Wayne Rooney threesome with Helen Wood and Jennifer Thompson

What Helen Wood Wayne Rooney did it seems. Revelations out today say that a second Whore And Girlfriend (WAG) joined Wayne and prossie Jennifer Thompson in the Lowery hotel’s bedroom of frolics, shame and debauchery.

Coleen is said to have gone against her families wishes and agreed to direct talks with Wayne in an effort to make herself even more unhappy. Wayne is understood to be moving into Alex Fergusons home whilst the crisis into his marriage rages around his cauliflower ears .

But everyone has written that shit, so lets discuss what Helen Wood and what Helen did. According to Helen’s former ‘madame’ an upstanding citizen named Laura who told the Sun Newspaper,

“The girl-girl stuff made her an added attraction. Helen is very proud that she’s an incredibly open-minded girl. She wouldn’t have hesitated to climb into bed with Wayne Rooney and Jenny Thompson.”

“If any guys out there fancied a threesome and they had the wedge, Helen and Jenny could certainly make their fantasies come true. It was what they did best.”

“Wayne would just have been another punter for Helen. She treats men purely as a cash machine.”

“It wouldn’t have crossed her mind for a millisecond she might be wrecking the marriage of one of Britain’s most famous couples.”

“There are rumours Helen has had several Premier League players. And I’ve heard she has slept for money with five members of one team.”

“She loved wearing La Senza underwear which she said made her clients go like pneumatic drills. One girl refused to do lesbian acts with her because she was a little too ‘enthusiastic.”

Helen was last night in hiding.

A friend told the paper:

“She’s a girl with champagne taste whose dream would be to end up with a footballer. She loves getting drunk and does plenty of drugs. She’s not a very nice person but knows how to work a bar, especially if it’s full of celebrities.”