You know how a photograph takes a little bit of your soul? Well the cover of Elle magazine can steal all of your soul and more! By appearing on the cover of Elle’s March issue Victoria Beckham has not only lost her soul but she’s also broken a promise never to clinch her stomach until it was full of oxygen bubbles.
You should expect to see this photograph appearing in next month’s Cosmos magazione when they announce that the miserable alien baby NASA found in a crashed asteroid back in the 70’s has now morphed into the dark praying mantis that Victoria has become today.
No. This will not end well Victoria.
When asked by the magazine why she had her entire digestive system removed, Victoria responded to an entirely different question:
“On stage with the SPICE GIRLS, I thought people were there to see the other four, not me.
“When I go out with DAVID and people take pictures I think, ‘They’re here to take David’s picture’.”
I should’ve written something about that sinister ‘nibblish’ pout Posh is wearing but it’s scaring me! I swear, if Twitter had existed back in the 90’s then I totally would’ve tweeted that.