Oh Colin Firth he sure got them pretties, he’s got them pretties so bad it makes you just wanna leak-swoon that hot flush mist all over his 50 year old face. I wasn’t included in the survey of 1500 witches so I guess I’m looking for morphine and chocolate and a brand new way to get myself real high, reach out to the heavens and imagine there’s a better life than this.
Colin Firth IS the most good looking bloke in Britain according to a survey of 1500 women conducted by Wizard Jeans. Rupert Everett came second with Clive Owen third. Daniel Craig came fifth.
Sally Allen, of Wizard Jeans who commissioned the survey, said:
‘A handsome profile may be heaven-sent but looking good is usually a much more down-to-earth process, concerned with grooming and making the most of your natural attractiveness.
‘I’ve heard girls talking about Colin Firth’s brooding good looks when they are probably referring to his demeanour, grooming and image. And that’s something you can work on.
‘But it’s unlikely that many men will be able to recreate the magical moment when Mr Darcy came out of the lake, dripping wet – yet positively perfect and sexy – making all the women watching take a very deep breath.’
Well Sally ‘hot flush’ Allen I gotta message for your bitch ass. You ain’t ever seen me ‘stepping out of your kitchen wearing nothing but an apron, a smile and two first class tickets to NYC, having just cooked you a romance pie with cream. Then I toss an empty packet of viagra onto the table and whisper in your ear in my deepest huskiest voice, “Yes madame, your every wish IS my desire’…… now have you bitch.
No I thought not, so next time you watch Mr Darcy getting out of a lake dripping in orgasm dew drops you just think about that, you may want to put my name forward in the next survey.