God gave us hands but just because he did it doesn’t mean we should use them to smear mahogany sludge all over our faces. Sometimes a hand can do good (see hand job) and sometimes it can do wrong (see above). We can all learn from Kate Moss’s ass.
I just spent 20 minutes staring at this picture (there’s more here) asking myself why Kate has put her face out there looking like an audition for Les Miserables. I know, not her fault it was those dainty devil make up artists over at Versace that created this mess when they lathered the entire Moss in as much wood stain as Rylan Clark puts wax in his hair. (not quite that much)
Speaking of dark-sided acts of evil, to create the perfect portrait of grossness Versace hired in a bunch of sexy beasts and turned them into Ronseal coloured eunuchs. I’m okay with this because I refuse to imagine them licking on each other under the hot studio lights. You know they handed out baby wipes at the door.
So, whatever next for the Moss? Brokeback Mountain, the gay opera? Sponsored by Top Shop? Nah, not really gay enough.