Well well well, haven’t The Sun-on-Sunday opened our mornings with a rambling monologue full of DRAMA today. I’ve had to stop sitting in the corner of a dark room shivering at the thought of Jasmine Lennard destroying Max George’s reputation with a bunch of lock-box secrets, in order to post a little something for you on the newest human being to have his name embedded on the front of a newspaper.
Today’s big story is the birth of Katie Price’s baby son and how the name they’re writing on his birth certificate is Jett Riviera. Katie actually gave birth to him by caesarean last week but the Sun have kept a shush on it until today because that’s the way a show-biz whopper gets wopped in Wapping. And with a baby name like Jett Riviera who can blame them?
It’s obvious that Katie didn’t spend much of her free time Googling, “how naming your children after The Space Cadets can turn them against you in the future.” Seriously, type in the name “Jet Riviera” and see how quickly you get re-directed to wotthefuckiswrongwithyourstupidass.com.
Honestly, you’d think Katie and Keiran would have been more considerate when it comes to giving their son a name he has to live with until he’s old enough to crawl into court and change it. But nope! They’ve decided to give their son the name of a part time stripper at a gay night club. Oh, KIERAN!
I don’t suppose Riviera is that bad. Yes, it sounds like the name of a Glade scent you’d use to mask your poop fumes, but it also sounds like the name of a member of a 1980’s boy band. I can deal with that. But JET!? A mess. Why didn’t they go the whole nine yards with this foolery and name him Jet Fighter Fuddle Fuck?
Anyway Katie has told the Sun everything about the birth of Jet Riviera Hayler-Price. You can read it all here if you want to.
Meanwhile, I’m hoping that at the christening, Harvey Price continues to be the voice of the people and quotes himself while giving a speech:
Source: The Sun on Sunday