Katie Price’s new baby daughter has officially been named as BUNNY HAYLER and this picture on the cover of OK Magazine shows the paralysed look of a baby who’s just learned that it’s entire life will be tainted by the sound of it’s own name.
I sincerely hope for this child’s sake that someone can invent time travel within the next 5 years or so, because Bunny Hayler will need to fulfil her destiny by going back in time and running a rowdy saloon in the Wild Wild West. It really is that bad.
At interview with OK Katie told them how she and her husband came up with the name that sounds like a body glitter for aspiring strippers;
“We really struggled to decide on a name. I wanted to call her Duchess Kate or just Duchess, but Kieran didn’t like that, so we’ve chosen Bunny, which we both like. It’s really cute, isn’t it? I considered it being spelt Bunni with a heart above the i, but I don’t think that’s really a part of the English language.”
Really cute baby name? She meant really stupid baby name right? Seriously though, Katie already has a daughter named Princess Tiaamii so Bunny seems a little tame to me. I was hoping for something a little more imaginative and creative from Katie. Like Period Pearl, Fanny Fragrance, Pussy Perfect or Snatchalicious perhaps.
That being said Bunny Hayler sounds like a breakfast cereal your parents thought was the healthy option back in the 80s but later discovered it contained 50 grams of sugar in each spoonful. Bunny has the face of that cereal.
This is how a headline and the picture can tell the reader everything they need to know about the story. And yes, when you’re featuring the Columbian ladies cycling team you know it’s a slow news day.
This ladies cycling outfit is probably the nearest Columbia will get to a weapon of mass destruction. Nowhere is safe. When parents across South America look at that picture a thin layer of sin will slide over their eyes and they’ll shuffle their children off to the nearest church to pray for all the innocence that’s being sucked from God’s green Earth.
I hate myself for posting this, it makes me want to close the coffin door and go to sleep!
There’s nothing like a heartwarming tweet to spoil our appetite for fast food. Hot dogs in particular. Jack P Shepherd, who plays David Platt in Coronation Street, discovered this when he shook his Twitter fans out of their backsides by tweeting jokes about the Manchester Dogs’ Home fire.
The actor tweeted:
“I have a million “hot dog” jokes” and “You guys need to lighten up. #GetItLightenUp.”
Just a few minutes later his comments caused Twitter to suffer an outage of outrage so Jack was forced to issue this grovelling apology.
“I sincerely apologise for any offence I’ve caused. This was not intended to be a malicious tweet and I didn’t consider the offence it would cause.
At the time I didn’t realise the scale of the tragedy but that doesn’t excuse my behaviour. I now realise how insensitive I have been.
I have made a donation to the MCR dogs home and I’m very sorry for my behaviour.”
Hundreds of Coronation Street fans have now threatened to boycott the soap and demand that Shepherd – who has appeared in the show since he was 12 – be sacked. This forced a spokeswoman for the show to promise everyone that Jack would receive a serious slappette for his anti-canine, racist bigotry.
The spokeswoman said:
“Jack quickly realised the insensitivity of his tweets and deleted them straight away.
“Jack’s ill-judged and insensitive tweets were clearly unacceptable and we will be talking to him about his conduct.”
Following Thursday’s blaze dog lovers all across the country donated money to the dogs’ home. More than £1million has been raised so far. Yesterday people waiting to donate supplies to the home caused a massive tailback (sorry) on the M6. Service stations even agreed to act as drop-off points after the motorway became gridlocked.
Y’know, if a fire broke out in my house, the only things I’d grab would be my bong and my little spaniel dog Murphy. If a fire broke out, I’d like to think that Murphy would grab me too, but he’d probably just grab the bacon from the fridge. Talking of bacon, I should probably replace the battery that I took out of our smoke alarm. I took it out when it kept going off every time I cooked bacon.
(And no I don’t want to hear another thing about tweeting #hotdog jokes. Thankyouverymuch)
According to the Sun newspaper today a sex tape starring the man with the most punchable face in Britain is up for sale and he’s trying really hard to keep it from scorching our eyeballs. The tabloid insists that in the tape Tumble judge Louis Smith is seen stripping off, talking sexy and performing an unmentionable act on himself.
Dan Wooton writes in his show business column that the tape was made three years ago with a ‘model’ via Skype and whilst it probably looks like a skinny Wolverine wrestling with a laughing ghost the web cam girl is trying to sell it to the highest bidder. Dan goes on to say that several porn companies have placed offers on the table, including Celebrity Busted but (if any of this is true) I’m guessing the model would opt to go with Vivid because they pay the most for these kind of celebrity shamers.
Again assuming that this has any relationship with the truth (and that Louis is not leaking his own tape) then my head is now filled with laughter just thinking about him freaking out about everyone seeing his shaven man parts.
But y’know, I’ve stopped laughing now because I’m disgusted with myself for actually wanting to see a Louis Smith sex tape.
I can’t help it, my brain is a bin liner.