When Theresa May asked the British people if they wanted another five years of counter-productive governance nobody expected it to end in a national day of laughter. But it did.
Thursday’s election results saw the Conservatives’ lose their parliamentary majority of 17, winning just 318 seats – eight short of the 326 they needed to create a majority government. Theresa May has now confirmed that she will form a minority government. It will propped up by Northern Ireland’s Democratic Unionist Party.
Theresa’s March to Defeat.
During the election campaign Theresa May made a stupendous fool out of herself. After announcing the election she turned from a competent, ambitious politician into a deranged Brexit crusader.
That caused her personal ratings to plummet to the worst ever recorded by a sitting prime minister. So Mrs May decided to act. She sacked her media and political strategists calling them,
‘Utter nincompoops who have made me look like a total vacillating ninny.’
Brexit Means Brexit. This patronising mantra seemed to give Theresa power until some murderous individuals started stabbing people in the name of religion. That awful reality turned her out of touch speeches into prophesies of doom.
Strong and Stable Leadership. This monotonous soundbite cut no sway with the electorate who pointed at her dubious record of cutting police numbers.
Dementia Tax. Theresa had hoped that those who heard about her despicable dementia tax would forget they’d ever heard about it. After all it would be one less thing for them to worry about – like where are my false teeth?
Hanging On By A Thread
Despite the Tories disastrous election results Theresa May miraculously remains prime minister. After holding an audience with the Queen, she told reporters outside 10 Downing Street that she intended to form a minority Conservative government. Mrs May confirmed she would work with “friends and allies” in the DUP in order to get her nasty agenda through parliament.
All this begs the question if this ‘difficult woman’ still believes herself to be the people’s champion. I think that ultimately Theresa will be remembered as an unlikable shrew who blew a supremely winnable election.
I for one am going to enjoy commentating on Theresa’s short lived time in office. Her beautifully broken body language, the tremor in her voice and that shuffly walk all speak volumes. It couldn’t happen to a nicer person.