It’s over. James Arthur has won the X Factor, Jahmene Douglas came second and the singing baked bean, Christopher Maloney was banished from polite society for ever after spewing out a foul mouthed tirade at one of his fellow contestants.
Watching this weekend’s final in my house was as dramatic as a Mexican funeral. Everybody was crying, like they were about to bury somebody. But damn. It’s over now so we can’t watch our weekly emotional roller-coaster anymore, but I will definitely be slotting The X Factor into my TV queue ready for next year.
That said, X Factor 2013 is still months away, so lets talk about Cheryl Cole’s replacement to this season’s judging panel instead. If a reality show judge can’t tell you that you suck, then who can? (answer: Nicole Scherzinger.)
Throughout the 2012 series Nicole showed promise as my all time favourite judge. When she first appeared on our screens her ‘Americanisms’ were so full of popcorn-flavored Jelly Babies it had me wondering if the audience’s bulging eyeballs would ever retreat back into their sockets.
At first I thought watching these four trollop judges trying to judge a singing competition together would either be as awkward as watching my best friend having a meltdown in a gay bar (true story) or a glorious disaster of glitter blossom proportion.
In the end it proved to be neither because Nicole was everything my sense of theatrics have ever needed – her voice always sounded like a breath of fresh air and her criticisms were coated in fluffy pink cream. So thanks Simon, none of your medicine cabinets are safe now!
In case you didn’t watch Nicole’s emotional roller-coaster this year, let me set you up with a beautiful mess of all her best bits.