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George Michael Injured In Motorway Smash.

by Mike D.W May 17, 2013

Here’s some siren breaking news. George Michael has been injured in an accident on the M1 motorway. This news is developing but according to the Sun web-site a few moments ago George suffered cuts and bruises in the incident which happened near the junction for the M25 near Watford yesterday afternoon. An air ambulance was called to [...]

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MORE MESS!

by Mike D.W May 17, 2013

This messy Celebrity Juice show is awkward comedy at its finest. Keith Lemon’s idea of funny is about as amusing as my little spaniel dog’s swollen anal gland (I’m taking him to the groomer tomorrow, don’t worry) Kelly Brook is leaving this childish disaster of a show next week before her growing reputation as diva-plated asshole makes her [...]

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Emma Watson Looks Different.

by Mike D.W May 17, 2013

If you walked past the Palais des Festivals et des Congrès in Cannes last night and wondered why hundreds of Harry Potter fans were licking the ground it was because Emma Watson had melted their nipples off after drops of her DNA were spotted all over the red carpet. Emma also appeared on the cover of [...]

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BGT: Pole Dancer Censored.

by Mike D.W May 17, 2013

Cycling has Bradley Wiggins, swimming has Rebecca Adlington, bottoming has Rylan Clark and now pole dancing has Tiffany McRory. When Tiffany auditioned her acrobatic pole skills down a long piece of chrome she thought she’d won a place on Saturday night’s Britain’s Got Talent. But the official censor has stepped in and banned her sexy performance until [...]

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Melanie Sykes: Wedding Of The Year IMMINENT !

by Mike D.W May 17, 2013

When The Western Gazette published the date and place of Melanie Syke’s upcoming wedding she made it clear that nothing is more important to her than the sanctity of marriage and her privacy. Which is why she’s decided to press pause on her marriage to her second husband, Jack Cockings. Well, there’s some news on Britain’s wedding of the [...]

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Rest In Peace: Paul Shane 1942 -2013.

by Mike D.W May 16, 2013

The Hi-de-Hi gang have given Paul Shane a ride all the way up to heaven, because he died today at the age of 72. The BBC says he was surrounded by his family when he died at a hospice in Rotherham, South Yorkshire, earlier today after a short illness. Paul was born a George (Speight) and long before we had [...]

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One Direction Latino!

by Mike D.W May 16, 2013

I know it’s wonderful and everything but what’s the point? One Direction’s Stadium Tour announcement has had over 454,000 Facebook likes and received a 100k in retweets, so I’m guessing your asses already know about it. I CAN’T with anything One Direction does, but what I’m looking forward to is them yodelling out their sugar sweet [...]

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David ‘Golden Balls’ Beckham Retires !

by Mike D.W May 16, 2013

Well who saw this coming! Football says goodbye to the man whose daughter’s voice is probably deeper than his. David Beckham has announced his retirement from football. Thank-you David Robert Joseph Beckham OBE for being the world’s highest paid footballer (2004). Thank you “Golden-Balls” for scoring ‘that goal’ against Argentina (2002) and thank you for [...]

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Just Look What Happened To Christina!

by Mike D.W May 16, 2013

Christina Aguilera is no longer a card-carrying member of Team Chunk after her record label told her to switch to a calorie-free red lipstick and get back to her Dirrtyera body shape. Yes, a diet is the only game you win when you lose (Karl Lagerfeld). In this picture above, tweeted from the set of her new music video Xtina [...]

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Fights: Liam Payne v Tottenham Hotspur.

by Mike D.W May 16, 2013

It’s been way too long since we’ve heard about tricks and tramps getting messy in the middle of a night-club. Today 3AM’s Clemmie Moody is reporting how One Direction’s Liam Payne let four Tottenham Hotspur footballers in the Funky Buddha night-club know that he didn’t like them roughing a poor bitch up. The messiness all started after Liam noticed that [...]

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Okay Who WasThat?

by Mike D.W May 16, 2013

Judging by the ‘it was this nasty motherfucker’ smile that Steven Spielberg is wearing it was totally Nicole Kidman and it totally smelt like enema water and vinegar. I mean, look at that woman in the back-ground. That’s enough about that. Let’s focus on the positive – like Nicole’s white trash look as it appeared at the opening of the Cannes [...]

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Hello 25th Birthday Party: The Aliens Have Landed.

by Mike D.W May 16, 2013

I’m pretty sure that once Hello Magazine’s lawyers read this (like they would) I’m gonna get one of those “you better have our money” E-mails they love to send out because nobody likes their party guests called a bunch of aliens. Do they? Hello Magazine’s 25th birthday party was held in London last night and John Cleese and his [...]

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Cara De Le Minge Rides Again.

by Mike D.W May 15, 2013

Cara Delevingne can’t do a photo shoot without either the photographer, an assistant, a stylist or the girl who keeps the cashew nuts bowl topped up getting themselves naked. We should rename her, Cara De Le Minge. All the papers are running screen grabs from Yves St Laurant’s video of their latest Baby-Doll range (see [...]

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