You too would take the fast route to Drunksville if you looked down and saw the manes of a entire herd of My Little Ponies draped over your boobs. The washing-up boys at London’s Bodo’s Schloss night club had to stay 3 hours past their shift time last night, scrubbing the red lipstick stains off the edges of champagne glasses, which could only mean one thing: Katie Price was there!
Looking like she’d just hung her head over a toilet right after Peter Andre had taken a pink and blue colored pee in it, Katie stumbled out of Bunga Bunga and then slumped into Schloss last night with just a little help from a human crutch.
You know, Katie’s rental piece, whatever his name is, had it good last night. That boy knew he’d get to sleep in a mansion, use Katie’s credit card (for a little wet-n-wild porno from the Gaydah channel) and order in as much Thai Square as he could eat. The only thing he had to do was safely escort Katie’s drunk ass to a waiting car and then dunk her face into a bowl of paint remover before throwing her into bed. Some bitches sure get it easy, right?
On the other hand, I’m thinking that being a drunk bitch of a mess while still fully clothed is so yesterday. Let’s hope that Katie doesn’t try the new trend of getting ten colors of drunk and then craving a mound of deep fried lard at the nearest kebab shop. We’ve all been there, but nobody wants to see Katie doing that.
Anyways telling Katie to pull her shit together is a massive waste of time since everyone has been telling her to pull her shit together for the past ten years. Your energy would be better spent taking your trousers off and sliding your bare ass across a persian carpet.