As any self respecting man will tell you it doesn’t matter where you are in life, as long as you’re not the biggest pussy in the room. The biggest pussy in the room always gets singled out by the mob and then consumed.
So, look around the room now and if you’re the one then take a leaf out of Justin Bieber book, ‘Hard is As Hard Does’ and get the hell out.
Yes, Justin Bieber is really hard. I mean really really hard. It doesn’t matter to him that a pair of XXS Y-fronts are still too big for his baby body because he’s a tough little toddler – especially when he’s hiding behind his Instagram.
Following an altercation with Orlando Bloom in a Spanish night club yesterday we saw how Justin-the-Hard took to his Instagram and threw a dollop of pubescent petulance at Orlando. Today we see that his courage for taking Insta-swings at grown ups knows no bounds after he posted this picture (below) of Orlando apparently in tears.
What Justin is trying to say here is that Orlando’s tears are the tears of shame. Shame at being out-harded by Justin, the hardest of all hardies.
As if. The real reason Orlando is in tears is because he had the chance to punch Canada’s favourite hoodrat in the face and he failed. He failed himself and he failed the world. How do you live with yourself after that?
Y’know, just thinking about Justin Bieber is making it really hard to type and talk shit. That’s right, I’m the biggest pussy in the room.