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Introducing Kate Middleton’s Bottom.


Kate Middleton,Naked Bottom,Picture,up skirt,Bild,Princess Kate,Duchess of Cambridge,First of all, I hope everyone had a wonderful bank holiday and that whoever you kissed didn’t give you mouth herpes. Second of all, welcome to another slow-assed news day where nothing is going on except for…..

You might be wondering why everyone you know with an internet connection has locked themselves in their bedrooms this morning and stuffed a towel at the bottom of their door.

Here’s why.

A picture of Kate Middleton’s naked bottom has somehow made it’s way into a naked bottom magazine in German.

The picture was taken whilst Princess Kate and Prince William were on their recent tour of Australia. As the royal couple dis-embarked a helicopter a gust of wind from it’s rotor blades blew up the Duchess of Cambridge’s skirt and lifted it way too high for royal protocol.

This weekend the German magazine, BILD published that picture but failed to cover her naked bottom with the customary pixelated mask. This failure has incensed the British tabloids.

The Sun are speaking of ‘Royal outrage’ whilst the Mail are banging on about ‘indignity, breach of privacy and legal action.’

Frankly I don’t know what the fuss is all about. It’s not as if Bild have published a picture of Kate riding a bike with her ass hanging out or getting naked for Instagram. Imagine what they’d have said had Katie tweeted a selfie of her royal bum cheeks.

The real news here is that Fleet Street had only ONE job to do last night and that was to introduce Kate’s bottom to the British people whilst properly covered by a pixelated mask.

Yes, British editors know well that unless a princess has a seriously mutant bum cheek moment then all Royal Brazilians, titled bikini lines that look like sideburns and full-on noble landing strips decorated in the colours of the union jack must all be sent for a photoshop bush up prior to publication.

Me? I. Don’t. Care. See above.

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