Leonie Granger: At the Old Bailey yesterday 25 year-old model, Leonie Granger stood in the dock. When the sound of GUILTY YOUR HONOUR resounded across the court room Leonie knew those terrible words would send her to jail.
Leonie was furious. As a guard led her away she shouted,“Are you fucking mad!”at the jury.
Leonie wasn’t in court for sloppy drunk driving. No, Leonie was in court for man slaughter which is pretty damn serious.
During the hearing, prosectors told how Leonie had lured a professional gambler to his death. The court heard how Leonie had seduced professional poker player, Mehmet Hassan at the Palm Beach casino in Mayfair, London.
The jury heard that after leaving the casino Leonie went to Hassan’s flat in North London. They also heard how her boyfriend, Kyrron Jackson and Nicolas Chandler were waiting for them. The court was told how the two men then kicked Mr Hassan to death before running off with his £3000 winnings. [click to continue…]
Burberry of London: Cara Delevingne is rapid tonguing her way through social media. And she’s taking her clients with her.
Cara joined Snapchat yesterday and then told her client, Burberry of London that they’d make more intimate friendships if she posed for them in her bathroom and then ‘snapchatted’ that mess to the world.
As with all retail brands Burberry fell for idea. They loved it. They thought it was be ‘fab-a-doodle-hoot-el-hyma’ to be associated with a physically active model hiding behind her imperfections and pulling silly faces for a camera-fone. Just as long as the silly faces didn’t give the appearance that a cockroach had just scurried up the model’s rectum. Naturally.
Shit, this lesbian vampire has an unquenchable thirst for stupid tweets and selfies. Burberry have bought into this nonsense because it’s clearly the way to sell tartan coats to the Americans. They have a show at the Griffith Obersvatory in Los Angeles on Thursday. [click to continue…]
Helena Christensen helped invent the word “supermodel.” That was over twenty years ago. Today Helena is 46 and she still looks terrific in a bikini.
I was going to say that Helena looks better than some models half her age, but then I really want to bang some models half her age. I don’t want to burn my bridges.
I like Helena Christensen. Most people couldn’t handle a supermodel with such sex appeal. I wouldn’t mind trying though. At forty six, Helena seems to know exactly who she is. A hard working super model with spectacular tits.
That’s not all she is. Helena does other things besides super-modelling, but nobody cares. Okay okay, she likes to work out in a dirty boxing gym and she’s a damned good photographer.
One question: Where did Helena Christensen learn to pose like this? I can barely manage a default smile for a photograph. I always feel awkward and then end up looking like a rent boy in a sex toy brochure. I sure as hell can’t pose. [click to continue…]
I think feeding babies breast milk is especially smart. I know about important things like this. And no, I didn’t study the subject at school nor did I gain my knowledge through professional experience, I just know stuff.
Erica Leeder knows all about this stuff too and she’s Australian! Yes, Erica knows that babies love breast milk from their organic mums. It’s natural, wholesome, full of vitamins and tastes fab-you-lush.
Sounds great. Only thing is, the tortured convolutions of female equality have taken an entirely different path down in Australia. And I don’t mean they’ve discovered breast pump fetish porn either. I know, I’m disgressing all over the place again…
Lets get back on point. Here’s the story. [click to continue…]
SELFIES: There is no force more powerful force than the power of a selfie. With a selfie you can unleash the beast that lives within social media. A picture in time, mostly private but you can never know where your selfie will turn up.
People never stop chiding the tools who think that a public toilet is the perfect backdrop for a selfie. That is exactly the kind of loathsome selfie which encapsulates all that is wrong with selfies today. Obviously rampant STDs are now a thing of the past. Selfies rule. Get a shovel and go dig something not particularly useful. It’s not that hard.
Technically many selfies aren’t selfies at all, many have been taken by someone else. But technically I don’t give a shit, because one day this world is going to end and a new alien species will arrive and repopulate the Earth. What they’ll learn about us will be from a billion photos taken by asshole teenagers all holding camera-fones in front of their faces.
But y’know, if more selfies looked like that one above (Irina Shayk) then maybe I wouldn’t be so negative about the stupid trends people are following these days. [click to continue…]
Royal Birth Two: All you taxpaying peasants had better get a second job because the Duchess of Cambridge is hard pressed for cash this month.
It’s true! The Duchess is desperately hard up right now and she really does need some money. She needs some right now and a little of yours will do very nicely indeed. Thankyouverymuch!
In fact Duchess Catherine is so hard up for cash that she’s had to be given a ‘royalty’ discount on her Royal birth delivery fees which are due to St Mary’s Hospital in London. Duchess Catherine is booked into the hospital for the second Royal birth of the century next week.
The Duchess’s suite of two rooms will cost (taxpayers?) around £6,000 a-night plus her consultant’s birthing fees of £6,000.
That means the cost of Royal Birth Two will be in the region of £12,000. Jesus Mary and Joseph! I could have a week’s holiday in Bournmouth for that!
This heartbreaking news has been revealed by the MailOnline so yes peasants one and all go get that second job. Do it now and then donate donate donate!
And since we’re talking about donating take a look at this picture below! [click to continue…]