Pink Risks Everything – Jumps Off 34 Story Building!

PinkPink, 38, went ALL out for her appearance at last Sunday’s American Music Awards. In the run-up to the show the pop star was seen practicing her dance moves while hanging off a 34 floor hotel in Los Angeles.

While Pink is known for her theatrical acrobatics, doing flips and grinds while hanging 400 feet above the ground took her normal routine one step closer to death by mis-adventure.

However, is an AMA performance really worth dying for? I’m not sure it is but when you’re engaged in a battle for media attention, then break dancing on the side of a sky scrapper is certainly different. And yes, it puts a skilfully calculated up-skirt to shame.

But what does that kind of risk taking mean to a musician like Pink? Does it mean she’s a strong independent entertainer blessed with magical powers? Or does it mean she’s just a middle-aged mother desperately trying to save her audience from boredom?

Of course it could mean that losing her life while making a music video would make a great headline. Imagine just how many headlines she’d have recieved had Pink splatted into a million pieces after a cable malfunction.

Well, the cables didn’t break which is probably why hardly anyone this side of the Atlantic has covered the story. Seriously, a nip-slip would have been enough for an appearance in the Daily Fail’s  column of shame

Times have changed.

After this desperate and fool-hardy stunt it’s now time for Pink to bow out gracefully and go be a mum in the suburbs. That way she can get on social media and let everybody see those bingo-wing arms. Then, she can sit back and await the trolls at their body shaming worst. It won’t take them long especially if she posts some decent up-jowl selfies. Give the sad emoji cycle twenty-four hours before Pink can then make her world comeback by saying she doesn’t care what the haters think.

That way she’ll get hyper-kudos from commenters, mummy bloggers and overweight people everywhere. They’ll pen endless stories about how brave,  bold and smart she is for sticking it to the shamers.

I know, it’s a fine line between wanting to be a strong, ruffian woman failing in the music business and simply wanting a little attention. I’m calling Pink on this side of the line.


Charlie Sheen,Cory Haim,sexual assault, claimsAs social justice continues on it’s sexual allegation warpath another Hollywood A-Lister is now being burned at stake. Yesterday it was the turn of Charlie Sheen to deny accusations of rape and deeds most foul.

What follows is the latest twirl in the sordid tale that Charlie Sheen calls his life.

Begins: Back in 1986, while they were filming the movie Lucas, Charlie Sheen, then aged 19, is alleged to have had sex with Corey Haim. At the time the child star was just 13 years-old.

The unsubstantiated claim has come from actor Dominick Brascia who says that Haim – who died in 2010 as a result of drug induced pneumonia – confided in him about the encounter.

He said:

“Haim told me he had sex with Sheen when they filmed Lucas. He told me they smoked pot and had sex.

Haim said after it happened Sheen became very cold and rejected him. When Corey wanted to fool around again, Charlie was not interested.”

If this is true then it seems that Charlie Sheen could never leave a bad idea alone. However, a spokesman for the actor has denied the claim.

Sheen’s spokesman told the Sun newspaper:

Charlie Sheen categorically denies these allegations

And there you have it. Story over. Case closed.

Or is it?

Sexual allegations are not to be messed with. And, depending on your level of fame, they can either keep you relevant or ruin your career.

However, Charlie Sheen has a history of ruining his career all by himself.

It’s unclear how Sheen blew so much credibility so quickly, but if you think about cocaine, hookers and hush money, then you’ll find three reasons for sending Charlie to the nearest rubber room.

Lets face it there are many ways that life can overcome a man. Charlie Sheen has experienced them all. He survives on crack, intravenous McChicken, vials of tiger blood and yelling “Winning” at the top of his voice.

Oh I know, everybody loves a rebel, especially when he’s buying the drinks. However, popularity is a fickle mistress. With the media writing Sheen off as a loser his battle cry of ‘Winning’ is now falling on deaf ears.

It’s a real shame. While Charlie Sheen continues to believe he’s a true American hero, everyone else now thinks he’s an asshole.

How’s the tiger blood working now Charlie?


The Real Donald Trump Got Deleted

Donald Trump,twitter,newsmediaimages,news,media,images,socialYesterday, on the last day in their job, a disgruntled Twitter employee deactivated Donald Trump’s account.

Well done! Everybody needs a thank you, not a lot – just a teeny-tiny bit of one. But no, Twitter bosses were in no mood to thank their former employee. Instead, just 11 minutes after he’d disappeared, Twitter’s management reinstated Donald Trump to the Twitter-sphere.

Donald Trump then responded by saying his removal shows that his word is “having an impact”.

He tweeted:

Donald Trump, Tweet, newsmediaimages

Trump’s ‘word’ having an impact? Really? Is that it? Well, story over then.

Now what?

I have the rest of this page to fill so without further ado I shall content myself with a (slightly self indulgent) extravaganza of Trump bashing.

Mocking Trump.

It’s ironic that all the news outlets seem committed to tearing Trump down. Whilst I think coverage of Donald Trump should stop at his ginger wig, (which should be donated to a homeless crackhead) clearly there’s a media stampede to publish anti-Trump stories.

There’s been no media phenomena quite like it. Fat faced media moguls and their wall to wall coverage of a fat faced President. It’s a game. Follow the money. Or the lazy writers.

Sadly, ALMOST everybody can get away with blind Trump bashing these days. They take to social media for cheap applause. His detractors view everything he says as either racist, sexist, Islamaphobic or homophobic. They all seem to think he’s nothing more than a spray painted pumpkin head struggling for coherent diction.

Sometimes their posts are humorous, sometimes they’re flat and lame. It doesn’t matter. It’s all part of the global Anti-Trump rally. 

I guess in this era of social media that’s fair enough but you can expect Trump to take any criticism to heart. He lives for that shit. After all starting an argument with a heinous tweeter is a good way to win over his non-critical followers.

That said, to me Donald Trump is like having a mormon knocking at the door. Thanks, but no thanks.


Westminster Knows WhatsApp

Westminster,MPs,scandal,news,media,images,whatsAppHere’s WhatsApp in Westminster today. Whenever an MP invites a secretary into his office to discuss ‘typing errors’ he probably intends to harrass the pants off her.

Not sometimes – but every time. Here’s whats going down on WhatsApp today.

On WhatsApp’s encrypted platform some of Westminster’s female staff have created a secret group. In the group furious researchers, secretaries and personal aides have named a number of sex-pests.

All of them MPs.

While many of those accused are regarded as “the usual old suspects” others are much younger MPs.

Included on WhatsApp’s list of deviants are some of the nation’s most well known politicos. Among them are ex-Cabinet Ministers, sen­ior frontbenchers (from both Tor­y and Labour) and members of the House of Lords.

Resignations To Follow

A ‘source’ has suggested that the first MP will be outed this weekend and we should “expect a number of resignations to follow”.

On hearing of the WhatsApp list Baroness Jenkin, a close friend of Theresa May, said:

“Men used to hit on you all the time. They would say, ‘I had a dream about you last night’. These things affect people differently.”

And former Cabinet minister Maria Miller claimed:

“I experienced far more sexual harassment as an MP than in my 20-year ca­reer in advertising and marketing.”

There are two industries that hate to see their dirty laundry aired in public. Show business and politics.

Now, following revelations about film mogul Harvey Weinstein, the political sexual harassment canoe begins it’s journey up shit creek.

I’m not sure if this list of deviant MPs will be included in the next revision of the Encyclopedia of Rape Culture. Including it there seems like a gimme.

Following hideous Harvey’s fall from grace it’s been suggested that many men of power are flawed with selfish double standards. These type of men often blame their imperfections on inner demons.

Demons are a sympathetic way to characterise a man’s faults. Only gamblers, drug addicts and married men caught with their pants down have demons.

They’d have you believe that, short of a criminal conviction for wanton ejaculatory behaviour, everyone else is a mere sinner.

God forgives sinners. These men will ask you to forgive them too.

If, after hearing their pathetic excuses, you believe that God has forgiven these men, trust me – he hasn’t.


Prince Harry Introduces Meghan To The Queen.

Prince harry, Meghan Markle-queen-engaementBack in 2014 Royal watchers thought that after a string of flings Prince Harry had finally found his true love. Indeed, every royal column in every British newspaper was reporting how the 29-year old prince was dating Cressida Bonas, an actress, dancer and model.

However just a few months later sad news was announced. Royal columnists were reporting that despite a thousand impending marriage forecasts, Prince Harry and Cressida had split.

On hearing the news many Royal watchers believed there was no way the Prince’s broken heart could ever be mended. Poor Harry was lost and would probably never feel a woman’s gentle touch ever again.

But no, all the royal watchers were wrong.

Following his split from Cressida Prince Harry put his head down and went about his Royal duties with renewed vigour. Yes, Harry was done with pesky vixens acting like ladies just for a chance to join his beloved monarchy.

So Harry grew a beard and went safariing in Africa. Once there he hugged an elephant. He also visited President Obama in America who asked him about ‘ginger’ people. Was there anything he needed to fear?

Harry also created the Invictus Games and co-founded the ‘Minds Together’ program with his brother William.

Yes, Prince Harry was definitely on a mission to be remembered for all the good things he’s done for this world.

When Harry Met Markle.

It’s not clear when in 2016 Prince Harry first met Meghan Markle – another actress, dancer and model.

Many say that the pair were introduced by her friend the Soho House consultant Marcus Anderson.

What follows is an editorial decision to focus on Miss Markle’s role as wife to a prince rather than a Hollywood starlet on a mission.

Meghan Markle has all the right credentials

It’s no surprise that the Royal propaganda machine has been hard at work on a ‘Like Meghan Markle’ campaign.

Yes indeed. For the past few months the royal PR machine has ensured that the mainstream press have all been typing off the same hymn sheet. After all Fleet Street requires Royal access.

Dutiful article has followed dutiful article all detailing the good things that Meghan has done in this world. The public has the right to know that in between her workouts and occasional casting calls Meghan works for a number of global charities and…. erm, hmm, err, finks …. that’s it I’m afraid.

Anyway, the latest news is that last Thursday a Ford Galaxy with blacked out windows was waved through the gates of Buckingham Palace. It stopped at the Queen’s private entrance. It is believed that Prince Harry was officially introducing his American actress girlfriend to his grandmother.

Inevitably tongues are now wagging at the prospect of a royal engagement.

However, in some circles the fact that a member of the Royal family might marry an American divorcee is still considered quite a scandal. After all a Windsor taking up with a divorced lady isn’t without precedent.

Oh I don’t know…it’s easy to cast critical dispersions at the royal family. That is until we’re forced to admit that we’ve all helped put families like the Kardashians on the same throne of scandal.

Mostly the royals do good deeds and raise money for proper causes. They try to hide their imperfections. They’re not bad people. Adding a divorcee to the royal mix might be a good thing.

Were I the queen, I’d order some extra-marital royal dating pronto.


White Widow – Sally Jones Silenced.

Sally Jones, White Widow, Terrosrist,dead,news,media,images

It has been reported today that ISIS recruitment boss Sally Jones has been killed. Jones was killed by a Predator missile as she tried to flee the terror group’s stronghold in Al-Raqqah.

It’s no surprise that Sally Jones rose high on the Pentagon’s ‘kill list’ and  became Britain’s most-wanted woman.

Here’s why.

Sally Jones was a muslim convert who swapped Britain for ISIS back in 2013, alongside her toy-boy lover and jihadi hacker Junaid Hussain.

In 2015 Hussain was killed in a US drone strike and from that day forth the former beautician from Kent became known as ‘The White Widow.’

As the White Widow Jones began a recruitment drive for ISIS’s secret Anwar al-Awlaki battalion. The female wing. She was responsible for the training of terror recruits and match-making them to their future jihadist husbands.

It remains unclear how many of these deluded and fallacious young women the White Widow seduced into joining ISIS. Telling young girls that they’re wanted, needed and desired will allure many.

What the White Widow didn’t tell her recruits was that employment by ISIS didn’t include a pension plan, holiday entitlement nor an engagement ring.

Now, as the caliphate crumbles, the survivors emerge. They tell horrifying tales of how the ‘Real Housewives of ISIS’ were deceived.

Many of their stories reveal how the seekers of paradise arrived in Syria only to have their terrified little faces covered in black burqa bonnets rather than the matrimonial makeup they’d been expecting.

Many found themselves in bombed out kitchens chained to radiators while evil ‘chandlers of copulation’ sold them to the highest bidder.

Winning The War On Terror?

I guess you’re never going to defeat the terrorists with kisses. Despite all our laws and armies we have failed to stop susceptible teens from hooking up with the bad guys.

What the chipper revolutionaries of ISIS can’t fathom is that the war against terrorism will be won with words, satire and mocking. Not bombs.

Whilst you may think that this article alludes to being edgy it’s true purpose is to send a message.

Yes, a few skilfully chosen words are worth a thousand disenfranchised nomads.

Here’s A Message To Terrorists Everywhere…


We are the World. Can’t you see that terrorists. You’ve lost. We have over a hundred countries from which our word slingers are writing for fame and fortune.

You can’t fight that kind of primordial power with a few rusty machetes and robes that could use a good washing.

We win. Words win. The World wins.

Take some time to think about that the next time you’re raping young girls in the name of religion.

Editors Note:

We don’t often publish terrorist related content here on NMi. Sometimes one has no choice but to speak out. It will never be a terrorist bomb that defeats us, it will be our modern day infatuation with not hurting people’s feelings.

That’s not me being flippant, that’s how it’s going down.