Because my mind is a pop culture trash heap covered in Fifty Shades of Grey jelly, I have no idea why Cow Posh Beckham caused a black cloud of gloom to hang over NYC yesterday. All I know is that she left some big-ass building in Manhattan, threw a signature scowl at the paps and then drove off.
Have you ever wondered how Cow Posh keeps her body looking like the thinnest Twiglett in the box? Well, according to sources she works out constantly. And no, I’m not talking about some gentle Pilates press, purge and pull exercises. No, Cow Posh goes to line dancing classes. See above.
The workout Cow Posh does is the kind you do at a Country and Western buffet hut. Trust me, that is a proper workout and it’s all done to music. What you have to do is slide out of a booth, line dance your way to the buffet, pick up a tray, put a piece of chicken on a plate, pick up the gravy boat, pour some over the chicken and then line dance your way back to the booth. Exhausting!
Some bitches have to train for weeks for that kind of marathon. And don’t even get me started on what it takes to make the Rodeo Girls advanced level!
Here’s what I’m talking about.
(Oh you know I’m made most of this up)