≡ Menu

People Want Prince William For King.


Prince William Prince Charles nmi newsmediaimagesACCORDING to the Sun newspaper, who once reported a story correctly in 1998, most of the British people want to see Prince William become their next King. Not his father Charles.

A poll conducted for The Sun showed that 51 per cent of the people want Prince William to be their next King with only 22% backing Charles – most of his support came from the over-75s.

Ken Wharfe, Diana’s royal protection officer, said she had always believed her son William would become King before Charles.

Of the poll Ken said:

“I cannot disagree with these statistics. No other monarch has ever reigned   as long as The Queen – the thought of getting an ageing grey-haired King Charles is perhaps not the best option.”

Whilst Prince William is clearly the peoples choice it’s hard not to feel slightly sorry for him. I mean spending his formative years wondering if he’d inherit those big ears from his father. What must that have felt like? Then he goes prematurely bald at twenty-two – thanks Dad.

Then there was the etiquette school. Who wants that at the age of five?

Really, I honestly feel quite sorry for Prince William. After all he can’t be happy. He may have a ton of money in the bank but he can’t spend it.

Recreation

As for his pastimes and recreational pursuits Prince William has been forced to play polo most of his adult life which can’t have been much fun.

He used to love flying his air rescue helicopter but they’ve taken that away from him now.

Married Life

Now that he’s married there’s the constant worry that North Korea might kidnap his wife and hold her to ransom. I think it would be pretty awful if countries started doing that kind of thing again.

There’s worse things of course. How about having to tell your wife to stop wearing summer dresses with high hemlines while getting in and out of helicopters? That can’t be easy.

And worse still, what about all the pain he went through when he guillotined that French magazine for publishing boobtastic pictures of his wife’s bare chest? Awful, simply awful.

Poor chap, I think he’d be so much happier selling men’s suits at Debenhams.

Yes, if you’re forced to pity a billionaire, then Prince William is the one to choose.

Simon Cowell – Gender Pay Pioneer.


simon Cowell,newsmediaimages, equal pay,BBC,X FactorSimon Cowell has achieved so much in life, signing a whole bunch of pop acts no-ones ever heard of, berating emotionally disturbed singers on national TV and having a baby with his best friends wife. But this all pales into insignificance compared to his latest achievement. That’s right, Simon Cowell has just become a gender pay ‘pioneer’.

Following the recent BBC salaries scandal which revealed an embarrassing  pay gap between men and women, Simon Cowell has revealed that he pays Nicole Scherzinger and Sharon Osbourne more than he does Louis Walsh.

And this makes him a ‘gender pay pioneer.’

The music mogul said that despite being hugely embarrassing for the broadcaster the unequal pay scandal had been a good thing for everyone who had discovered they were being underpaid.

Of his own pay policy at the X Factor Simon said;

“Over the years I would say we’ve probably paid the girls more money than the guys. If they get the money, it doesn’t matter to me whether you’re a boy or a girl.

For once this is good news. Victory…, I just don’t tell Louis. Besides he’s got enough money for a bum implant so he shouldn’t be complaining.”

Yeah, I’m a pioneer I guess.”

If you’re going to be proud of anything Simon, then be proud of that.

Anyway moving on…. The BBC pay gender scandal.

Who are the players here? Of the 96 highest earners at the BBC, 62 are male and 34 female. The average man earns £295,000 while the average woman earns £210,000.

This is unconventional madness. We are no longer living in a feminist bubble where everything is rainbows and struggle-free sunshine. No sir, lets face it the lady told the BBC that she was worth more. She explained why she was worth more. So they paid her less.

This is as unfair as it is immoral. Firstly, that someone believed she could live off £2100,000 a year and secondly the courage she showed in the face of male privilege. Cheek of it!

I don’t begrudge anybody working their butt off and getting paid more than the GDP of the world’s poorest nation. Not by a little but by a lot. However, I’m sure the BBC now have a name for these poor ladies. It probably rhymes with program glitches.

Katie Price – A Prostitute For Harvey?


Katie Price, Harvey-prostitute news, media, imagesKatie Price (who apparently, scalped a My Little Pony for that wig) is a regular panelist on the ITV talk show Loose Women. On Wednesday she talked about her 15-year-old angel son Harvey. Harvey is partially blind, on the autistic spectrum and has a disorder called Parder-Willi syndrome.

During her discussions with the other panelists, Katie Price naturally got onto that demon subject – sex!

Katie told them that ever since her son Harvey started puberty she’d wondered how to help him with his romantic life. Should she introduce sex to him? If so, how? Katie then confessed she had been contemplating hiring a prostitute to take Harvey’s virginity when he reaches adulthood.

Katie made her confession during a discussion with author Kathy Lette who also contemplated hiring a prostitute for her own autistic son, Jules.

Talking directly to Kathy, mother-of-five Katie said:

‘‘My son Harvey has autism, he’s now 15 and naturally at 15 it’s normal to experiment with yourself.  

I read that you said you would hire your son a prostitute.

Your son is high functioning with autism but Harvey is at a different end of spectrum, so is it fair for him to experience it (sex)?

Shall I get him a prostitute for his 18th birthday? For me, that’s my little Harvey and he hasn’t got a clue about those things, but what do I do?”

Kathy then answered:

“I think you wait and see if he’s angst ridden about it (sex) and if it’s an issue for him. For Jules it really was.”

Loose Women was then pulled off air due to an ‘inappropriate segment.’

My opinion.

Well thank-you ITV, pulling the show off air was about as helpful as those evil-hearted trolls who regually spew hate balls at Harvey on social media.

Be that as it may Katie’s foolish notions are not going to bring around the type of woman a mother wants to meet her son. But then again, neither are giant lips over a pair of enormous fake tits. And yes, I accept both will definitely bring men around.

Anyway. Harvey had the right idea a few years ago when he told Peter Andre to “f**k off” in their reality show. Well played, Harvey! You had the right idea back then.  I only wish you could give a similar retort to the producers of Loose Women now.

If I were Harvey Price then I’d ask my mother a simple, truthful and yet polite question. Press play.

George Michael: Fadi’s Careless Whispers.


George Michael, Fadi Fawaz, news, media, images, newsmediaimages, The story of George Michael and his former partner Fadi Fawaz took a new turn last night when Fadi took to his Twitter page to say that he was hungry and thirsty.

In a series of tweets the hairdresser claimed that he had so little money he couldn’t afford to buy a flower for the singer’s grave. However, on a more sinister note George Michael’s former partner implied there may be something about the singer’s death that hasn’t been told. Yet.

The 44-year-old, who found the singer dead in his home on Christmas Day, started his stream of tweets with,

I don’t know what truth Fadi is talking about. He seems to be implying that there’s something about George’s death that hasn’t come out yet.

Fadi needs to shut-up. Everyone knows that death is a private matter. There’s the coroner, his official filing and a public notice. That’s enough, right?

Really, there’s something to be said for privacy you know, even after you’ve gone.

Anyway, the tweets didn’t stop there. Poor Fadi went on to say that he was hungry. In his tweets he said that he is struggling to buy milk and water. He also said he was even searching his car for pound coins so he could buy a cheeseburger.

Everyone knows that while George Michael had a voice that sounded like a hot tub feels he was also generous to a fault. I don’t know if they have Twitter in heaven yet but if they do, then George Michael had better send some tweets to his needy angel.

“Hey Fadi. Jesus backed into my cloud last week and he asked me to give you some fishes and bread. I’ve been reading your Twitter, and I knew you were waiting for me”

It does seem like there’s something’s going on here and I’m not going to speculate (HAHAHA!) on what it is.

However, I am going to say… Careless whispers.

Somebody had to say it.

Victoria Beckham – Insta-Look!


Victoria Beckham,newsmediaimages,Mike Wheeler,News, Media, Images,It seems like forever since I last published something on our old favourite, Victoria Beckham. I’ll have to tread carefully here as this is one woman who understands media law even better than Donald Trump does.

Lets begin. Looking like a released hostage Victoria Beckham posted a picture of herself on Instagram today. She captioned her picture with, ‘I mean, who doesn’t get out of the shower in the London look?! #VBxEsteeLauderx VB.’

What she meant by ‘London look’ remains a vastly confusing question when you consider that all-you-don’t-eat thing she has going on. A woman who likes to show off on social media quickly runs out of good ideas.

Seriously, there’s no compelling reason for her to post this photo of herself on Instagram. Science may continue to improve lives, one rich woman at a time, but posting pictures of yourself getting out of the shower seems a superfluous waste of energy to me.

Lets get back to my assertion that Victoria Beckham is an old favourite. I honestly have no idea where I got the idea that she’s old. Lets face it she has barely aged since her finger-pointing days. Frankly, I was shocked to hear that she’d had her 43rd birthday this year. I just assumed she’d had her passport replaced with a price tag that reads ‘expensive baggage, handle with care.’

The concept is good, the rationale behind it slightly cynical.

Sorry Victoria….

Boris Becker – Declared Bankrupt


Boris Becker,BankruptBoris Becker, the three time Wimbledon tennis champion, has been declared bankrupt. He owed £3.34million to a private bank based in the City of London.

Last week a London Bankruptcy court sat down to hear the sorry tale of how, despite warnings, Boris Becker had repeated failed to pay £3.34m to merchant bankers, Arbuthnot & Co.

The court heard how Becker had offered to remortgage his €6 million property (£5.2m) in Majorca in order to pay off the debt. His lawyer John Briggs, told the judge, Christine Derrett, that Boris Becker expected the remortgage deal to be approved by a Spanish bank in around a month. Then Boris would settle the debt. Really, he would.

The lawyer told the court;

“I don’t want to play around in court but Boris Becker is not a sophisticated individual when it comes to finances. It is clearly in the interests (of Arbuthnot Latham) for there to be refinancing.” 

However the lawyer for Arbuthnot Latham, Matthew Abraham retorted,

“There is no evidence to back up Becker’s claim that the remortgaging of his Majorcan property will go ahead.” 

After an hour of back-and-forth arguments the judge, Ms Christine Derrett made her decision. She was having none of Boris’s childlike pleas for more time to pay and made an immediate order for bankruptcy saying;

“It is not often that a professional person has a judgment outstanding against them since October 2015. This is an historic debt.

 I am not persuaded that the evidence before me can be described as credible evidence. One has the impression of a man with his head in the sand.”

Boris Becker – where the money went.

Boris Becker was once estimated to be worth over £100 million. However in 2001 Boris was landed with divorce and paternity settlements which totalled more than £20 million. That debt was ultimately caused by an encounter with a Russian model in a broom cupboard in London’s Nobu restaurant.

The following year a German court handed Becker a two-year suspended sentence for tax evasion. He had claimed that Monaco was his main residence while spending most of his time in Munich. He was also ordered to pay £2.5 million in back tax, fines, and costs.

In 2012 a Spanish court ordered a house Becker had built in Majorca be auctioned to pay a debt of £225,000 which he owed to a landscape gardening company.

In a separate hearing, a judge in Palma ordered him to pay £345,000 to a building firm for carpentry, electrical and plumbing jobs, and the laying of a basketball court, which were also unpaid.

Then in 2011 the Dubai property development to which he had lent his name, the Boris Becker Business Tower, went bust.

It seems to me that having an all-inclusive, multicultural, multi sexy business empire doesn’t pay like it used to.

Maybe the BBC should give him a raise so he can afford to keep buying his groceries at Whole Foods. After all nobody wants to see an international tennis star shopping at Lidl’s. It’s unsettling.