Emma Watson, actress,British,naked,nude,pictures,stolen,hackers,4chan,website, threats,The group of ruthless iCloud hackers who have already distributed stolen nude pictures of Jennifer Lawrence, Rihanna, Kim Kardashian and Vanessa Hudgens are are now sharpening their keystrokes and going after Emma Watson.

According to a report in today’s Daily Telegraph Emma is now facing threats from a 4Chan user who has created a web site with a countdown clock which implies that he will release her naked photographs in three days time.

The web site has a picture of Emma, the 4chan logo and a message which reads, “Never forget, the biggest to come thus far.”

From what I’ve heard Emma’s naked pictures show pretty much everything from nipples to .. (wait until I finish the sentence before slapping me) but Emma has responded by telling her Twitter followers;

“Even worse than seeing women’s privacy violated on social media is reading the accompanying comments that show such a lack of empathy.”

I’ve have to agree. Naked pictures live forever on the Internet and so does everything said on social media. When Emma’s magnificent lady patches start making the rounds these comments are going to haunt her dreams forever and a day. That’s not fair.

What Emma should do now is to divert the world’s attention by posing naked for Playboy. No wait, Emma Watson’s body is a work of art so she should pose only for the most artistic of publications. I should’ve said for NMi.

Jasmine Tridevil-bosoms-three-breasts-operation-tits-boobs-cleavage-plastic surgery-video-pictures Believe it or not a 21 year-old masseuse from Florida is claiming that she’s spent more than £15,000 on getting a third breast grafted on to her chest. Jasmine Tridevil says that she had to plead with more than 50 doctors before one of them would agree to perform the outlandish surgery.

If this is some kind of reverse psychology to make me like her then it’s not working, I’m never going to look at a chicken Kiev the same way again. I only hope that Jasmine has kept her receipt because it seems hard to believe that anyone could make bouncy things look this grotesque.

I mean seriously, what’s the point? Who are they for? Oh what the hell, these boobs can’t be real. I bet the doctor just put her under and then punched her in the chest a few times.


Obviously Jasmine Tridevil is not the lady’s real name but just to prove that any dumb fool and their money can soon parted she’s paying a film crew to follow her around in the hope of shooting to stardom.

She said in an interview:

“It was really hard finding someone that would do it because they’re breaking the code of ethics.

I called like 50 or 60 doctors, nobody wanted to do it. The doc who did it made me sign a non-disclosure agreement as he was scared that he’d get in trouble.

My whole dream is to now get this show on MTV. I’m dumping every penny I have into this.

If this doesn’t work, I’m through.”

No, that doesn’t sound good, not good at all. Now that the doctor’s are done with her stupid ass Jasmine needs to get herself some mental help. She really really really needs to get her head fixed, swallow some jelly or something then she’ll feel better and run away from this freaky shit forever.

But don’t take my word on it, just watch this super sassy mess below.

Shane Richie-Eastenders-kissing-mystery blonde-caught-cheating-married-Christie GoddardStop me if you’ve heard this one before – a famous male soap star has been caught mouth-to-mouthing on an anonymous blonde but they’re both married to other people.

In a move that’s so typical it borders on cliché, Shane Richie, aka Alfie Moon in Eastenders was photographed kissing a mystery woman outside the Park Lane hotel in London. The incident apparently happened on September 9 during the TV Choice Awards.  (The Sun have the photos.)

We all know that the smoking area outside a hotel isn’t just for dropping butts on the ground, it’s also for touching knickers on the mound (oh god NO, I shouldn’t have said that.) A source, who witnessed the sordid scene has told the Sun what she saw.

“They were giggling and chatting for around 20 minutes and as they headed back inside Shane stopped the woman and put his arm around her waist.

 She ran her fingers up and down his chest and then slide them inside his shirt. She then ran her fingers through his hair and stroked his head.

 She wrapped an arm around him too and he leaned in to kiss her passionately on the lips twice before they finally broke away from each other.”

Come on now Sun source, you’ve got to try harder than that. You’re sounding like a paragraph from Fifty Shades of Grey!

Anyway, this isn’t the first time Shane has found himself at the top of a tabloid’s column of shame, he has a history of unfaithful behaviour. When he was married to TV presenter Coleen Nolan he admitted to having an affair with Alison Hall, the manager of his fan club.

So, what does slutty Shane do now? Seriously what does he say to his wife of seven years, Christie Goddard?

I think Shane should now issue a statement of apology. That’s it! Shane should get the BBC to issue an official statement on his behalf because nothing says sorry like a statement saying that you’re mortified by your own behaviour. It’s the triple dare of ‘mea culpas’.

Yes, be mortified by your own behaviour Shane, it’s like a Get Out of Jail Free Card with the flesh of the deceased still stuck to your scissors.

Jennifer Lopez-Twerking-music video-Booty-Iggy Azelea-reviewHere’s Jennifer Lopez, surely the freshest of all the flowers picked from heaven’s most beautiful of gardens. Seen here in her latest music video, Booty ft. Iggy Azalea, J-Lo twerks and grinds her bits around like she was humping her way to an early hip replacement.

And if you didn’t think it possible for the reincarnation of Linda Lovelace to serve you more ass muddling moments than Deep Throat ever did then these four minutes of grandma grindbotting will change your mind forever. The Internet can now be charged with sending this peep show around the world and in doing so it will teach our young impressionable daughters how bad ass sexiness is really done.

I guess that every so often a lady has the right to pull up her dress and give everyone an eyeful of her ‘hctans’ as she twerdles it at anything that moves but when I first watched the video I barely noticed JLo’s petals of purity humping the air like they were the embodiment of a feminist icon. No, I was concentrating more on the philosophical mosaic of heterogeneous lyrics that grace this musical masterpiece. (that’s a lie right there)

I’m sure that when the world’s parents see this soft porn super show they’ll immediately shuffle their daughters off to the nearest convent before Jennifer’s rampant camel toe can devour all their innocence.

But seriously, you’d think that a world that’s brought us such graceful examples of demure womanhood as Miley Cyrus and Rihanna would appreciate another middle-aged hoebagel showing off her felted mound in a skimpy leotard. But it hasn’t. After seeing Jennifer popping her parts like a deranged duck with a hot curling tongue up it’s bum the parental voices of social media have issued their verdict. It’s a resounding NOOOooooooo!

You should not expose yourself to this flip flop of mess but if you do insist on seeing it for yourself then JLo’s performance is below. May your God have mercy on your soul. (thankyouverymuch).

SCOTLAND: Why The YES Campaign Really Failed.

September 19, 2014 Entertainment

I know this isn’t exactly BREAKING NEWS this morning but for all you die-hard Scottish independence fans out there who are wondering what caused the YES campaign to go so very wrong last night, well it’s all because of this man here: Name: Ross Somethingorother Birthday: 1989 Age: 26 Claim to Fame: Ross is the #1 male Barbie […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for ROYALS: Prince Harry, Cressida Bonas and Sex Tape.

ROYALS: Prince Harry, Cressida Bonas and Sex Tape.

September 18, 2014 Entertainment

Cressida Bonas (which is a skin condition in Japan) and Prince Harry made a public appearance together last night when they went to the cinema to watch a film called Sex Tape. There, Prince Harry, Cressida Bonas and Sex Tape all in the same sentence. The search engines are gonna love this. Anyway, Prince Harry […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Oh Dear Another Photoshop Fail From Beyonce.

Oh Dear Another Photoshop Fail From Beyonce.

September 17, 2014 Entertainment

If you stumbled into Beyonce’s bedroom you might catch her eating a hedgehog or telling a giant glow worm that it will feel nothing when she stabs it with a painted talon. Seriously, this woman is madder than a Madagascan monkey and if she thinks that she can hoodwink every smart-ass on the Internet into believing that those thighs […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for The Peoples Of Facebook Rather Like Alex Salmond.

The Peoples Of Facebook Rather Like Alex Salmond.

September 17, 2014 Social Media

Over the last few weeks more than 10million people have talked about the Scottish referendum on Facebook, research has found. So, Facebook have decided to add an “I’m a voter” button on the news feeds of all those who are eligible to vote in tomorrows referendum. Elizabeth Linder, Facebook’s big boss for politics and government issues in Europe said: “In just […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Yes Of Course The Average Property Price In London Is Over £500,000.

Yes Of Course The Average Property Price In London Is Over £500,000.

September 17, 2014 Property & Mortgages

After learning that the cost of a typical home in London is £514,000, first time buyers are probably crying their eyes out and shaking their fists at the moon. A market being pushed to the brink of madness by opulence, financial freedom and luxury is fine for the privileged few but for a first time buyer looking to settle in London then […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Video: Watch A Beautiful Butterfly Dance to Music.

Video: Watch A Beautiful Butterfly Dance to Music.

September 17, 2014 Entertainment

For young musicians an international music competition can prove a rumble tumble battle full of nail-biting moments. This proved the case for Japanese flutist Yukie Ota last weekend when she encountered an unusual distraction while performing in the highly competitive Carl Nielsen International Flute Competition in Denmark. In the clip below, you will see a glorious butterfly […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Stupid Baby Names by Katie Price.

Stupid Baby Names by Katie Price.

September 16, 2014 Entertainment

Katie Price’s new baby daughter has officially been named as BUNNY HAYLER and this picture on the cover of OK Magazine shows the paralysed look of a baby who’s just learned that it’s entire life will be tainted by the sound of it’s own name. I sincerely hope for this child’s sake that someone can invent time travel within the next […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Columbia’s Cycling Team – A Tragedy From Head To Camel Toe.

Columbia’s Cycling Team – A Tragedy From Head To Camel Toe.

September 15, 2014 Entertainment

This is how a headline and the picture can tell the reader everything they need to know about the story. And yes, when you’re featuring the Columbian ladies cycling team you know it’s a slow news day. This ladies cycling outfit is probably the nearest Columbia will get to a weapon of mass destruction. Nowhere is safe. […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Coronation Street’s Jack P. Shepherd Tweets Hot Dog Joke, Says Sorry.

Coronation Street’s Jack P. Shepherd Tweets Hot Dog Joke, Says Sorry.

September 14, 2014 Entertainment

There’s nothing like a heartwarming tweet to spoil our appetite for fast food. Hot dogs in particular. Jack P Shepherd, who plays David Platt in Coronation Street, discovered this when he shook his Twitter fans out of their backsides by tweeting  jokes about the Manchester Dogs’ Home fire. The actor tweeted: “I have a million “hot dog” jokes” and “You guys need […]

Keep reading