Welcome to another slow-ass news day where nothing is going on except for a bunch of lawyers acting for Tottenham Hotspur footballer, Kyle Walker.
It has been almost 72 hours since amateur video footage showing a dog and a filthy harlot going at it hammer and tongue first made it’s debut on Twitter. The tape was filmed by a man who’s face cannot be seen, but his voice can be heard.
When the trolling trollops of Twitter saw the tape it took them just 5 minutes to attribute (falsely) the man’s voice to Kyle Walker.
When Kyle Walker heard about the tape it took him just 2 hours to deny that the awful video, which showed the dog suckling on the filthy harlot’s lady parts, had anything to do with him.
Kyle took to his Facebook and had this to say:
‘I wasn’t going to comment on the rumours going around myself and my family but as people are still talking about them, I feel I need to set the record straight.
‘I am aware of a video being shared on social media and am disgusted by the suggestion that it’s anything to do with us.
‘With so many young people on social media I am horrified that content of that nature has been shared so many times.
‘My legal team are monitoring the activity surrounding this.’
Obviously, nothing ever disappears from the Internet as quickly as a footballer’s good name and reputation. So Kyle Walker is now consulting with lawyers and may ultimately seek a temporary restraining order against Twitter to force them to remove this awful video from the timelines.
According To MailOnline, Kyle Walker’s lawyers are also muscling up against any sites that are hosting the tape and are determined to go to any lengths to ensure nobody watches it ever again. And it’s been reported that they’re prepared to do the same to all those twattering trolls on Twitter who have taken Kyle Walker’s name in vain.
I don’t know, is going after the trolls with a combination of dark threats and laughable lawsuits going to make any difference? After all, Tory peer Lord McAlpine tried kicking the shit out of the trolls ala Schilling style but it didn’t stop them moving on to pastures new.
Once again I’m left wondering why these lawyers bother. Sure it’s lamentable that a percentage of social media users are pigs. I hate that you can’t do everything in the social media world in a safe and sane environment.
And yes, wouldn’t it be nice if you could feed your ego by becoming the next social media super star who only posts about wholesome things and has people responding positively. Y’know, with lots of Likes and LOLs and thumbs up.
Grow the fuck up lawyers. You can’t repair the cracks in the digital world with empty threats of legal action.
If you really want to be free of Twitter trolls, then get them off social media altogether. Talk to Twitter Inc. This is their job.
You’re a 50 year-old legal firm with some decent residuals piled up. You might have time to take a few weeks off chasing down the trolls but it’s not surrender to move on to more productive pursuits. Clients don’t give you pay cheques for winning pointless battles.
And please, don’t think that getting five trolls suspended off Twitter is going to save the world. Your idle threats are a complete waste of time.