Most people I know would never get bored punching Alex Reid in the face. Seriously you could punch away at the face only a paper bag could love for hours on end and it would still be the best of fun.
This is probably why poor delicate flower Chantelle Houghton is crying tears of shit right now because she knows she’s not pregnant with an actual baby. No, Chantelle’s pregnant with a giant sack of depression.
Now Magazine would have us believe that Chantelle put on a prosthetic penis and turned Alex from a heaving dollop of stale into the UK’s answer to Thomas Beatie, America’s infamous pregnant dude. (see above)
Actually I’m beginning to feel a little overprotective towards Alex. I know I
nearly called him hot once but I take that all back now (x 10), because the more I look at him, the more he’s starting to look like my Dad. My Dad always looked 6 months pregnant but it was never a baby in there, it was a brewery he was growing.
There I go again. Ruining something beautiful with gutter talk.
The majority of bitches on Twitter agree that some people are just different and feel there’s nothing wrong with Alex being pregnant. They don’t mind that he poses half-nekkid for magazines or gives interviews. What they do mind is that Alex says he’s going to write a book about the whole talent and fame thing that’s engulfed his life.
I just spent the last 30-minutes taking notes on the bitchery happening to Alex on Twitter today. Here’s just a taste:
@only1alexreid I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you.
@only1alexreid Is it possible for your balls to drop any lower than your single has?!
The problem is that when you mix Twitter, no shame and a much maligned single (Stardust) together, you get a mess. This is why Alex should install a pacifier plug-in on his account that will stop him Twit-whinnying every time The Daily Mail and company call him a twat.