pussy is small enough to get into your bedroom undetected, climb onto your bed and steal the air from your mouth and nostrils at the same time. This is why I present to you, ‘Pussy in a ball’. Click.
And no, I would not be surprised if you told me that “pussy stuck in a ball” is the #1 reason why people go to A&E in the middle of the night.
So many damn questions. The mystery of George Michael’s head wham (sorry) on the M1 motorway deepens. As your asses already know George was involved in a car accident on the M1 motorway last Friday afternoon. By Monday we’d heard that George had actually fallen from the car while it was travelling at over 70mph.
I was going to ask who tries to open and shut a car door on a motorway, but then I realised that the answer is only a fool like George Michael. Obviously. But today we’re hearing how Autocar Magazine’s Colin Goodwin has told the Daily Mirror that it’s really hard to open a car door at 70mph, let alone accidentally ‘fall out’.
The Mirror are now asking what was George doing in that car in the first place? They have a theory. They think that George might have done this shit on purpose. They’re saying the police are investigating the possibility that George jumped. JUMPED!
Well, maybe nothing gives George the hots like a slap from a concrete hand and if that’s the case, then he needs to get more Kinky-Contacts into his life, he can find that shit on there without having to even look at a car.
Oh, George. Whenever he’s in a car bad things seem to happen. I think George and motor-cars are done professionally, they don’t go well together. George needs to get one of those children’s play cars, so he can sit on his driveway and pretend he’s on a motorway. He can even take a hit of the ‘Mary Jane’ and then fall out of his play car laughing like a tickled zebra, if that’s how he wants to have fun.
I was going to post a picture of Kim Kardashian looking like a parachute but who needs to look at that kind of uckery when you can look at THIS! Victoria Beckham posted this picture of ‘Posh Barnaby‘ to Twitter last night. Isn’t he the most adorable little meth face you ever saw! I bet if you blew [...]
When normal people go to see a film at the cinema, they leave their baby with a £10 an hour teenage babysitter or if they’re Kate Moss, they leave the kid in the playroom with a bottle of bolly. But when the duke and duchess of show business, Beyonce and Jay Z go out they [...]
The Roon’s are getting one baby closer to outnumbering us non-Roons and it’s only a question of time before they take over the world, enslave us all then force us to take their laundry to the launderette. In the early hours of this morning Coleen Roon popped out baby number two followed by Wayne Roon [...]
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Last Friday prayer circles were formed in dozens of men’s toilets when the news leaked out that George Michael had been hospitalised after a car accident on the M1. Today there’s more news on that story and once again it comes from The Sun. Yes, The Sun have found an eye witness to what happened on that [...]
Some people are looking at that picture and saying it’s the opposite of sexy. I get that. Katie is currently playing a manic depressive in love in a Spike Lee-produced movie called Mania Days and it’s a damn miracle they get any filming done at all, because if the boys see her bare lady knee, they’ll hump a bastard child into [...]
And so the mutiny begins. For some of you, the news that Justin Bieber got booed at the Billboard Awards last night will keep you smiling for the rest of the day. For the rest of you, here’s a lesson in booing. Booing is a way of passing wind over somebody without leaving a smell, which makes [...]
Oh dearie dearie dear. Madonna can feel that face? She can feel it! Can’t you see? She can feel it? No. No she can’t. Sometimes the headline and the picture tell the audience everything they need to know about a story. Actually, I have no idea what Madge’s face is made of nowadays, but I wouldn’t put [...]
