He may dress like a gay on a budget but that doesn’t mean the ladies should stop throwing their underwear at Simon Cowell. No sireee.
During ‘that drugs trial’ over at Southwark Crown Court yesterday the jury were played a secret recording in which Gareth Varey was heard to tell undercover reporter, Mazher Mahmood that Simon Cowell is gay.
Mahmood: “Is Simon Cowell gay?”
Mahmood: “Have you slept with him?”
Mahmood: “Why not?”
Varey: “One day I will when I make my move.”
Mahmood: “Do you fancy him or not?”
Mahmood: “How do you know he’s gay?”
Varey: “I know people who have.”
Well, that Varey sure spoked up some stink yesterday because now every tabloid in the country is asking if those long standing gay-as-a-rainbow rumours have any substance.
Naturally Cowell is furious. He’d sooner shove the jury’s ears up a cow’s bum than have them listen to a piece of trash who sounds like he’s being humped in the rump. He wants to sue-jump all over that bitch’s ass for talking shit about him. He wants to sue the press for repeating it and he wants to sue you for reading that defamatory mess. But he can’t.
Here’s what his people had to say:
“We are bound by contempt of court rules so cannot respond to these claims in the manner we wish to.
We are speaking to the Attorney General’s office and intend to make a statement in court as soon as possible.”
Yes, Simon wants to make it clear that Varey is scraping the bottom of the desperate bin with this one and that nothing could be further from the truth.
I do hope the defendant is getting something out of all this because it can’t be comfortable letting the press pat your nalgas when you’re arriving to court wearing nothing but a wig and a plastic face.