Simon Cowell seems pretty smug for a guy who looks like he sleeps in a pile of dirty laundry every night. Yesterday he attended the gala performance of The Book Of Mormon in aid of Red Nose Day at the Prince Of Wales Theatre in London looking like this.
So what is Simon going to wear next? Simon needs to use his billions of £££s of dollars on more important things. Like cloning his earth body to match the ice cold heart in his chest. Perhaps he should spend big on making his voice sound like Scooby Doo or eastern European, anything really, nobody should sound like Simon Cowell.
He should design a suit filled with bees and wear a nipple-hugging v-neck so that he can protect himself from the apocalypse dust that will cover the earth after the birth his first child.
Seriously, will the world’s bulging and shocked eyeballs ever retreat into their sockets after seeing this picture of Simon wearing a red nose? Will Simon ever stop cackling over how much attention his messy botox-filled face got today?