It’s a miracle! Paul Gascoigne is finally sitting his ass in rehab today. A source tells The Sun that Gazza has checked into rehab for the 100th time, because he wants to detox and get all the alcohol out of his system.
But Gazza knew he couldn’t get there alone so he reached out to his celebrity friends Chris Evans, Piers Morgan, Gary Lineker and Ronnie Irani. Those guys! They didn’t hesitate, not for a second, they stepped into Paul’s desperate mess and promptly shipped him off to the £6,000 a week Meadows Rehabilitation Centre in America. We’re paying the bill is why they’re saying Gazza won’t be hearing the word “discharged” for months.
DJ Evans says that Paul finally asked for help after admitting that he has a problem, not with crack, not with coke and not with Wet ‘N Wild pornography, no Paul told Chris that he’s become a disruptive mess because of alcohol.
Here’s what Chris had to say:
“A serious addict can only be helped if they really want to be. It is my understanding that as of approximately ten o’clock Monday morning Paul asked for that help.”
Via: The Sun.
I know Paul did this to himself and that Alcohol Anonymous should probably just call it a day by selling all of his memorabilia in a Liquidation Sale. But it’s still a miracle that he’s got one sanity cell left in his brain (no, he doesn’t) lucid enough to realise that the best way to duck out of all the mess he created is to tell your celebrity friends that you have a problem. They can shuffle you off on an all-expenses paid trip to rehab.
I don’t have any celebrity friends (don’t – way too obvious) so I take this as a sign. This has got me wondering why I spend my life throwing dumb-asses at everyone while reaching for mind-numbing substances at all hours of the day. (That last sentence contains a lie).
I’m in danger! Must get it together. Don’t make me type my way into that dark place.
Best of luck Gazza. Get well soon. Come back soon.
Source: The Sun