There’s nothing to laugh about here because this is one Blind we should all be sad about. All of us. This sad of sads is brought to you courtesy of a visitor to the north London home of a former premiership footballer.
Our visitor called at around 8am in the morning. As he pulled onto the overgrown driveway this former Premiership star was just leaving for work. He was dressed in a boiler suit sporting the emblem of a well known local car wash company. The pair exchanged pleasantries before the footballer’s wife opened the front door. The footballer then bid them both goodbye and hopped into a C-reg Range Rover leaving our visitor in the hands of his wife.
Our visitor was there to carry out a small installation and was shown around the house by the footballer’s wife. It quickly became apparent to our visitor that this lady was extremely drunk. Slurring her speech and tottering to such a degree that she needed to hold onto a wall to make her way around the house, the wife showed our visitor where, in each room, she wanted the installations installed.
Our visitor said every corner of every room was piled high with dirty washing, rancid underwear and festering rubbish. Waste bins were overflowing, the washing up looked like it hadn’t been done in weeks and the place smelt like every kind of a dog kennel.
Your footballer is English and back in the 80’s made more than 500 appearances for two different clubs. He also played for his country but was forced to retire from the game after suffering an horrific injury. Before marrying his foreign wife he dated a small time actress from a popular soap opera.
Your Blind: What colour was the Range Rover?