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Gay Marriage Referendum Ireland.

Gay Marriage,Ireland, newsmediaimages.com

A word on Gay Marriage: For as long as there have been gay people there have been those who have tried to tear down their right to get married and live happily ever after.

Is it because these anti gay people inherently oppose gay marriage or do they just think that gay people are too tall, too young and too sexually adventurous to be tied down by a institution as important as marriage.

Take that idiot Jeremy Irons for example. Back in 2013, the HuffPo asked him for his opinion on gay marriage and he spluttered out some nasty nonsense about how gay marriage shouldn’t be allowed, because it’ll lead to fathers marrying their sons for tax purposes. That is one dick-brained stupid thing to say!

Those words must have made Coleen Nolan curse Jeremy Irons’ name, because she was planning to marry Janet Street-Porter.

However, Jeremy’s no stranger to nasty talk, in fact he’s rather good at it. A few years ago he said that children under 16 are “immensely attractive” and the “hysteria” over pedophilia is ruining relationships between parents and their kids.

Words fail me.

If you’re already married, you’ll understand how badly you wanted to express your undying love for your partner with the ritual of marriage. So why should anyone refuse gay men and women the right to do the same thing. After all how can anyone even begin to assess the cost of not being married? Inestimable.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, may I mention something that’s very important to the LGBT community in Ireland. Today Ireland are having a referendum. The question being posed to the Irish people is this. Should their country allow gay marriage?

Naturally enough the Catholic Church in Ireland are against gay marriage. They say it’s a sin, unnatural, detrimental and ultimately destructive to the foundations of civilization.

I want to tell the Catholic Church that they sound like a backside full of haemorrhoids. I think religious people can be ridiculous at times, but the fact is the Catholic Church was asked for it’s opinion and they gave it. And that’s fine. They should be allowed to say whatever they like.

My problem is that every argument the church puts forward (against gay marriage) it always comes down to the same thing, “well God said no.”

I don’t see why we should be forced to obey the rules given to the Catholic Church by the voices in their heads. If kneeling down on a pew and praying to a crucifix gives them comfort and peace, that’s between them and their magic symbols. Leave the truly enlightened people out of it.

The other day I made it clear just how gay friendly I am when I said that I have gay rights coming out of my ass. As it turns out I’m not gay. However,  I believe very strongly in equality for all people.

You can guess which way I think the people of Ireland should vote.

 And Sean Lock, Jimmy Carr, Rich Hall, Russell Kane, Rob Beckett and Jack Dee agree. Vote YES Ireland.

Katie Hopkins: Bitch Went Bland.

Katie Hopkins,Bland,Newsmediaimages.com

Twitter, social media’s floating balloon of truth and integrity has clearly told Katie Hopkins that she’s a lying manipulative murderous psychopath and she should crawl back to her cave and start knitting us all some socks. Or something.

At least I think that’s what’s happened. Reading her column in The Sun newspaper today the bitch just went bland. I think the editor must have been giving her compliance training with a stick and a whistle. Her nightmarish rantings, once so profound that they altered DNA, have gone.

On Thursday night Katie’s Twitter promised the LGBT community that they’d be getting a shit load of flack today, a conservative middle finger straight up their collective asses. What they got wasn’t exactly the Russians moving into Brighton, or a warning that transgenders had better watch out for the second coming of Jesus.

No, what the LGBTs got instead was a boring politically correct tumble into a PR love affair with pinkie perks. Bland.

No fun to be had there then.

Katie Hopkins has also raised the subject of ‘The News.’ She says that her girlfriends all “refuse to listen to the news any more because it makes them feel the world is in a dark and difficult place.” She also takes a swipe at BBC News 24 and their obsession with the weather forecast. She’s right, down our throats it goes every half an hour. Over and over and over.

(OMG, I actually find myself in agreement with Katie Hopkins over something!!)

Anyway, by the time I got to the end of Katie’s column I was half asleep. Bored.

 So, now what?

I can’t believe that the decision to stop being a vindictive vile asshole was Katie’s alone. The ageing matriarch of malcontent clearly had help. The Sun’s editor must have established a multi-inclusive understanding fund. Connect the dots, it’s the only explanation.

There are now only two ways for Katie Hopkins to remain contextually relevant – dance naked with Theresa May while shooting a Nazi porn film or feign regret in a police mugshot.

Everything else is a failed artistic interpretation.

Billie Faiers: Morning Model.

Billie Faiers, morning model,newsmediaimages.com

All I know about Billie Faiers is that she’s a reality star from Essex. So I went on Google and it said she’s a ‘light in the atmosphere caused by a meteor falling towards the Earth.’

It’s possible I was actually reading the entry for “shooting star” but then I went back to staring at her cleavage and didn’t really care anymore.

Billie Faiers first came to fame when she starred in The Only Way is Essex, a reality TV show about self-fertilizing arthropods with anxiety disorders who feed on fried food.

Towie now owns or rents most of Essex’s best looking women under 25. They all have the same characteristics, hair color, measurements, spare tampons and a willingness to work without their clothes on for 24 hours without a break.

It’s hard to know what’s real about girls from Essex. These ambitious but untalented girls who sell their souls to reality TV tend to blur the lines between fact and fiction. Who knows if Billie Faiers is actually married. Might be made up. Maybe she’s skint, maybe she’s got a million stuffed down her bra. It’s all smoke and mirrors. And cleavage.

There’s only one thing you can count on, Billie is super hot. You can’t fake that.

Ranker.com says that Billie Faiers is also a model. That’s because they decide who gets to be called a model and that her cleavage makes her eligible for that accolade. Why? Because she’s from Essex, that’s why!

Girls from Essex deserve to be on the same page as Elizabeth Hurley and Kelly Brook.

Phone hacking – Celebrity Compensation.

Phone Hacking,Compensation,newsmediaimages.com

Phone hacking. I have read. And I will read again.

Everyone at Mirror Group Newspapers is now in a collective fluster flap. An intoxicated muddle of magnificent magnitude. Half of them are paddling up to their knees in photos of exposed celebrity breasts, while the other half are penning protestations of repent for the Huffington Post. Yes, that’s right the big phone hacking story just got bigger.

In London’s High Court earlier today a bunch of quasi-famous people were awarded a combined total of £1.2million because their privacy was once (or twice) invaded by Mirror Group Newspapers. In other words MGN’s penchant for hacking celebrity phones just cost them a junior bankers annual bonus.

In court Mr Justice Mann determined the extent of the sinful wrongdoing and then decided on the individual levels of compensation to be awarded to each of the 8 claimants. See list below.

Paul Gascoigne – £188,250

Sadie Frost – £260,250.

Shane Richie – £155,000.

Lucy Taggart – £157,250.

Shobna Gulati – £117,500.

Alan Yentob – £85,000.

Lauren Alcorn, who had a (relationship with Rio Ferdinand) – £72,500.

Robert Ashworth, (married to Tracy Shaw) – £201,250.

In the Mediterranean we have the boat people, in Syria we have a 21st century Holocaust, in Fleet Street we have the hacking of celebrity phones. I guess it was MGN’s way of giving us the one thing the rest of the world has not provided. Perspective. [click to continue…]

Jeremy Clarkson: BBC – Dreadful People.

Jeremy Clarkson,Newsmediaimages.com

Jeremy Clarkson has not got a masters degree in diplomacy nor is he expected to lecture a university class on public relations any time soon. Which is a surprise to nobody.

After publicly saying that the BBC sucked, Jeremy Clarkson has gone on their Radio 2 station and told Chris Evans that there are some ‘dreadful’ people working at the BBC but admitted the fracas which led to ‘aunties’ directors sacking his dumb ass was his entirely his ‘own silly fault’.

Whatever Jeremy. Your entire life is your own silly fault.

The directors of the BBC directors aren’t dreadful people. They don’t actually hire and fire people for no good reason. The producers hire everyone and then you Jeremy hit one of them in the face. [click to continue…]

Cliff Richard Selling Berkshire Home.

Cliff Richard, Allegations,Newsmediaimages.com

A few months ago a series of mega trending articles were published which documented the story of an horrific sex attack on a teenage boy at a Christian rally in Sheffield almost thirty years before. The articles all focused on Sir Cliff Richard and how Thames Valley police had raided his home in Berkshire.

The alleged victim himself made no public comment on the cold, calculated, and brutal events that apparently took place at the rally. The story fit so perfectly into the current culture of reporting rapes on kids committed by mega star celebrities, now drawing their pensions.

The Cliff Richard story quickly went viral, around the net, the country and all across the world. On it’s travels it unmercifully smeared the reputation of one of the most revered pop stars of our time.

Except, yeah, what if the man at the centre of the story has lied?

Fleet Street would have to issue an apology right?

It wouldn’t be the kind of apology they traditionally make. Like, sorry for calling you a rapist in a 12-page blowout article in which we forgot to check the single most important fact. Like, have you been charged with an offence!

No, it’d be more, sorry we tried our best but this man just lied, so that’s good, it’s not really our fault. [click to continue…]