In a move that was probably intended to mock lisping people all around the world, Kanye West decided to drop by The Jonathan Ross show and say something stupid. It’s safe to say the interview didn’t go too well.
Naturally “Kanye’s people” agreed with “Jonathan’s people” that West would refrain from ranting like a moron despite the fact that he’s more famous for the idiotic shit that he says than he is for his music.
Jonathan was hoping for more. He wanted to ask Kanye West about why his slutty wife had retired from the porn industry.
And why people call his sister-in-law (Khloe) “the slow one.”
And is it true what some online commenters have speculated, namely that he’s a SUCKERRRRRRRrrrrrr of COCKSSSSSSSssssss. (see: Givenchy creative director Riccardo Tisci.)
Yes, Kanye West loves the sound of his own ranting voice more than his mother-in-law loves her weight-restricting undergarments. Wossy believed there was no way that this American ass-clown could keep his mouth shut. An epic 30 minute rant was all but in the bag.
Unfortunately what Wossy actually got was total silence. Kanye West had stopped talking. Yes, after singing a shitty little song Kayne just lay down on the floor and refused to speak to the lispy presenter.
Jonathan tried everything he could think of to get the ‘super tough’ rapper to speak. But to no avail. So a baffled Jonathan eventually lay down beside him and made jokes about the size of Kim Kardashian’s bottom.
“If you want to spoon I don’t mind. It’s not as big as Kim’s but it is all yours.”
But Kanye West still stayed silent. After a while he got up, left the stage and stomped out of the studio.
I’m going to call bullshit on this show before it even begins. This nonsense was scripted. Had to be. Kanye loves the sound of his voice more than any man I know. His feelings aren’t real until he shares them in some unintelligible manner with a microphone. He can’t help his dumb ass.
Besides, it’s one thing for Kanye West to stop talking, it’s quite another to quit his entire ‘raison d’tre.’ It just can’t be done.