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Kyle Walker – Video Nasty Denied.

Kyle walker,smut,video,Newsmediaimages.com

Welcome to another slow-ass news day where nothing is going on except for a bunch of lawyers acting for Tottenham Hotspur footballer, Kyle Walker.

It has been almost 72 hours since amateur video footage showing a dog and a filthy harlot going at it hammer and tongue first made it’s debut on Twitter. The tape was filmed by a man who’s face cannot be seen, but his voice can be heard.

When the trolling trollops of Twitter saw the tape it took them just 5 minutes to attribute (falsely) the man’s voice to Kyle Walker.

When Kyle Walker heard about the tape it took him just 2 hours to deny that the awful video, which showed the dog suckling on the filthy harlot’s lady parts, had anything to do with him.

Kyle took to his Facebook and had this to say:

‘I wasn’t going to comment on the rumours going around myself and my family but as people are still talking about them, I feel I need to set the record straight. 

‘I am aware of a video being shared on social media and am disgusted by the suggestion that it’s anything to do with us.

‘With so many young people on social media I am horrified that content of that nature has been shared so many times.

‘My legal team are monitoring the activity surrounding this.’

Obviously, nothing ever disappears from the Internet as quickly as a footballer’s good name and reputation. So Kyle Walker is now consulting with lawyers and may ultimately seek a temporary restraining order against Twitter to force them to remove this awful video from the timelines.

According To MailOnline, Kyle Walker’s lawyers are also muscling up against any sites that are hosting the tape and are determined to go to any lengths to ensure nobody watches it ever again. And it’s been reported that they’re prepared to do the same to all those twattering trolls on Twitter who have taken Kyle Walker’s name in vain.

I don’t know, is going after the trolls with a combination of dark threats and laughable lawsuits going to make any difference? After all, Tory peer Lord McAlpine tried kicking the shit out of the trolls ala Schilling style but it didn’t stop them moving on to pastures new.

Once again I’m left wondering why these lawyers bother. Sure it’s lamentable that a percentage of social media users are pigs. I hate that you can’t do everything in the social media world in a safe and sane environment.

And yes, wouldn’t it be nice if you could feed your ego by becoming the next social media super star who only posts about wholesome things and has people responding positively. Y’know, with lots of Likes and LOLs and thumbs up.

Grow the fuck up lawyers. You can’t repair the cracks in the digital world with empty threats of legal action.

If you really want to be free of Twitter trolls, then get them off social media altogether. Talk to Twitter Inc. This is their job.

You’re a 50 year-old legal firm with some decent residuals piled up. You might have time to take a few weeks off chasing down the trolls but it’s not surrender to move on to more productive pursuits. Clients don’t give you pay cheques for winning pointless battles.

And please, don’t think that getting five trolls suspended off Twitter is going to save the world. Your idle threats are a complete waste of time.

Funny Video: Fat Man Stuck In A Seat Belt.

I think this funny video has drawn some graphic comments on social media recently. A man stuck in a seatbelt after loosing the gluttonous war known as Man Vs. Food.

As the world acknowledges that fat ain’t beautiful this man might be the only person alive who doesn’t want to boast about losing weight. No this man didn’t run his marathons, he just kept right on embarrassing Fat America.

This may placate the trolls on social media who confuse screwing up your life with a cultural acceptance that overweight is some kind of genetic inheritance. I’m guessing the trolls would never forgive him if he ever turned slender.

And no, I have no idea how he got out of that seatbelt. If he ever did.

Top Gear Trio In Secret Meeting.

Top gear,Secret Meeting,Clarkson,newsmediaimages.com

When Jeremy Clarkson was fired from Top Gear for beating the crap out of one of his producers I kind of sympathised with him. As someone who works in the media I can assure you there are plenty of people in the TV industry that deserve a good ass whooping.

Anyway, since the sacking of Clarkson there’s been little in terms of good news for the fans of Top Gear. If anything the news has been bad, all bad and nothing but bad. Clarkson in cancer scare, James May resigns, the small one joins Billy Smart’s circus and more recently Top Gear’s most influential executive producer, Andy Wilman resigns.

However, in between the bad news there has been hope. Always hope. Rumours of a rival show have been circulating around Fleet Street faster than a hooker can hump in trainers. [click to continue…]

Heidi Klum Romping.

Heidi Klum,romping,newsmediaimages.com

Heidi Klum isn’t the kind of super model who doesn’t give back. She’s got some kick ass moves to teach any aspiring young model who wants to get ahead in a business where thousands compete for a few dozen career slots.

Heidi’s first piece of advice is to write a to-do list.

1) Be super good looking.

2) Have a baby with an Italian billionaire.

3) Marry an internationally hot music star.

4) Go to a Caribbean island where the laws on 40-somethings romping with younger men are less rigorous.

5) Let your younger man give your ass a tickle and then release pictures on line.

There. Free clothes and champagne for life. No need for college, no need to work, before you know it you’ll be 40 rich and very very horny.

Oh I know. I made all that nonsense up. Here’s the truth of it.

The pictures above are all screen grabs from the music video “Fire Meet Gasoline” It’s on the album 1000 FORMS OF FEAR by Sia.

Katie Hopkins On Food Banks.

Katie Hopkins,Food banks,The Sun,Column,newsmediaimages.com

Katie Hopkins has been on this page 13 times and 9 of those times were because she’s a bitter old pain in the ass.

One time she was here for haranguing people with weight issues, twice it was for cursing benefit claimants, once it was for insulting children with plain names, last time it was for being a bitch towards immigrants.

Yes. This sludge-like excuse of humanity is a gift to the blogosphere that just keeps on giving. Seriously, I’m considering having a daily Hopkins post. She’s that newsworthy.

As you’re all aware a petition demanding that the Sun Newspaper fire Katie’s unsavoury ass as a columnist was signed by over 300,000 people recently. But to no avail. She’s still there. Penning her dark, twisted hatred, angrily screwing with your mind and using her column as an access portal to hell. [click to continue…]

Adam Johnson Charged Under Sexual Offences Act.

Adam Johnson,Charged,Sex Offences,Sunderland FC, Newsmediaimages.com

In March of this year Sunderland football player, Adam Johnson was arrested at his mansion. Policemen asked him about allegations of sexual activity with a child under 16 years old and another one of grooming. That, as it turns out is illegal.

All the offences are alleged to have taken place between last December and this February.

Well, today Adam Johnson attended Peterlee police station in County Durham to answer his bail. It was then that his entire life turned into a mountain of wet shit. That’s right, those police officers charged Andy Johnson with four offences under the Sexual Offences Act 2003. [click to continue…]