Programming Note: I’ve been away. Now I’m back. And what do I find in the gossip columns? That’s right, not a lot. I see the mailonline are featuring 70-year-old Freddie Starr becoming somebody’s husband for the fourth time. On Saturday he married his 31-year-old girlfriend, Sophie Lea.
The only available wedding picture (above) comes via Sophie’s cousin, Jessica who tweeted it. So thanks Jessica, here’s a well done for sharing your picture of Sophie looking a bit Little Red Riding Hood-ish and Freddie looking like the troll who chopped off his hair and became the leader of an evil wolf pack living deep in the enchanted forest. Good job @jessica_leake.
There’s two MAJOR wrong things with this wedding. No, it isn’t that Sophie Lea is marrying a dog. Women have married worse. The first thing wrong is that Sophie has her eyes open for her first marital kiss with her new husband. Maybe she just isn’t a romantic. If that’s the case, then this marriage is doomed to last about as long as her husband’s High Court injunction.
Secondly, this was Sophie’s big day and she shows up wearing a wrinkled-ass shower curtain for a wedding dress. What kind of bride wears a busted-down outfit like this on her wedding day? How awful! This is exactly why the Met Police need to launch their own TV bridal show called Arrest that Dress.
Oh what am I saying? I’m basically making shit up because nobody has any details of this wedding. But, in case you care about details I think the only thing any of us should care about is whether or not Freddie wore hamster embossed cuff links. Oh, and whether or not he snorted a line of the bad powder from under Sophie’s dress during the ceremony.