Lauren Goodger: The Road To Nowhere.

Towie,Lauren Goodger,ITV2,Leaving,last_appearance,Dancing On Ice, The_Only_way_is_essexThat humming sound you heard this morning was the Twittersphere breathing a sigh of relief after it learned that Towie’s Lauren Goodger is taking time out from her busy schedule of doing nothing for Towie on ITV2 to join Dancing on Ice on BBC1. And that’s the good news.

The bad news is that come January when Lauren takes to the ice we’ll be getting a million Twitpics of her in a leotard looking like a dehydrated frog having a colonic seizure.

In tonight’s episode Lauren will be making her final appearance because according to a source Lauren just hasn’t happened but something bizarre has. Last week a man wearing a sensible business suit got up, walked over to the TV ratings prophet, who put his hand on his shoulder and told him he can stop now, it hasn’t worked, this entire Goodger mess has gone on for way too long.

Or as the source actually put it:

‘Lauren knows she is not an integral part of Towie any more, so she’s decided to jump ship.

‘An opportunity to do Dancing On Ice came along and she’s jumped at the chance.

Via: The Sun

If Lauren has any feelings left in that sedated head of hers she will have felt that bitch-slap, but unfortunately my fear is that when the Twitter train pulls into the next stop, Lauren will jump aboard and start rambling about why her entire life should be shot on her iPhone, which she’ll say shouldn’t be left laying around in her bedroom because drunken tweets never make any sense!


The day that nobody turned up to Lauren’s fake tan launch >> here

Nigella Lawson loses 3 stone to compete in Dancing On Ice. More competitors are >> here

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