Kim Kardashian: Surrogate Is Married With Children.

Kim Kardashian, news media imagesIt seems like forever since we’ve had Kim Kardashian on the front page. However, it’s appropriate as on Wednesday it was announced that she is expecting her third child – a girl.

I should have said “sort of expecting”. Because Kim Kardashian suffers with placenta accreta she has hired a surrogate to carry the baby for her. That’s right, after two children Kim has finally realised that pregnancy is best left to the poor and underprivileged.

Apparently American model Chrissy Teigen offered to be Kim’s surrogate. Outwardly, the American model seemed a perfect match. However, Kim declined Teigen’s offer because deep down she doesn’t want her third child smelling like an unwashed gym towel.

The Surrogate is married….

More details have now emerged about the mystery surrogate. She is a married African-American in her 20s with two sons of her own. She is being paid $45,000 but if there are multiple births then she will receive an additional $5k for each one.

The surrogate is also required to behave herself. During her pregnancy she must refrain from smoking, drinking or taking drugs. She has also agreed to restrict her sexual activities in the weeks leading up to the birth.

Such are the contractual restrictions the surrogate cannot enjoy a hot tub or a sauna. Nor is she allowed to change cat litter, apply hair dye or drink more than one caffeinated drink per day. Or eat raw fish.

Yes, surrogacy is so in but here’s the best part. If the surrogate loses her reproductive organs, then Kim will pay her a bonus of, wait for it … $4,000!

I have to ask why the clause for the surrogate losing her reproductive organs. Lets face it even Roman Polanski let Rosemary keep her uterus in his Hollywood blockbuster

Oh well you can’t win a contractual argument with Kim Kardashian. You know why? Because Kim has no idea what you’re talking about and in the time you spend making your point her net wealth has increased by half a million.

Anyway. With every little girl in America being raised on reality television they must think this is a promotion for Planet of the Apes 2.

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