Posted By Michael Wheeler on February 8, 2010

Terese Ziemann, Michelle Belliveau, Wendy Sewell, and Tracy-Hood Davis all faced judgment for their roles in what’s being called the “Krazy Glue Revenge” case.
All four were sentenced today in Calumet County, Wisconsin court.

It comes after they glued a cheating lover’s private parts to his stomach back in July.

The women were all sentenced to one year of probation, community service, and a dose of shame from this sensational case.
Terese Ziemann, Michelle Belliveau, Wendy Sewell, and Tracy-Hood Davis all faced judgment for their roles in what’s being called the “Krazy Glue Revenge” case.

Six months ago, Donessa Davis was lured to this Stockbridge motel, where the women confronted him about his infidelity.  He argued and the women grabbed him, then sat on his face and glued his private parts to his stomach.

At today’s sentencing, defense lawyers argued for a fine whilst the prosecution asked for the the death sentence !

Donessa Davis said, “It wasn’t funny pissing in your own face for two days until the glue could be removed ! ”

The prosecution said after the sentence, ” This is a legal cock up “

Defense council said, ” We stuck to our case and won ! “

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Tags: funny, humor, Krazy Glue Revenge”, Michael Wheeler, News, news media images

Posted By Michael Wheeler on February 8, 2010

Lily Allen is planning to make a spectacular entrance and arrive on stage in a plane at the BRIT Awards, in what could be her final live appearance before she commits career suicide live on Twitter or gets married to Mickey Rourke and takes up housewifery!

Lily Allen PR people claim she is to arrive on stage in a plane at the BRIT Awards.

A source close to Lily said:

“Everyone had to submit their set designs this week so the organisers could see how the show was going to work. She wants it to involve flying, just like Balloon Boy who Lilly admires greatly . “

“At the moment the idea is to arrive on the BRITs stage in a plane. It’s all still work in progress at the moment but they are doing everything they can to make it work. It will cost a fortune, but as Lilly keeps saying, anything for Balloon Boy ! “

Lily, 24, is nominated for Best British Female Solo Artist, Best British Album for her last LP ‘It’s Not Me, It’s You’ and Best British Single, for ‘The Fear’ at the ceremony which takes place on February 16 in London. Her tribute song to Balloon Boy ‘Up Up and Away‘ has never been released by her record company, who have lost it.

Lily announced last December she is taking a two-year break from music to start her own record label and launch a rental fashion store.

She said at the time: “I will take one or two years off from recording and performing music. I’m just going to concentrate on doing some behind the scenes sort of stuff. I want to learn aircraft design and fly away just like Balloon Boy ! “

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Tags: BRIT Awards, Celebrity, lily allen, Michael Wheeler, news media images

Posted By Michael Wheeler on February 8, 2010

Victoria Beckham has banned husband David from declaring his love for her with another tattoo.

According to reports, the footballer had hoped to add another tattoo this time of his wife to his body artwork collection as a special Valentine’s Day treat.

However, it is thought that Victoria told him not to bother with the idea because she already knows how much he loves her.

A source said:

“They have been married for over ten years so Victoria really doesn’t need such grand gestures of love from David.

“They are perfect as they are and she thinks his tattoo addiction is getting a bit out of hand.”

So romantic, I love the idea, not of getting a tattoo exactly but as my other half also knows how much I love her, so is it ok if I buy myself an Aston Martin?

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Tags: Celebrity, Michael Wheeler, news media images, tattoo, victoria beckham

Posted By Michael Wheeler on February 8, 2010

Given my penchant for siestas in the middle of the afternoon, drinking wine whilst working and staring out of the window whilst eating spoonfuls of Nutella, the thought struck me that perhaps I have the best job in the world.

Before I called  Ocado to order more Nutella and Rose I decided to conduct a little research into what really IS the best job in the world.

It soon became obvious, to any observer,  that I do not have  the best job in the world.

Unless I can re-negotiate my rate of pay then I’m applying for The Best Job in the World elsewhere.

Situation vacant.

If you’re a photographer then Best Job in the World  has just the job for you above.

Perhaps a job in the shoeshine industry is more up your skirt er street . there’s a vacancy near you !

Then maybe being employed as a celebrity dresser/bikini fitter is a more fitting a career for you? Hmmmm, like a second interview would you sir?

For me this is the job of the week. Work in an off license, keep all the offers at floor level written in small letters !

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Tags: best job in the world, funny, Funny pictures, humor, Michael Wheeler, news media images

Posted By Michael Wheeler on February 8, 2010

MADONNA is set on having another child and the story of the virgin birth of Jesus to Mary without Joseph seems set for the sequel !

The 51-year-old singer — mom to Lourdes, Rocco, David and Mercy — isn’t trying to get pregnant, because she’s too old and she hasn’t got a boyfriend .

She’s on the hunt for a surrogate mother.

A source close to the singer said:

“Madonna wants another baby of her own, so she’s meeting with a fertility expert to discuss her options,”

“She decided to pursue the idea of surrogacy after being introduced to Sarah Jessica Parker by  Jerry Seinfeld’s wife Jessica.”

“After what Madonna went through during the adoption of Mercy, she is ruling out going back to Malawi,. “There’s no way she wants to put herself in that position again, where she thought she had the baby, then there was endless delays and red tape.”

“Madonna has been seeing the best fertility doctors and experts in the world to see if they can make this happen for her. She knows it will be tough finding the perfect surrogate to carry her baby, as they will have to be discreet and utterly trustworthy throughout the pregnancy and birth.”

Now that Jesus has gone walkabouts Madonna will have to, like a virgin before her in Mary,  find a stable, a great big star and hope to God he’s in the mood !

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Tags: Celebrity, entertainment, Madonna, Michael Wheeler, news media images, singer, surrogate

Posted By Michael Wheeler on February 8, 2010

Former I’m a celebrity star, drunk, womanizer and bankrupt, Darren Day was left embarrassed when he applied to ITV to enter what HE thought was a new reality show.

Darren was left red faced after a joker at ITV sent him an invitation to attend an audition titled “I’m a rat get me out of here” !

The audition was in fact meant for rodents only to enter ITVs I’m a celebrity, get chased, caught, skinned and eaten by celebs!

An insider said:

” It gave the whole office a hell of a laugh when he called in.  ”

” We put it on loud speaker so everyone could hear him, he was really fooled by it, but got pretty upset when we told him the rats were going to be killed and eaten on live TV!  I think he needs the work! “

Australian authorities (the country that wiped out the dingo for sport and shot a few million aborigines to boot) has fined  ITV producers $3000 bucks for cruelty to the rats.

Darren is also considering suing ITV for cruelty to a rat !

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Tags: Celebrity, cruelty to the rats, Darren Day, funny articles, funny celebs, funny news, humor, I'm a celebrity, ITV producers, latest news blog, Michael Wheeler, news media images, spoof

Posted By Michael Wheeler on February 8, 2010

Paul Gascoigne was  arrested yesterday after getting drunk again …… on a fishing trip!

The former footballer  was taken away for a cozy night in the cells after being found “bleary eyed and staggering” outside a pizza parlour in the village of Leeming Bar, North Yorkshire.

Gascoigne became abusive after being challenged about his van ( ?? )  blocking an entrance.

The 42-year-old was already drunk when he arrived at a local pub  following a day of fishing. He then visited the pizza parlor demanding they cook his little fishy in a dishy when the boat comes in…  and chips!

An onlooker said:

“He was so drunk he could hardly stand. He’d clearly had too much to drink. He didn’t want handcuffs on and there was a fracas. Officers put him in a car. He looked old and frail. I think he’d soiled himself…… he stank .”

Gazza will  be questioned this morning and has agreed to tell us all about the fish that got away !  It was called sanity……. but it wasn’t very big one.

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Tags: arrested, Celebrity, drunk, Michael Wheeler, news media images, paul gascoigne

Posted By Michael Wheeler on February 6, 2010

The happy couple return. Sorry did I say happy? They don’t look it and small wonder as the nightmare unfolds for Alex Reid at the hands of new wife Katie Price.

During filming of her latest show Katie has repeatedly complained that her new husband Alex Reid is receiving more attention than her.

According to reports, Price told producers filming her ITV2 show that the focus should be on her and shouted that she is “the f**king star of this”.

An insider said;

“The crew like Alex,” . “But when the focus has switched to him, she’s shouted her mouth off.”

“It’s caused screaming matches, her biggest addiction is attention. If she doesn’t get it, she goes beserk.”

Price is reportedly also angry that she was not invited to the filming of Reid’s new martial arts television show.

Recent reports have claimed that Price has been “bickering” with her new husband, while Alex Reid is allegedly hoping to annul the marriage and hinted that he may be seeking legal advise according to the insider.

PREDICT: This marriage over in 2010, maybe even before valentines day!

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Tags: alex reid, annul the marriage, Katie Price, Michael Wheeler, model, news media images

Posted By Michael Wheeler on February 6, 2010

Kate Moss has reportedly hired a private tutor so that she can learn to paint.

The super thin model has a passion for art and uses it to take ‘time out’ from her busy schedule.

A source said:

“Kate has always been a big collector of art and has several valuable works in her home. But she has been getting more into painting herself.

“She has a very hectic life and that is one of the few things that relaxes her. She has hired someone to tutor her at home and has told boyfriend Jamie Hince that he will be her first subject.”

Moss also gained further tips on her new pastime during a meeting this week with legendary artist Lucian Freud.

Lucian explained to Kate how she could make lots of money from self portaits, here’s her first attempt…..Tracy Emin, be afraid be very afraid!

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Tags: artist, Celebrity, Kate Moss, learn to paint, Lucian Freud, Michael Wheeler, model, news media images, painting

Posted By Michael Wheeler on February 6, 2010

Here is a collection of funny pictures. All were taken by amateurs who just happened to get their timing and camera angles absolutely right. The results make for prize winning photographs that are funny and sure appeal to my sense of humor.

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Tags: funny, Funny pictures, humor, Michael Wheeler, news media images, photographs, pictures