Last night the new Queen of Liquefy, Lindsay Lohan celebrated another successful week of being an idiot by releasing a sexyface selfie to her Instagram. Unfortunately it looks like she ‘shopped’ herself using a broken version of Photoshop and the ‘greasy trash in a trash bag’ tool.
Yes, it appears that Lindsay Lohan’s project manager decided to take a nap on a pile of stolen artefacts instead of going over this picture (above) with a magnifying glass – LIKE HE’S SUPPOSED TO DO – because another ‘My Body by Still Learning To Use The Fool Filter’ has caused the World Wide Web to shudder with laughter.
This picture is as ridiculous as Lindsay’s, “It wasn’t me” protest in front of Judge Marsha Revel back in 2010.
Part of me wants to phone Adobe and ask them if they offer an on-site tutorial on waist clinching, but I think the real problem here is Lindsay. Lindsay is clearly too confident about her skills as a Photoshop artiste! Why else would she stand in front of those bottles in the background! Verticals! Get your shit together, Lindsay!
And another thing: if you’re going to go to all the trouble of Photoshopping your waist, why stop there? What about that those scrawny butt cheeks? Those would be the first thing Kim Kardashian would make go BOOOOM! Boost those bum cheeks!
But you know the most confusing take-away from all of this: Lindsay Lohan isn’t a professional model? My whole world just turned upside down! What does Lindsay do then? Exist solely as a gorgeous gusset goddess who was pulled from a dirty field in Texas?
Yes, I’m sure that’s it.