By now you’ll all have heard about Harrison Ford and how he cheated death yesterday after the vintage plane he was flying fell out of the sky and crash landed on a golf course.
Nobody on the ground was hurt, or if they were they weren’t famous so it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that Harrison Ford is still alive and unhurt.
I first heard the news on TalkSport radio this morning. I woke up to hear someone making a joke about golf courses and crashing planes. They were saying that if you were going to crash your plane then you should crash it on a golf course because that’s where all the NHS doctors are.
So if you’re a lazy doctor playing golf on NHS time, then fuck you. I’m crashing my World War II plane in your face.
As you know, my job is to sit here, drink tea and ‘funnytate’ on the lives of those that live in the glittery world of show business. Plane crashes just don’t do it. I mean, WTF is funny about Harrison Ford crashing his plane? Nothing.
And yet this plane crash is different. We have Harrison Ford and we have Star Wars. So yes, lets try and be funny by filling the rest of our 300 word quota with Star Wars.
There’s no geek like a Star Wars geek. I think it might be their sheer size in numbers that puts them on top of the internet’s smelly heap of whinging trolls.
If you’re a Star Wars geek then your entire nervous system seems to depend on how you interpret the Star Wars universe. It’s like some kind of biblical orthodoxy.
So what will they make of this. They’ll wring every possible percent out of this plane crash. They’ll say that the head Jedi has secretly announced that Han Solo has crashed and burned. Then they’ll start a ponder wander around the globe as to why Chewy didn’t engage hyperspace and save the day.
I mean, what do these fictitious characters actually do when they’re not overthrowing Empires anyway? The Star Wars geeks will have you believe that in a world where everyday problems are so well-defined these characters just aren’t normal. They are different in every way.
I guess that’s the interesting part about a Jedi’s life. The everyday stuff. However, the Star Wars movies never really explain what would happen if Luke Skywalker forgot his wedding anniversary, or if Han Solo and Chewbacca opened a Vietnamese restaurant.
That kind of wrecks the whole Star Wars franchise for me because I really want to know.
There. Quota filled.