Every woman should experience the magic, wonder and satisfaction of a tsunami in the pants.
In a WORLD EXCLUSIVE reported by Dan Wooton over at The Sun Katie is about to return to the music business. According to Dan Katie intends to release a single real soon and has hired a voice coach to install auto-tune over her vocal cords to stop her sounding like a tone-deaf cat on helium.
Lets hear from Dan’s source:
“Katie feels she has unfinished business with singing. It’s always been a big passion of hers and it’ll be a dream to see any of her music become a top-ten hit.
She’s doing it for fun at first but if she gets good feedback, there’s scope for releasing another record.
Katie hopes sessions with her new voice coach will not only improve her singing but give her extra confidence should she perform on stage.”
(via The Sun)
I pulled this hilarious mess (below) from YouTube. It was made back in 2009 and it shows Katie singing “A Whole New World” with Peter Andre. I don’t know if they both had messy, sloppy, drunken karaoke sex in the bathroom before coming onstage, but I do know that whenever Katie sings she sounds like a whale dying a slow, painful death while dropping to the bottom of the ocean.
Proof that nightmares exist when you’re awake.
The Daily Star says that White Dee, real name Deirdre Kelly is “actively considering” becoming a politician.
The Star’s source says that the 43-year-old from Birmingham has met with political advisers and talked about running for the Birmingham Ladywood seat at next year’s election. White Dee is so serious about this that she’s even thinking of starting her own political party in order to achieve her dream. The Daily Mail have kept their mouths shut about this, which means it’s probably true. White Dee has until next February to throw her hat into the ring.
“I’ve thought about standing as an MP, it’s a subject I’m really interested in.
When you’ve got MPs saying they consider you as ‘too common’ to stand, I think they would be shocked, because the more common you are, the more in touch you are with real people in the country.
I can’t say I would stand for a current party – I would create my own one.”
Unbelievably the bookies also think that Dee has a decent chance of winning herself a seat in the parliament of all parliaments. Ladbrokes have her at 33/1 to win the Birmingham Ladywood seat at next year’s election and BetFair have her at 250/1 to enter Downing Street as Prime Minister at some point in the future.
Although Dee didn’t win Celebrity Big Brother I really hope she can break her losing streak and win that seat in the House, because she’ll probably blurt out all her benefits claims right there in front of the Speaker. David Cameron and George Osbourne won’t be able to resist her and the conscience they didn’t know they had will start to shake in a thousand different ways. They’ll resign and become instant Job Seekers.
Besides, Dee has everything it takes to be a politician. She has no political experience so it would only a matter of time before we’d get to see pictures of her showing off her baked nipples to some dodgy journalist on Skype. Yes, she’ll make the perfect politician. Swear her in!