Who hasn’t passed out in a cab after downing a bottle or two? We all have, I’ve practically made a career out of doing it. Seriously, the inland revenue probably still write “drunk” in the occupation box on my tax returns.
This is why this shot of Simon Cowell looking drunker than a thousand Apaches is my favourite celebrity picture of 2012, and because it takes “Go home you’re drunk” to a whole new level.
Yes, I love this picture because it makes me realize that I’m not the only one who drunkenly slurs out nonsense like the stuttering disaster behind a messy mess.
And I love this picture because it make Simon look just like me when I was drunk as shit in front of my parents and trying really hard to look sober. (Hey, you too would take the express route to drunkville if you had that comical clusterfuck in your life)
I also love this picture because, the doctor who delivered Simon tore up his medical license as a self punishment for not throwing him to a pack of homeless hobos in the hospital corridor in order that he would stand a better chance of living a normal life.
So thank you Simon. You’re an inspiration to us all.