Welcome to another slow-ass news day where nothing is going on in the sad and scandalous world of celebrity gossip.
In fact it’s been so calm and peaceful without the sound of Z-Listers incessantly shrieking their woes in the Daily Mail that I’m beginning to think that a judge may have ordered them all to take their meds and cool their throbbing tongues off in a bowl of iced vodka.
Take Mel B for example. Ever since the gossip columns began wallpapering their fronts with her marital problems Melanie has kept pretty quiet. Perhaps she’s re-charging her crazy and waiting for the New Year. Then she’ll go for it.
Yes, maybe 2015 is the year that Melanie tells us that she doesn’t want to be married anymore, she’s moved to Florida, picked up another trick, married that trick and she’ll keep doing it over and over again until she’s got more ex-husbands than she has shitty tattoos.
Maybe 2015 is when all the birds singing in the trees get drowned out by the sound of Mel and her husband ripping each other’s throats out while fighting over money in London’s High Court of Justice.
But y’know, the Daily Express are equally desperate for celebrity news today. So desperate in fact that they’ve had to drag an old story out of their archives. They’ve re-published the story about Mel’s mum, Andrea Brown and how she once accused Stephen Belafonte of scaring her grand-daughter with a gun.
Andrea originally made the allegation back in 2009 (in US court papers) when Mel and her ex Jimmy Gulzar were battling over the custody of their daughter Phoenix.
The tabloid reports Andrea as saying:
“Phoenix told me Stephen had a gun and that he had scared her with it. While at [Mel’s sister] Danielle’s house, Phoenix said that Stephen told her that when she is 16, he is going to throw her out of the house.
I was shocked at this time to hear Phoenix say she hated her stepfather Stephen and I dismissed this as a result of her having to share her mum with him and sister Angel.
Phoenix has never spoken like that about Mel’s previous partners.”
(Via: Daily Express)
If these two do divorce it’ll add another sad day to their salacious lives but I don’t think Mel will miss Stephen’s brick house head knocking against hers during missionary. And I don’t think he’ll miss the fear he feels whenever Mel smiles her glossy hamster teeth at his dick shaft.
And yes, it’ll be a sad day for all of us too but at least we’ll always have this.