Every woman on Earth will now be aware that George Clooney’s ‘love ever-lasting’ is British lawyer, Amal Alamuddin. This means that no cocktail waitress should ever have to shave her legs again.
Yes, vanity mirrors across the world are reflecting the rain today as news reaches millions of unattached ladies that George and his fiancee held their engagement party in Miami over the weekend.
Below is the only picture of Miss Alamuddin’s seven-carat diamond and platinum engagement ring. It’s been reported that it’s worth around £450k, so I’m guessing Stacy Keibler will now be spending the rest of her week curled up in the foetal position while wailing, “Why George why?”
This all reminds me of the time my mother got herself all obsessed with matchmaking me off to Elizabeth Hurley. I know, it was crazy. She’d see paparazzi pictures of Elizabeth in the paper then she’d frantically call me up saying, “Michael, brush your hair and go outside, you may run into her!”
I never did brush my hair or run outside but y’know, when I’m sitting at home drinking bottles of Italy’s finest a small part of me thinks that my mother was right. I did set my sights on an elegant and sophisticated lady. Not like Amal and not like Elizabeth, but like my beautiful HiDs who I still love dearly.
Anyway that’s my mother’s Love’s Labour’s Lost story. The End.