Los Angeles is about to wake to the sound of Jennifer Aniston screaming. As Jennifer hears the news that Lilly Allen is pregnant, she’ll no doubt reach for her Brangelina voodoo doll and shove a tampon straight into it’s eye.
For months she’d had Gerard Butler riding his Harley around LA until his nuts were whipped into a pulsating frenzy. The contents were then spooned into a jiffy bag, marked ”Aniston- Baby at 50 Account and hand delivered to a sperm bank .
She even filled a Lolavie fragrance bottle with the entire contents of her sperm bank which she smuggled past customs and held aloft for the world’s press to photograph. She thought she had a womb borrow deal with Lilly when she PR’d over that complimentary ‘sniff n try’ bottle.
Now Lilly has Ronando’d her.
She shoves the tampon further into Brangelina’s head and screams and screams.