Sometimes finding something interesting to graffiti these pages with is like trying to find an erotic encounter on the Antiques Roadshow. Seriously, the papers are full of ‘Fix Factor, I’m A Twat Give Me Relevance or Strictly Dancing With Has Beens’. Frankly I’m thinking of spending this week either peeing on my fuse box or force feeding my TV with Lemsip.
So because I’m at a loose end and there’s really nothing better to do……
Mssrs tabloids and co are all leading with Helen Flanagan and I’m A Celebrity this morning. Finally the night came where an orgasm-faced actress won her tiara and ended everyone’s misery! Yes, Helen confronted snakes, rats and spiders in the Deadly Deliveries trial and in spectacular fashion managed to win 12 meals for her fellow campers.
Now that truly came as a shock to one camper, because as Helen returned to camp beaming in triumph David Hayes looked like he’d just folded a frog in half and shoved it up his bum. When he recovered his dignity he said:
“I couldn’t believe it. Everybody was dumbfounded. Nobody could understand how or why. Everybody was shocked.”
Actually the producers have been keeping an eye on Helen since the beginning of the series and say they have been quite worried about her at times, but this dramatic turn-around has now left them wondering if she might have been faking her hissies nerves and fears all along.
A source told the Mirror:
“I’m pretty convinced that Helen has been faking some of her hysterics – however much she denies it.
“It’s Gillian McKeith all over again. Helen is playing a game – she’s cleverer than anyone has given her credit for.
“She could really use this show to boost her career and everyone out here now thinks she’s got a plan in place to do exactly that and keep herself on screen for as long as possible.”
“She may well have believed that all the nervous routines and mini-meltdowns would win favour with the public, but once that didn’t work, she has tried a different tactic and gone to the other extreme.
“She is an actress after all. Maybe she’s more talented than people realised.”
Via: Daily Mirror.
When Helen’s face twitches she looks like a homeless junkie trying to flick off the invisible ticks. I love her so. But yeah, she’s fake. The one and only time I was diagnosed with pneumonia, I was faking it. I had smoker’s cough and a hangover. It disappeared the moment I crept up behind my little spaniel Murphy and whispered the word clitoris in his ear. That was a laugh.