The Perfect Headline.

by Mike D.W on January 24, 2013

in Entertainment

I know that Nigel Pauley at the Daily Star thinks my satanic soul should be burnt in a silver bowl in front of the Express Newspaper Building but at least I have his show biz editor Jessica Brown to blame for making my world go BOOM…. and then BUST.

Yes, the headline that made the BOOM was The Goss column’s Little Mix Star Perrie Edwards Sets Her Ass On Fire! That headline is exactly why I spend 99% of my day trudging around the internet. It wrapped me up in a mink coat, handed me a glass of champagne and practically whispered the lyrics of Britney’s “I Was Born To Make You Happy” in my ears. This was indeed a BOOM. I felt like I’ve just won The Health Lottery.

I was about to post about it, but then I stopped myself. Surely a celebrity setting their own ass on fire is just TOO good to be true. I celebrate life on Earth every day by setting my ass on fire but this is just too perfect. So I clicked through.

The truth of the story turned out to be six layers of boring. Perrie had simply spilt a hot Lemsip down herself and made her bum a little hotter than usual.

Well, at least this gullible dumb ass can now walk away from this knowing that he giggled at his own stupid ass foolery.

Source: Daily Star.


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