Here’s CHI Magazine’s Court Scandal.

Kate Middleton, The Duchess of Cambridge won’t be smiling rainbows into her mirror today when she learns that Chi magazine in Italy have followed France’s Closer magazine and The Irish Daily Star and published those damned topless pictures!

Duchess Kate has already sent Laurence Pieau, the editor of French Closer magazine, an RSVP requesting her presence in a French court, probably with a note that reads,  I’ve got your number hussy, and I’ll be seeing you A LOT !

Here’s how St Jame’s Palace explained The Duke and Duchess’s official position:

‘We can confirm that a criminal complaint has been made to the French Prosecution Department today.

‘The complaint concerns the taking of photographs of The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge whilst on holiday and the publication of those photographs in breach of their privacy.’

But dear oh dear how now to banish to gallows that tawdry Silvio Berlusconi, owner of Italian Chi magazine, who blatantly ignored the Palace’s pleas for restraint by going right ahead with publishing another 18 topless photos of the Duchess, thus shaming the British Royal family still further.

Perhaps we should all file a lawsuit against the photographer who took these pictures because this entire scandal is becoming the kind of eyesore that makes you want to gouge your eyeballs out with a dull bread knife. The photographer is reported as being Valerie ‘sewer’ Suau from Belgium but wait, how can you have a camera in your hand and a naked princess in front of you without taking a shot or two of the royal nips in waiting?

This mess could get a whole lot worse if Damien Hirst decides to bust a nut and sculpt this shit in 18 caret gold. I’m sure Maurice Saatchi would be the buyer especially if Damien had sprinkled Kate’s lady parts in diamonds.

Anyways, Chi Magazine’s Topless Scandal edition can be found >> here.

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