Orlando Bloom,Justin Bieber,fight,punch,Miranda Kerr,Ibiza, video,Last October after Orlando Bloom had filed for divorce from Miranda Kerr, the internet burst into a glitter-ball of unsolved blind items about who Miranda had been passing her private parts to. One candidate was Justin Bieber.

I never really believed that those two did anything other than watch the Muppet Show together but since 99% of people believed that Justin had slipped his wee-wee sausage into Miranda’s heart-shaped strawberry I kinda accepted that as all the hearsay evidence needed to establish Bieber’s guilt. Exhibit A

Even though Orlando and Miranda have since gone their separate ways the bad blood between Justin and Orlando continues to boil.

According to both TMZ and The Sun a fight broke out in the early hours of this morning between that badass Bieber boy and the nut stompin’ angry man Orlando Bloom. The fight started at the Cipriani restaurant in Ibiza after Justin had thrown a derogatory comment (about Miranda) at Orlando.

Well, Orlando wasn’t about to take abuse from some overgrown toddler without responding to it. Not today. Not any day. Below is a short video of the incident. Unfortunately you don’t get to see Orlando taking his swing at Justin. It starts with Justin screaming, “What’s up bitch?”

There’s some chest puffing and a little shoving before the pair are pulled apart. Justin then exits the restaurant and runs off to post this picture (below) of Miranda up to his Instagram page. Note the crown.


And that’s about it. I’m sure the police will investigate the incident as soon as they start giving a f**k.


Kate Moss – EasyDrunk.

by Mike D.W on July 30, 2014

in Celebrity

Kate Moss, drunk, airport,Turkey,rehab,ticket,easyJet,Yesterday, just hours after leaving the LifeCo rehab clinic in Turkey the ‘Golden Sunflower’ we know as Kate Moss arrived at Bodrum Airport and went straight to the EasyJet check-in desk. She had no ticket and looked drunker than a thousand Apaches.

According to The Daily Mail Kate somehow managed to ‘persuade’ the check-in clerk to allow her to board the next flight to Gatwick.

I mean HOW?!?

Listen, this is obviously just a big misunderstanding that I’m sure we can work out” while making blow job motions? Who knows.

Anyway, when did the Daily Mail get so touchy about looking like a wasted hand puppet covered in hobo poop at an airport? I just naturally assumed that when one purchased an EasyJet ticket, it came with a bottle of whiskey and a voucher for the in-flight punch-up.

Well, we all know what happened next….. iPhone, meet your new wallpaper.

#FreePalestine, Zayn Malik,death threats,Twitter,tweet, abuse,Palestine,war,Anyone who dares talk trash about One Direction usually finds their inbox filling up with death threats from insane 12 year-olds screaming their anuses off while threatening to murder their faces.

Zayn Malik, who was raised as a Muslim, was bombarded with death threats yesterday after he tweeted the hashtag #FreePatestine to his 13 million followers.


One thing:

Malik probably assumed that his protest tweet was popular because it got nearly 200,000 retweets and 190,000 favourites within just a few minutes. However, as soon as he posted his tweet the hate and abuse started to pour in.

Bitches started sending him death threats because that’s entirely reasonable, right? Here’s a small sample of the hate that has been thrown Zayn’s way for tweeting what so many on planet Earth are thinking.

“I loved u but now I hope u will die”  

“You are a complete f****** moron!!!”

“Get a life whore.”  

“If he wanted peace he wouldn’t take the hamas side.”  

“I’m honestly at the point where even I don’t understand my love for you. It’s really far beyond comprehension.”  

“Your joking!!! You support terrorism!!!”  

“Am I making them cry??? When he dies in a missile attack, then I will be happy.”  

“He should die in his sleep…..more then what the innocents are getting in Israel.”  


Two thing:

They say that you haven’t made it until you’ve received a death threat, so “liking” the people of Palestine will almost certainly get a tweet with a skull on it sent to your inbox. I’m sure if the police trace these tweets they’ll find they all came from a pink laptop with a denim cozy over it. (I’m looking at you, Max George).


For those of you who found your way here by Googling dickforsize then I apologize because I’m not going to give what your sick ass wants. However, here’s some news that will make you want to shake your dick at the floor whilst howling, “FORSIZE ” at the moon.

Yesterday the Sunday Mirror told of a slutty goblin who sank to a new level of shamelessness. In their exposé a blonde kiss-n-tell girl told the tabloid how she’d taken a risqué ride on Danielle Lloyd’s husband, Jamie O’Hara.

The woman, in her late twenties claimed that O’Hara had bought her cocktails in a Birmingham night club one Saturday night before ‘dickforsizing’ her at a nearby hotel and then again at his £2.3m family home in Sutton Coldfield.

Here’s an extract;

“He had been really sweet, cuddling up to me. Inside his house there were pictures of Danielle and the kids all over the place but he just didn’t seem to bother about his wife. He told me they weren’t together.”

“I know what I did was wrong and I regret it now. But I’m single and I was drunk and fancied him. He lied to me. He said they had split up. The worst thing is he showed no remorse.”

(Via: Mirror)

And now all the tabloids are reporting that a desperately distraught Danielle has walked out on her husband. Yes, the poor woman is so upset that she’s packed a bag and left her marital home.

Jamie O’Hara always looks to me like he’s about to impart some really bad news, like he’s just smoked your entire stash or something, so I don’t think I could wake up to that ugly face every morning. But Danielle could. So yeah, if you think the hot piece from Wolverhampton Wanderers football club looks bad now, just wait until you see what he looks like when a divorce court sucks all the hotness out of him.

But why? Why to all of this? This story should come with a sticker on the front that says “Find out more on the Internet! No really.

Anyway. Lets take a break from all this sadness and listen to some music…..

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SHOCKING: Lily Allen Behaves Like A Giant Mess In Australia.

July 28, 2014 Celebrity

Normally I’m the first person to tell the police to calm the hell down and get back to investigating important things, like parents who pack their kid’s lunch boxes with deep fried Mars bars but on this occasion I’ll stay quiet because someone really needs to find out why Lily Allen was handcuffed after stepping off […]

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July 25, 2014 Celebrity

If you want to launch a classic womans fragrance that brings style, sophistication and polish then you’re going to need an advertising agency, some moody selfies and a video clip with a fresh perspective. Take a page out of the shameless fame whore guide by sending your husband off to the local Spy Shop to buy a high-tech surveillance camera. Then get him to […]

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July 24, 2014 Celebrity

After being handcuffed for slapping asses, smoking and acting insane during a musical on Broadway last month smellard smellbag Shia LaBeouf found himself standing before a judge in the Manhattan Criminal Court today. The smellarocious actor was facing charges of harassment, disorderly conduct and criminal trespass for allegedly yelling abuse and slapping actors during their opening […]

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Nicola Roberts: Hot Flush Of The Day.

July 24, 2014 Celebrity

Damn it’s turning into a slow news day, Fleet Street should be shut down and prosecuted to the furthest extent of the law for making celebrities look like fish. I knew this day would come and now it’s finally here, just in time for the end of the world. I’ve read every inch of the gossip […]

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July 23, 2014 Celebrity

Today The Sun’s front page looks like that picture above as they report on the inquest into the sad death of Peaches Geldof which happened last April. When her death was first reported everyone said that no trace of the baddest of all bad – heroin – was found anywhere in Peaches’ house but that the police suspected somebody had gotten rid of any drugs/paraphernalia before […]

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July 23, 2014 Celebrity

Go ahead, start pouring that vodka into your bathtub now, because you’re going to have to soak your body in a whole lot of booze after you’ve read the latest chapter in the messy and sad marriage that has become Katie Price’s latest pay cheque. For over a week now Fleet Street’s literary journal of truth, The Sun […]

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Twitter Troller Threatens To Rape Maria Fowler.

July 23, 2014 Celebrity

Former Towie star Maria Fowler says she’s being stalked by an internet troll who has threatened to blow up her house and then rape her. Detectives with the Derbyshire police force are investigating after Maria told them that a rape-threatening troller messaged her on Twitter about a week ago. Before this story made it to the Sun or any […]

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Myleene’s Two Piece Pap Pose.

July 21, 2014 Celebrity

For the past month or so the paparazzi on the island of Ibiza have been wandering the beaches wondering what to do with themselves. Every so often they’d come across a dead seahorse lying in the sand and they’d burst into tears as they remembered all the beautiful staged bikini moments they’d had with Myleene […]

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Mad Madge Gets Parking Ticket.

July 21, 2014 Celebrity

Welcome to the ‘made-up news’, a post where most of the content has been exaggerated in order to fill the white spaces left between the facts and the truth. After eating at London’s Firehouse restaurant on Saturday night the queen of pension-pop, Madonna returned to her car only to find a parking ticket tucked under her windscreen wiper. The thing, […]

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