Jasmine Tridevil-bosoms-three-breasts-operation-tits-boobs-cleavage-plastic surgery-video-pictures Believe it or not a 21 year-old masseuse from Florida is claiming that she’s spent more than £15,000 on getting a third breast grafted on to her chest. Jasmine Tridevil says that she had to plead with more than 50 doctors before one of them would agree to perform the outlandish surgery.

If this is some kind of reverse psychology to make me like her then it’s not working, I’m never going to look at a Chicken Kiev the same way again. I only hope that Jasmine has kept her receipt because it seems hard to believe that they can make bouncy things look this grotesque.

I mean seriously, whats the point? Who are they for? Oh what the hell, these boobs can’t be real. I bet the doctor just put her under and then punched her in the chest a few times.


Obviously Jasmine Tridevil is not the lady’s real name but just to prove that any dumb fool and their money can soon parted she’s paying a film crew to follow her around in the hope of shooting to stardom.

She said in an interview:

“It was really hard finding someone that would do it because they’re breaking the code of ethics.

I called like 50 or 60 doctors, nobody wanted to do it. The doc who did it made me sign a non-disclosure agreement as he was scared that he’d get in trouble.

My whole dream is to now get this show on MTV. I’m dumping every penny I have into this.

If this doesn’t work, I’m through.”

No, that doesn’t sound good, not good at all. Now that the doctor’s are done with her stupid ass Jasmine needs to get herself some mental help. She really really really needs to get her head fixed, swallow some jelly or something then she’ll feel better and run away from this freaky shit forever.

But don’t take my word on it, just watch this super sassy mess below.

Shane Richie-Eastenders-kissing-mystery blonde-caught-cheating-married-Christie GoddardStop me if you’ve heard this one before – a famous male soap star has been caught mouth-to-mouthing on an anonymous blonde but they’re both married to other people.

In a move that’s so typical it borders on cliché, Shane Richie, aka Alfie Moon in Eastenders was photographed kissing a mystery woman outside the Park Lane hotel in London. The incident apparently happened on September 9 during the TV Choice Awards.  (The Sun have the photos.)

We all know that the smoking area outside a hotel isn’t just for dropping butts on the ground, it’s also for touching knickers on the mound (oh god NO, I shouldn’t have said that.) A source, who witnessed the sordid scene has told the Sun what she saw.

“They were giggling and chatting for around 20 minutes and as they headed back inside Shane stopped the woman and put his arm around her waist.

 She ran her fingers up and down his chest and then slide them inside his shirt. She then ran her fingers through his hair and stroked his head.

 She wrapped an arm around him too and he leaned in to kiss her passionately on the lips twice before they finally broke away from each other.”

Come on now Sun source, you’ve got to try harder than that. You’re sounding like a paragraph from Fifty Shades of Grey!

Anyway, this isn’t the first time Shane has found himself at the top of a tabloid’s column of shame, he has a history of unfaithful behaviour. When he was married to TV presenter Coleen Nolan he admitted to having an affair with Alison Hall, the manager of his fan club.

So, what does slutty Shane do now? Seriously what does he say to his wife of seven years, Christie Goddard?

I think Shane should now issue a statement of apology. That’s it! Shane should get the BBC to issue an official statement on his behalf because nothing says sorry like a statement saying that you’re mortified by your own behaviour. It’s the triple dare of ‘mea culpas’.

Yes, be mortified by your own behaviour Shane, it’s like a Get Out of Jail Free Card with the flesh of the deceased still stuck to your scissors.

Jennifer Lopez-Twerking-music video-Booty-Iggy Azelea-reviewHere’s Jennifer Lopez, surely the freshest of all the flowers picked from heaven’s most beautiful of gardens. Seen here in her latest music video, Booty ft. Iggy Azalea, J-Lo twerks and grinds her bits around like she was humping her way to an early hip replacement.

And if you didn’t think it possible for the reincarnation of Linda Lovelace to serve you more ass muddling moments than Deep Throat ever did then these four minutes of grandma grindbotting will change your mind forever. The Internet can now be charged with sending this peep show around the world and in doing so it will teach our young impressionable daughters how bad ass sexiness is really done.

I guess that every so often a lady has the right to pull up her dress and give everyone an eyeful of her ‘hctans’ as she twerdles it at anything that moves but when I first watched the video I barely noticed JLo’s petals of purity humping the air like they were the embodiment of a feminist icon. No, I was concentrating more on the philosophical mosaic of heterogeneous lyrics that grace this musical masterpiece. (that’s a lie right there)

I’m sure that when the world’s parents see this soft porn super show they’ll immediately shuffle their daughters off to the nearest convent before Jennifer’s rampant camel toe can devour all their innocence.

But seriously, you’d think that a world that’s brought us such graceful examples of demure womanhood as Miley Cyrus and Rihanna would appreciate another middle-aged hoebagel showing off her felted mound in a skimpy leotard. But it hasn’t. After seeing Jennifer popping her parts like a deranged duck with a hot curling tongue up it’s bum the parental voices of social media have issued their verdict. It’s a resounding NOOOooooooo!

You should not expose yourself to this flip flop of mess but if you do insist on seeing it for yourself then JLo’s performance is below. May your God have mercy on your soul. (thankyouverymuch).

SCOTLAND: Why The YES Campaign Really Failed.

by Mike D.W on September 19, 2014

in Entertainment

Scottish referendum - #indyref-Barbie-Bank notes-currency-vote-fail-Barbie-Ross-Alex Salmond-scotlandI know this isn’t exactly BREAKING NEWS this morning but for all you die-hard Scottish independence fans out there who are wondering what caused the YES campaign to go so very wrong last night, well it’s all because of this man here:

Name: Ross Somethingorother
Birthday: 1989
Age: 26
Claim to Fame: Ross is the #1 male Barbie in Scotland. Ross believes that you can never be too orange, you can never wear enough makeup and your kilt can never be too short.

Had Scotland voted to leave the union last night then Ross’s organic orange face was going feature on the back of a new Scottish ten pound note. Yes, Scotland would have had it’s own money that the Scots could have spent in the shops just like real money.

An independent Scottish government were going to put a “president” face on the front their note and naturally that president’s face would have been Alex Salmond’s.

Well, here’s where things went a bit wrong. On the back of the notes the original idea was to have a man running away with an oil drum but then someone thought it might be a better having the face of that handsome gent in the sassy tie you see above.

Had Ross appeared before the BBC cameras standing back to back with Alex Salmond then they’d have looked like that bank note and the YES vote would surely have prevailed.

But where was Ross last night when Scotland really needed him? Ross was either doing himself with a bronzer stick or at the doctors being treated for foundation poisoning.

Wherever he was, Ross punished Scotland last night by not appearing with Alex Salmond to rally the Scottish into voting YEEEEES!

(and yes of course I made this nonsense up)

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