Proving that you’re never too old to act the fool, celebrity boxer Andrew Flintoff got into a slapping battle at the Manchester Arena last night.
As entertainment this was much better better than watching a Werther’s Original commercial but c’mon who were Sky TV trying to fool, we all know Andrew couldn’t box his way out of a paper bag, even with an ice pick. Or so we thought.
The fun began with Andrew sitting in his corner glowering across the ring at his American opponent Richard Dawson. So Richard glowered back. STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!” mouthed Andrew and BOOM the Sky TV-sponsored Championship of the Retirement Homes was on.
Andrew leapt from his stool rushed across the ring and tried to push a flower up Richard’s nose. The pair went at it tooth and nail. The audience laughed, because priceless comedy IS two fools fighting over stupid shit like fame. The only thing missing from this mess was Kate Burley in a bikini holding up a Round Two card.
Round Two saw Andrew sitting on his ass wondering what day it was after Richard had landed a straight right to Andrews nose which sent him into the middle of next week. However, by the end of the round the pair were sat back in their corners sipping reality checks out of plastic beakers.
In the third round Andrew forced Richard on to the ropes time and time again. The American seemed happy enough holding on and never tried to land another big punch.Much the same in the fourth.
In the end Andrew was declared the winner on points (39-38) but that didn’t matter because watching this mess meant we all won.