While serving up his annual “Christmas in Barbados” pictures, Simon Cowell went for an old-fashioned paparazzi stroll down the beach. He took his two dogs, Squiddly and Diddly, his gold digging fiancee, Lauren Silverman and the ball of crestfallen we know as Sinitta.
What a mess.
I’m sure Lauren has told Sinitta a million times that she isn’t about to make room for an ex-lover’s shit in her closet. Go away! You’re an ex-girlfriend. No longer relevant, leave us alone!
Poor Sinitta. This Christmas her soul will be crushed every day as the gossip columns fill with pictures of Lauren and Simon walking the beaches of Barbados. Oh Sinitta just audition for X-Factor, you might hear a YES from Simon then. Then again, no, you probably wont.
Personally, I think Simon should bend Lauren and Sinitta over the bar at the Sandy Lane Hotel. Two twats and a crazy – the formula for success!
Oh, I nearly forgot. Top marks to Jenny Manning over at the Sun this morning. She opened her article about Simon and Lauren walking the beach with this;
“LIFE’S a beach if you are one of Simon Cowell’s dogs.”
(via the Sun)
Can’t think what she meant by that.