Wayne Rooney – Text pest.

If you take a trip to the Hale sewage works in Cheshire and look very carefully the odd shape lying face down in the poo lake is probably Wayne Rooney sucking air through a straw.

From what I’m hearing, Wayne didn’t actually face Coleen when he knew the Sunday papers were going to fill with stories of his dick dipping  away days with Jennifer Thompson (better known as Juicy Jeni to her friends), a 21 year old hooker from Bolton. Instead, according to reports, Wayne texted her with the news..

Surprisingly he didn’t use Twitter to tell his Mrs of his philandering and frankly I’m finding it hard to make something up here so god knows what Wayne managed to say…

Possibles

“Hello luv I’ve cancelled the papers?”

“Hi chuck close you eyes for a few days I’ve got a surprise for yah? ”

“Dear Mrs Rooney I’m sorry to inform you….”

“Coleen go to Barbados and don’t look back ? “

I dunno, I’m struggling today, help me out here, maybe this should be our caption this competition so write a text from Wayne to Coleen for me.

Tagged as: Jennifer thompson, Juicy jeni, Wayne Rooney