For the past few days, NMi has been dealing with a blackmailing hacker who just wouldn’t go away. I’ve bitched about it on Twitter a few times. It felt like an obese burping frog had got stuck in our server.
We tried everything but to no avail. NMi was down, our pile of scandalous scribbles seemingly unplugged from the world wide web forever.
I knew it was serious on Tuesday when my web manager looked me in the eye and said, “Stop drinking and help me fix this shit.” He might as well have said, “Just die slowly.” I don’t even know how I’m still alive.
So, on a no booze, no coffee and a no fun diet I requested the help of an expert who can exist on a Salvation Army budget.
It worked! After 53 hours our budget fix-a-trick managed to kick that blackmailer’s ass black, blue and all the way back to Russia. Or wherever. He’s gone now. Without his ransom.
And finally I’ve managed to get to my laptop to drool out some incoherent nonesense about some shit you probably don’t care about.
Yes it’s Alan Carr posing as Cheryl Fernandez-Versini for his upcoming New Year Spectacular. See pic above.
But no, I really don’t want any of you to send me e-mails saying: “I WAS FIRED FOR HAVING A LACE-COVERED ALAN CARR ON MY SCREEN WHILE AT WORK!”
This pic will be on top for the next few hours while I’m lying on my back, mouth wide open, guzzling down the boozeahol.