Pens of mirth had better listen up because Chantelle Houghton no longer needs the weather man to know which way the wind is blowing. Yup, the slow one wants you to know she’s got a head full of new ideas which means she ain’t gonna be washing the kitchen floor no more!
Yes sir, the times they are a changing. No longer will Chantelle twist her floozy floss head into a Pilates rubber band of confusion over the cost of elbow implants because the NEW Chantelle says she’ll soon be an IMPLANT FREE ZONE !
Here’s an extract from Chantelle’s column in this week’s New Magazine:
“I’m going to have a breast reduction this year.I’ve wanted my implants taken out for ages, but I don’t like the thought of going under the knife now I’ve got Dolly.
“I guess I’ll have to have an uplift, but I’ll find out when I have my consultation next month.”
How Chantelle found the time to fill an entire page of New Magazine with the scent of burnt Tupperware and bleached desperation is beyond me, the dumb-ass bitch is in a self-induced coma most of the time. (Oh why did I type that? I’m sorry for saying shit I know ain’t true.)
And no, she didn’t get that job as psychiatric nurse.