Mariah Carey has really outdone herself in the tact and class department this year! I’ve heard rumors about how her supersonic wails can cause car alarms to go off and garage doors to open, but who knew it could also turn on the Christmas lights in New York City.
If you use your imagination (means stop thinking about that stripper from the Spearmint Rhino commercial) then Mariah’s Christmas cleavage looks just like two baby whales head butting each other.
I was ready to give Mariah one of those awkward smiles that you give your best friend when she shows you her new born baby still looking like it just burst out of John Hurt’s chest, but then I remembered my Catholic church upbringing. We were taught that a woman’s breasts are simply the hills of paradise and that her cleavage is a holy smile for Jesus.
Something tells me that Mariah’s rendition of ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ for an audience at New York’s Rockefeller centre had less to do with her cleavage turning crucifixes upside down and more to do with her yodeling voice heralding in the start of all those ear-numbing Christmas tunes that her fellow citizens will be humming for the next 4 weeks.