Oh Dear Another Photoshop Fail From Beyonce.

by Mike D.W on September 17, 2014

in Entertainment

Beyonce,photoshop,thighs,fail,funny,tumblr,picture,If you stumbled into Beyonce’s bedroom you might catch her eating a hedgehog or telling a giant glow worm that it will feel nothing when she stabs it with a painted talon.

Seriously, this woman is madder than a Madagascan monkey and if she thinks that she can hoodwink every smart-ass on the Internet into believing that those thighs are the real deal then her foolish trollopness knows no bounds.

In that picture (above) which Beyonce sent out to her fans via Tumblr earlier today, it’s supposed to show her super slim thighs. But it’s messed up. What it really shows is the horror of incompetence that lurks behind her inability to master Photoshop. I mean look at that step between her legs for example.

That being said if Beyonce wants to airbrush her thighs so badly that she looks like she’s been filtered with a gallon of distemper then that’s entirely up to her.

Yes, fill your boots honey, but seriously now those thighs look like they’ve been lipo’d with a rusty vacuum cleaner.


The Peoples Of Facebook Rather Like Alex Salmond.

by Social Shade on September 17, 2014

in Social Media

Alex Salmond,Scotland,referendum,social,media,campaign,beats,Alistair Darling,yes,No,vote,Facebook,likes,interactions,Over the last few weeks more than 10million people have talked about the Scottish referendum on Facebook, research has found. So, Facebook have decided to add an “I’m a voter” button on the news feeds of all those who are eligible to vote in tomorrows referendum.

Elizabeth Linder, Facebook’s big boss for politics and government issues in Europe said:

“In just a month we’ve seen the referendum debate come to life on Facebook, with over 10m posts, comments and likes relating to the debate.

Studies show that when people see their Facebook friends talking about voting, they are more likely to vote themselves. We hope the ‘I’m a Voter’ button will make it easy for voters to share that they are taking part in the referendum at the end of months of debate and discussion.”

So far Alex Salmond has attracted more than 700,000 interactions but the leader of the Better Together campaign, Alistair Darling has only had 250,000.

After the referendum Alex has said that he’ll take a well earned break from social media. I wonder how long he’ll be able to go without liking pictures of people’s pets, scrolling through selfies and searching for hashtags like #doghumpglory? I mean can he do it? Possibly. Will he get withdrawal symptoms? Well, maybe.

If a man as selfie-obsessed as Alex Salmom can stop counting the “likes” on his smartphone and reading incoherent Facebook comments from the Lock Ness monster then anything’s possible for Scotland. Really, it is.


Property Prices,home,houses,prices,statistics,rises,

After learning that the cost of a typical home in London is £514,000, first time buyers are probably crying their eyes out and shaking their fists at the moon.

A market being pushed to the brink of madness by opulence, financial freedom and luxury is fine for the privileged few but for a first time buyer looking to settle in London then our glorious capital is a bridge too far.

Statistics published for July show that the cost of a typical home in London has risen by more than 19% over the last 12 months. If you look at this graph below from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) it shows that average house prices across the country have risen by some 11.7 % in the year to July. This means that nationally the average for a home has now reached £272,000.

house-price-graph-ukHowever, some are saying that the UK housing market is cooling off citing heavier stamp duty burdens and lack of new builds. Others say that people are just not able to find the money for their deposits, administration charges, solicitors fees and every other damn thing that the scallywags in the property business can think of charging us.

Richard Snook, a senior economist at PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC) said:

“We still expect UK house price growth for the year as a whole to come in within our projected range, around 6 to 10 per cent, but it’s currently on course to be towards the upper end of this.”

While the south east of England saw double digit rises London has seen the strongest growth in prices in the year to July according to the ONS. (see below)

House-price-gains-regions-ukMartin Beck, a senior adviser to an independent economic forecasting group, said that the data could cause some headaches for the Bank of England.

“The housing market continues to present a complication in what is otherwise a fairly benign environment for monetary policy”.

Figures produced by the Council of Mortgage Lenders show that the average first-time buyer has a salary of £51,500 and takes out a loan worth 84 per cent of the value of a property. Those loans were approximately 3.41 times their income. A typical deposit on the average home is £33,400.

According to research by the housing charity Shelter many parents are now having to help their adult children on to the property ladder. Typically they are handing over £23,000, which eats into the money they may have set aside for their retirement.

The research was published just 24 hours after the National Housing Federation claimed that home ownership was rapidly becoming an “exclusive members’ club”. They also said that today’s first-time buyer often needed a deposit equating to ten times that required in the 1980s.

Barclays Bank thinks that the strong increase in house prices serve to support their view that the Bank of England will increase interest rates sooner rather than later in a desperate effort to cool the market down. Well if that isn’t the gift of a dusty bag of peanuts lying on a discount shelf at Costco, then nothing is. All hail to the Bank of England.


Carl-Nielsen-Yukie-Ota-Flute-Competition-butterfly-videoFor young musicians an international music competition can prove a rumble tumble battle full of nail-biting moments. This proved the case for Japanese flutist Yukie Ota last weekend when she encountered an unusual distraction while performing in the highly competitive Carl Nielsen International Flute Competition in Denmark.

In the clip below, you will see a glorious butterfly landing in Yukie’s hair and then settling above her left eyebrow. As she continues to perform Yukie gives only a brief glance upward as the butterfly opens and closes its wings.

Luckily weird moments are right at home here on NMi, who have a habit of messing up every story we ever post, but this one is different. The moment I saw the butterfly fluttering it’s way around Twitter last night my black heart melted into a giant puddle of rainbows. I know, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

Sure, weed smoke messes with people’s emotions, but still.


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Stupid Baby Names by Katie Price.

September 16, 2014 Entertainment

Katie Price’s new baby daughter has officially been named as BUNNY HAYLER and this picture on the cover of OK Magazine shows the paralysed look of a baby who’s just learned that it’s entire life will be tainted by the sound of it’s own name. I sincerely hope for this child’s sake that someone can invent time travel within the next […]

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September 14, 2014 Entertainment

There’s nothing like a heartwarming tweet to spoil our appetite for fast food. Hot dogs in particular. Jack P Shepherd, who plays David Platt in Coronation Street, discovered this when he shook his Twitter fans out of their backsides by tweeting  jokes about the Manchester Dogs’ Home fire. The actor tweeted: “I have a million “hot dog” jokes” and “You guys need […]

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September 13, 2014 Entertainment

According to the Sun newspaper today a sex tape starring the man with the most punchable face in Britain is up for sale and he’s trying really hard to keep it from scorching our eyeballs. The tabloid insists that in the tape Tumble judge Louis Smith is seen stripping off, talking sexy and performing an unmentionable act on himself. Dan Wooton […]

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September 12, 2014 Entertainment

Tonight the angels are going to hear Anita Dobson singing Anyone Can Fall In Love because all the papers are saying that today another veteran of the soap opera, John Bardon has followed Sir Donald Sinden and the Reverend Ian Paisley up to heaven. John suffered a massive stroke seven years ago which left him needing round the […]

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September 12, 2014 Entertainment

The Reverend Ian Paisley, who had a history of double double toil and trouble fire burn and cauldron bubble, travelled up the great orange box in the sky this morning complaining of everything he could think of. A few hours later God told him that he was dead and to please STFU. Yes, the very Reverend Ian […]

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September 12, 2014 Entertainment

Weddings bring out the weepy-eyed fool in me, so I’m very happy that two rich and successful people have managed to find love. However the true majesty of endless love doesn’t always run as smoothly as planned. Take George Clooney and Amal Amamuddin for example. Yesterday a rumour surfaced in America which hot hinted that George Clooney […]

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September 12, 2014 Entertainment

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It’s been a tough month or so for writing “Rest in Peace” articles. It’s been like an all-you-can-weep buffet. Some of theatres’ finest have floated up to entertainment heaven this last month – Rik Mayall, Sir Richard Attenborough and Robin Williams. Well, I’m sorry to say it but this post is going to hit you straight in the feels again […]

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