Thumbnail image for Myleene’s Two Piece Pap Pose.

Myleene’s Two Piece Pap Pose.

July 21, 2014 Celebrity

For the past month or so the paparazzi on the island of Ibiza have been wandering the beaches wondering what to do with themselves. Every so often they’d come across a dead seahorse lying in the sand and they’d burst into tears as they remembered all the beautiful staged bikini moments they’d had with Myleene […]

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Thumbnail image for Mad Madge Gets Parking Ticket.

Mad Madge Gets Parking Ticket.

July 21, 2014 Celebrity

Welcome to the ‘made-up news’, a post where most of the content has been exaggerated in order to fill the white spaces left between the facts and the truth. After eating at London’s Firehouse restaurant on Saturday night the queen of pension-pop, Madonna returned to her car only to find a parking ticket tucked under her windscreen wiper. The thing, […]

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There Are No Words….

July 19, 2014 Celebrity

Forget all about the other workouts because ‘Chutercise’ is the only workout you’ll ever need. One of our nation’s finest blooms, Helen Flanagan, is here to show us how to burn the fat with parachutes. Yes, chute chute chute, chute like you’re Jane Fonda galloping through a field of daisies while being chased by a swarm […]

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Thumbnail image for Simon Cowell: Too Gay Or Not Too Gay?

Simon Cowell: Too Gay Or Not Too Gay?

July 18, 2014 Celebrity

He may dress like a gay on a budget but that doesn’t mean the ladies should stop throwing their underwear at Simon Cowell. No sireee. During ‘that drugs trial’ over at Southwark Crown Court yesterday the jury were played a secret recording in which Gareth Varey was heard to tell undercover reporter, Mazher Mahmood that Simon Cowell is gay. The recording: […]

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Thumbnail image for Lets Feel Sorry For Lily Allen Today.

Lets Feel Sorry For Lily Allen Today.

July 17, 2014 Celebrity

“Know when to shut-up” isn’t just one of the taglines for Lily Allen’s new single URL Badman. It’s also what everybody is saying to themselves now they’ve heard her latest contribution to the music industry’s growing mountain of turds. Lily is still trying to be a huge musical success story yet Britain is still trying to tell […]

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Thumbnail image for Jeremy Kyle Goes To Magaluf. Gets Peppered.

Jeremy Kyle Goes To Magaluf. Gets Peppered.

July 16, 2014 Celebrity

In hell’s only franchise on Earth (aka Magaluf) sex-hungry slusters have been going crazy over discounted cocktails for months now. So when trash is acting like trash everyone in the British media calls them trash, right? Wrong, when trash is acting like trash, Jeremy Kyle calls them uneducated. That is his insult for everything and everybody. […]

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Thumbnail image for A Blind Post: Hope For Madame Moody?

A Blind Post: Hope For Madame Moody?

July 16, 2014 Celebrity

If you happen to see a bald woman running down the street screaming, “NOOO” don’t pay any attention to her. It’s just the Mirror’s Madame Moody. Yes, Clemmie Moody lost her mind and tore out all her hair because she wasn’t allowed to even think the word “marriage” while in One Direction’s presence and now one of […]

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Thumbnail image for STALKERS: How Sandra Bullock Had Face To Face Time With Joshua Corbett.

STALKERS: How Sandra Bullock Had Face To Face Time With Joshua Corbett.

July 15, 2014 Celebrity

A big blob of crazy was shuffled into the Los Angeles Superior court recently after he’d been caught behaving like a mangled mess in front of actress Sandra Bullock. Earlier this month 39-year-old Joshua Corbett broke into Sandra’s house while she and her 4-year-old son Louis were in bed. TMZ have reported that at around 2am one Sunday morning […]

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Thumbnail image for BRAWLS: Oscar Pistorius v Jared Mortimer.

BRAWLS: Oscar Pistorius v Jared Mortimer.

July 15, 2014 Celebrity

There’s nothing worse than the walk of shame from a bar room to the tabloids when you’ve got nothing to show for it except for a bruised ego and a frowning b-hole. Moving on… Oscar Pistorius got dumped on his carbon fibre prosthetics outside the VIP Room night club in Johannesburg on Saturday night after bouncers had […]

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Thumbnail image for Princess Kate Might Be Pregnant Again.

Princess Kate Might Be Pregnant Again.

July 15, 2014 Celebrity

Not that Prince Harry has let the cat out of the bag by confirming this news but… Princess Kate might be pregnant again. Well she is if you believe Jessica Hay. Jessica Hay is an old friend of Kate de Cambridge. You’ll remember that back November 2012 it was Hay who first told the media that Katy was […]

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Thumbnail image for In Super-Secret Wedding News, Cheryl And Jean-Bernard Got Married.

In Super-Secret Wedding News, Cheryl And Jean-Bernard Got Married.

July 14, 2014 Celebrity

X Factor mistress Cheryl Cole and her international modelling treasure, Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini have been together for 3 months (which is 3 years in celebrity years) so I guess they figured they’d had a good enough run and it was time for them to ruin everything by getting married. Start the conscious uncoupling clock! All the papers are reporting how Cheryl and […]

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Thumbnail image for Celebrity ‘BIG’ Brother.

Celebrity ‘BIG’ Brother.

July 12, 2014 Celebrity

One day I’ll be driving down the road and I’ll see White Dee’s stomach trying to hitchhike its way out of town. It’s going to leave her body any day now because she’s threatening to have a plastic surgeon lipo out the fried egg platter she fed it for breakfast this morning. Take another look at […]

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Thumbnail image for Sharon Stone Wants A Date.

Sharon Stone Wants A Date.

July 10, 2014 Celebrity

Some people say that Sharon Stone’s heart is made from dehydrated kitten fur and elastic bands. Others say that she once skinned a guinea pig with her bare teeth (exhibit: A). Nope,  Sharon could never do that. Guinea pigs are loving creatures that wrap themselves around you and love you unconditionally. In your time of need they’ll whisper, […]

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