I know this isn’t exactly BREAKING NEWS this morning but for all you die-hard Scottish independence fans out there who are wondering what caused the YES campaign to go so very wrong last night, well it’s all because of this man here:
Name: Ross Somethingorother
Claim to Fame: Ross is the #1 male Barbie in Scotland. Ross believes that you can never be too orange, you can never wear enough makeup and your kilt can never be too short.
Had Scotland voted to leave the union last night then Ross’s organic orange face was going feature on the back of a new Scottish ten pound note. Yes, Scotland would have had it’s own money that the Scots could have spent in the shops just like real money.
An independent Scottish government were going to put a “president” face on the front their note and naturally that president’s face would have been Alex Salmond’s.
Well, here’s where things went a bit wrong. On the back of the notes the original idea was to have a man running away with an oil drum but then someone thought it might be a better having the face of that handsome gent in the sassy tie you see above.
Had Ross appeared before the BBC cameras standing back to back with Alex Salmond then they’d have looked like that bank note and the YES vote would surely have prevailed.
But where was Ross last night when Scotland really needed him? Ross was either doing himself with a bronzer stick or at the doctors being treated for foundation poisoning.
Wherever he was, Ross punished Scotland last night by not appearing with Alex Salmond to rally the Scottish into voting YEEEEES!
(and yes of course I made this nonsense up)