Ask X Factor’s executive producer Mark Sidaway to Google search DIVA. It’ll take him straight to Christopher Maloney right? We should slap bitches like Christopher for believing they have diva status.
The Daily Mirror is reporting that X Factor went all hissy hussy again after Christopher was told off by executive producer Mark Sidaway for being late for rehearsals last Sunday. If Christopher had told Mark that one of his pink bag carriers didn’t wake his ass up in time then Christopher might have saved himself the trouble of yet another toddler tantrum. But he didn’t tell Mark that, instead Christopher’s excuse for being late a fourth time was?
Yes, that’s right Christopher used that old turkey excuse again, he was visiting his family.
Everybody knows that trying to brush a tiger’s teeth with a baby toothbrush is easier than trying to deal with Christopher’s messy ass, but the producers of X Factor still seem shocked and surprised that he continues to be a bitched out nightmare to work with.
According to D Mirror’s sources Mark Sidaway lost the plot this time and screamed something about Christopher’s “unacceptable f**king behavior” before banning him from seeing his family again before rehersals.
Not seeing his family ever ever again? Not ever? Well, Christopher’s face immediately took on an irritable bowel storm look (see above) and then his head exploded in a freckled frenzy of tornado smoke. It’s not like Christopher is in pristine condition. He wailed and he wept, he stomped and he stamped until Mark felt that he was caught in the middle of some Eastenders-approved drama and ran from the room.
Source’s said (Christopher’s Blackberry) later:
“This from Mark Sidaway was totally unfair.
“Chris walked in a few minutes late and he was swearing and being aggressive.
“Chris was banned from seeing his family before Sunday’s show.
“It hurt him and made him consider if he should carry on. Others are late and nothing is said.”
Actually what that really means is that Christopher wants Gary Barlow to drag Mark over his knee, then pull down his pants and spank him until he says none of this was ever Christopher’s fault.
Actually, scratch that because Christopher’s made entirely from vibrator parts and when you stick vibrator parts where the sun don’t shine you end up partly vibrating partly …. …oh stop now please, that’s quite enough.