When Gwyneth Paltrow isn’t funnelling her smug-ass hatred into bringing down Vanity Fair or teaching online fatties not to be fatties anymore she’s looking for ways to help you waste your money on an overpriced fragrance which is so damn average that Gwyneth wouldn’t even spray it on the mice that live in her maid’s room let alone spray it on herself.
Yes, the latest version of Gwyneth Paltrow’s BOSS JOUR Pour Femme advert is out on YouTube (see below) and this time Goopy G is blithering on about Christmas in the hope that her words of nostalgia have you all rushing off to the nearest perfume shop, debit card at the ready.
Well no. When I heard Gwyneth gushing on about “being together, all the food and the mulled wine and everything” it told me that Hugo’s production team probably had to replace words like ‘Godless’ and ‘Path to Salvation’ with “great gift” and “way to mark the passage of time” because they didn’t want their Christmas campaign sounding like some born-again Christian bus driver on a recruitment mission.
Yes, ‘Boss Jour for messes like Gwyneth Paltrow‘. She should come with a bright red warning label stuck over her mouth because every time she talks she makes you want to stick a chopstick in your ear and then stab yourself in the brain with it. But you know what’s funny? Press pause on the video below, then it looks like a tampon made out of a Cadburys Flake.