Celebrity

Thumbnail image for Game Of Drones.

Game Of Drones.

by Mike D.W April 18, 2014

I’m no expert on prisons, so I don’t know what life ‘on the inside’ is really like, but I think we can all agree that prison is a place that nobody wants to go. If television has taught us anything, it’s that life in jail is a non-stop parade of felony-level violence, face tattoos, shower stabbings, […]

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Thumbnail image for Peaches Geldof Interviewed For Judges Role On Australia’s Next Top Model.

Peaches Geldof Interviewed For Judges Role On Australia’s Next Top Model.

by Mike D.W April 17, 2014

Well damn, the Sun are saying that Peaches Geldof, who was found dead at her home in Kent last week, had been talking to the producers of Australia’s Next Top Model about becoming a judge on the next series. This tale has a tragic twist because had Peaches got the job then she would have been replacing former model Charlotte Dawson who […]

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Thumbnail image for Happy Birthday – Victoria Beckham – 40 Today.

Happy Birthday – Victoria Beckham – 40 Today.

by Mike D.W April 17, 2014

Our little Posh Spice is all grown up and middle aged! It was only 40 years ago that our very own “Fashion Designer of the Year” came into this world and brought some glamour into our dreary lives! Who knew that the little girl from Essex would become an international superstar and grow up to make millions? Please grill a small mushroom, spread […]

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Thumbnail image for Nick Clegg Knew Nothing Of Cyril Smith’s Pedophile Lifestyle?

Nick Clegg Knew Nothing Of Cyril Smith’s Pedophile Lifestyle?

by Mike D.W April 16, 2014

The groovers and movers over at Conservative party HQ must be cackling like bloated walruses today because the memories that reside in Nick Clegg’s head have become the subject of nationwide ridicule. Most of us have heard of Cyril Smith, the 29 stone former Liberal Democrat MP for Rochdale who died in 2010. After his death, […]

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Thumbnail image for A Royal Mess – By The Express.

A Royal Mess – By The Express.

by Mike D.W April 16, 2014

Oh Daily Express, keep being you, keep being you. I’m actually surprised that HMQ hasn’t called MI5 and told them to take care of your ass. I really don’t know what that headline is doing with Princess Kate and baby George but I think I know what might have happened here. Last night the Express’ […]

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Thumbnail image for Miley Cyrus Hospitalised After Suffering From Something.

Miley Cyrus Hospitalised After Suffering From Something.

by Mike D.W April 16, 2014

The musical mini miracle we know as Miley Cyrus was rushed to hospital in Kansas City yesterday after suffering a severe allergic reaction to her antibiotics. Miley’s twerking show in Kansas City had to be canceled and that meant thousands of twerching twerkers got the sads, because they didn’t get to watch Miley twerdle a giant […]

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Thumbnail image for Should Oscar Be Nominated For An Oscar?

Should Oscar Be Nominated For An Oscar?

by Mike D.W April 15, 2014

Oscar Pistorius is still free to shoot up intruders tonight despite South Africa’s state prosecutor, Gerrie Nel finishing his cross examination of the para-olympian. The court has listened to seven gruelling days of Oscar constantly breaking down and sobbing as he recounted his version of how Miss Reeva Steenkamp met her death behind a locked toilet door on February […]

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by Admin April 15, 2014

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Thumbnail image for Was Coleen Rooney Abducted by Aliens?

Was Coleen Rooney Abducted by Aliens?

by Mike D.W April 15, 2014

Coleen Rooney and her husband Wayne both have exactly the same scar in exactly the same place and that can only mean one thing: they were both kidnapped by aliens, microchipped and then programmed to meet each other. Obviously. Coleen tells The Mirror that when she was in junior school aliens beamed her up into their spaceship and […]

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Thumbnail image for Russians Steal Britain’s Heavenly Body Secrets.

Russians Steal Britain’s Heavenly Body Secrets.

by Celebrity Shade April 15, 2014

Whenever a woman buys herself an insanely big pair of boobs, everybody mocks her. Everybody that is except her surgeon, her mum and me. Her surgeon got paid, her mum made a vow and I know that no sweeter love exists than between a man and a woman with huge pair of bazookas. So that’s why most […]

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Thumbnail image for BGT: Just How Wrong Can Katie Hopkins Get.

BGT: Just How Wrong Can Katie Hopkins Get.

by Celebrity Shade April 14, 2014

Katie Hopkins must have sent UKIP into a full-body tingle this weekend after she mentioned their name in a tweet which blasted Britain’s Got Talent for featuring too many foreigners. Under BGT rules, anyone who has the right to live and work in the UK can apply to appear on the show. Among those taking part in Saturday […]

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Thumbnail image for Quick Programming Note Brought To You By Beyonce’s Photoshopped Thighs.

Quick Programming Note Brought To You By Beyonce’s Photoshopped Thighs.

by Mike D.W April 11, 2014

Starting today and continuing for the next few weeks, I’m unplugging myself from the pile of foolery that is NMi. The truth is I’m tired so I’m handing the keyboards over to our resident guest bloggers Dolly Molly and Celebrity Shade and taking a holiday. I may drop in at weekends just to make sure they haven’t broken the furniture, […]

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Thumbnail image for Follow The Leader: Another Controversial Mess from James Arthur.

Follow The Leader: Another Controversial Mess from James Arthur.

by Mike D.W April 10, 2014

Everyone at Syco HQ will be slow clapping James Arthur today. Just as they were wondering if James really is a worthless piece of dog poo stuck to the bottom of Simon Cowell’s shoes James finds a way to prove, beyond all reasonable doubt he is exactly that. Last night James took the Rucka Rucka Ali rap that he […]

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