White Widow – Sally Jones Silenced.

Sally Jones, White Widow, Terrosrist,dead,news,media,images

It has been reported today that ISIS recruitment boss Sally Jones has been killed. Jones was killed by a Predator missile as she tried to flee the terror group’s stronghold in Al-Raqqah.

It’s no surprise that Sally Jones rose high on the Pentagon’s ‘kill list’ and  became Britain’s most-wanted woman.

Here’s why.

Sally Jones was a muslim convert who swapped Britain for ISIS back in 2013, alongside her toy-boy lover and jihadi hacker Junaid Hussain.

In 2015 Hussain was killed in a US drone strike and from that day forth the former beautician from Kent became known as ‘The White Widow.’

As the White Widow Jones began a recruitment drive for ISIS’s secret Anwar al-Awlaki battalion. The female wing. She was responsible for the training of terror recruits and match-making them to their future jihadist husbands.

It remains unclear how many of these deluded and fallacious young women the White Widow seduced into joining ISIS. Telling young girls that they’re wanted, needed and desired will allure many.

What the White Widow didn’t tell her recruits was that employment by ISIS didn’t include a pension plan, holiday entitlement nor an engagement ring.

Now, as the caliphate crumbles, the survivors emerge. They tell horrifying tales of how the ‘Real Housewives of ISIS’ were deceived.

Many of their stories reveal how the seekers of paradise arrived in Syria only to have their terrified little faces covered in black burqa bonnets rather than the matrimonial makeup they’d been expecting.

Many found themselves in bombed out kitchens chained to radiators while evil ‘chandlers of copulation’ sold them to the highest bidder.

Winning The War On Terror?

I guess you’re never going to defeat the terrorists with kisses. Despite all our laws and armies we have failed to stop susceptible teens from hooking up with the bad guys.

What the chipper revolutionaries of ISIS can’t fathom is that the war against terrorism will be won with words, satire and mocking. Not bombs.

Whilst you may think that this article alludes to being edgy it’s true purpose is to send a message.

Yes, a few skilfully chosen words are worth a thousand disenfranchised nomads.

Here’s A Message To Terrorists Everywhere…


We are the World. Can’t you see that terrorists. You’ve lost. We have over a hundred countries from which our word slingers are writing for fame and fortune.

You can’t fight that kind of primordial power with a few rusty machetes and robes that could use a good washing.

We win. Words win. The World wins.

Take some time to think about that the next time you’re raping young girls in the name of religion.

Editors Note:

We don’t often publish terrorist related content here on NMi. Sometimes one has no choice but to speak out. It will never be a terrorist bomb that defeats us, it will be our modern day infatuation with not hurting people’s feelings.

That’s not me being flippant, that’s how it’s going down.


Hideous Harvey: Weinstein Brother Accused Of Talking.

Harvey Weinstein, allegations, source,bob Weinstein,news,media,images,When a highly successful man hides a disreputable life behind his public persona, a million people say, ‘I told you so’ even though they’d never told a soul. And so it came to pass for Hideous Harvey Weinstein.

After the New York Times published a scathing, indepth article about Harvey Weinstein several decades of pay-to-play treatment of actresses and female employees finally came to light.

The NY Times exposé went all the way back to 1997, when Hideous Harvey was a figurative giant in Hollywood. Now, in just a few days, these ‘muckety muck’ stories have travelled all the way from New York to front page of the Daily Mail.

One such story is that of Hollywood actress, Ashley Judd. She recalls being summoned to Weinstein’s hotel room for what she thought was a casting session. Once inside the room Weinstein asked her to give him a massage and then watch him take a shower. Who could possibly refuse?

Don’t think that Ashley Judd’s tale of patriarchal woe is the only one. No, the NY Times have interviewed dozens more women. Several women went on record, charging Weinstein with similar hotel room massage offers in exchange for help with their careers.

Who exposed Weinstein?

Like politics, the entertainment industry detests having it’s dirty laundry aired in public. They don’t see this kind of publicity as helpful.

It’s no surprise then that over the years Hideous Harvey was aided and abetted by many. His unravelling has exposed an entire matrix of cover-up partnerships. Not only has Hollywood remained silent, the Fourth Estate has been covering up for Weinstein for years.

Reports are suggesting that Weinstein bought reporters and paid publications for advertising in order to ensure he was never outed. Maybe Hideous Harvey should have paid the NY Times a little more.

So, after decades of sickening behavior toward women, who talked?

Sibling Rivalry

Well sibling rivalry is nothing if it isn’t a bitch. Page Six has reported that Hideous Harvey’s downfall may have come courtesy of his brother Bob Weinstein.

Apparently a “former staffer” at Weinstein’s company says that Bob, who co-founded The Weinstein Company, may have exposed Hideous Harvey as a piggish lech in order to take over their company.

Naturally Bob Weinstein has denied the allegations telling TMZ,

“ My brother Harvey is obviously a very sick man. I’ve urged him to seek immediate professional help because he is in dire need of it. His remorse and apologies to the victims of his abuse are hollow. He said he would go away for help and has yet to do so.

He has proven himself to be a world class liar and now rather than seeking help he is looking to blame others. His assertion is categorically untrue from A to Z.

I pray he gets the help that he needs and I believe that it is him behind all of these stories to distract from his own failure to get help.”

More News

In other Hideous Harvey news, The New York Times reports that Weinstein’s leave of absence from the company is now being described as indefinite.”

Also, Hideous Harvey’s wife, Georgina Chapman, has announced that she is leaving the movie mogul for good. 

More bad news came for Hideous Harvey yesterday when his attorney Lisa Bloom, who was on his damage control team, resigned. She announced she was jumping off the sinking ship as more Hideous Harvey news was revealed by Fox.

Ironically Lisa Bloom has made a career representing victims of sexual abuse.


Theresa May Coughs Her Way To A P45.

Theresa May, Tory Party, conference, coughing, news, media, images,As a general rule, a political leader should avoid delivering a speech that even an eight year old can mock. Yesterday, at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester, Theresa May did just that.

Yes, Theresa May has probably delivered the most disastrous conference speech in British political history.

During her hour long speech our esteemed Prime Minister suffered a prolonged coughing fit. Cue knight in shining armour Philip Hammond. Like a glorious example of gentlemanly conduct he leapt from his seat and handed Theresa a lozenge.

What a good fellow Hammond is turning out to be but unfortunately like most things Phillip does, it didn’t work out… Theresa’s coughing fit continued.

Today the media are treating Theresa’s coughing fit as a huge story, one to turn politics on it’s head!

Oh I know, Theresa had a coughing fit during her speech, so what? I had the hiccups for 3 days in a row last week. How’d the media miss that story?

Anyway moving on….

A few minutes later things turned from bad to worse when comedian Simon Brodkin managed to breach security. Like a slivering jellyfish he slide up to the podium and handed the now struggling party leader a fake P45 – saying, ‘Boris Johnson told me to.’

Instead of retorting, “Why thank you, Photoshop made simple, how quaint, now F-Off” Theresa accepted the fake document and continued her sputtering to the party faithful.

F-Off? What an appropriate phrase that’s turned out to be because guess what happened next? That’s right, an F in the party slogan on the wall behind Theresa suddenly fell to the floor.

Indeed this was a tumbling prophecy of impending doom – an F off the wall.

It’s no surprise that Twitter went into meltdown. With the hashtag  trending like a celebrity up-skirt the comedians did what they do best – hating themselves. No, sorry, making jokes.

 Theresa May’s speech is what happens when you give the computer generated voice that calls the floors in the Premier Inn lift more words to say.

‘Theresa May’s fight to survive was broadcast from conference live; She had a bad cough. The wall said F off and May got a P45’.

‘Even Theresa May can’t swallow the bullshit within her speech’. 

Who To Vote For…

The fact is that before the dramatic scenes unfolded in Manchester, Mrs May had been making a bold bid to turn the tables on Labour by unveiling a series of policies designed to show the Tories are on the side of hard-working families.

This was a golden opportunity for the Conservative party to chip away at Jeremy Corbyn’s lead while the voters are still trying to work out which political leader is the devil.

It failed.

Anyway since we’re talking of the devil. Socialism – let’s see, do we really support Jeremy Corbyn who wants to keep us flush with monopoly money?

Not really, I mean putting Jeremy in charge is akin to putting your teenage daughter in charge of the family credit card. One’s only response is to drive Uber nights to cover the cost.

On the other hand I’m reluctantly forced to admire Theresa’s dreams of a new and caring society. Yes, before you get your first crappy job or unwanted pregnancy or lousy marriage or mortgage or cancer, this is the time to dream of a perfect world.

However politics isn’t about childish dreams. No, it’s about manifestoes being dumped in the dustbin of reality.


Having taken a somewhat sardonic approach to the writing of this story I cannot leave it without mentioning the ongoing struggle for supremacy of the Tory Party.

There is a certain Machiavellian ruthlessness in the devious blonde bumbler, Boris Johnson. He seems to encourage the maxim that “the ends justify the means”, even if the means are rather unsavory. This rather anthropomorphic fellow with a penchant for oversized jackets is, in fact, a sly, crafty and quick opponent who, with his guile, charm and resourcefulness will catapult his mistress to back benches for eternity.

I’m sorry but you’re on your own here, Theresa.


LAS VEGAS – This Has To Stop!

Las Vegas, Shooting, news, media, images,LAS VEGAS is an amazing city. Strippers, recreational drug users and happy gamblers – all breathing the stale smell of seafood over their companions. Yes, how they all enjoy this vibrant city of pure and ecstatic joy.

Sadly that wasn’t the case for a crowd of Las Vegas concert goers last Sunday night. While enjoying an evening out with friends and family, thousands were forced to flee when a gun-toting lunatic targeted them with automatic gun-fire.

It took Stephen Paddock just eleven minutes to unleash a horror of unimaginable proportion which killed 59 and seriously injured more than 500.

It’s got to the point where we no longer wake up to the annoying sound of our iPhone alarms. We wake up to CNN telling us that yet another horrific act, which should never have happened, has happened.

“This has got to stop!”

Remember in 2012 when mentally disturbed Adam Lanza shot and killed 20 children at Sandy Hook elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. All across America the voice of the people cried out, “This has got to stop!”

It hasn’t stopped.

Remember last summer when a gunman opened fire at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida? Omar Mateen, a 29-year-old from Fort Pierce killed 49 people and injured dozens more.

Once again, everyone shouted, “This has got to stop!”

It hasn’t stopped.

No, it hasn’t stopped and now the massacre in Las Vegas has become the deadliest mass shooting in modern American history.


What the Politicos are saying

The inevitable “I told you so” gun control arguments are now being voiced by American politicians. Ever since the 2012 Sandy Hook shooting senators from Connecticut have been especially outspoken about gun control. On Monday they were the first to issue statements.

Sen. Chris Murphy, D-Conn said in a statement;

“Nowhere but America do horrific large-scale mass shootings happen with this degree of regularity. This has to stop. It is positively infuriating that my colleagues in Congress are so afraid of the gun industry that they pretend there aren’t public policy responses to this epidemic.

The thoughts and prayers of politicians are cruelly hollow if they are paired with legislative indifference. It’s time for Congress to get off its ass and do something.”

Connecticut’s other Democratic senator, Richard Blumenthal, issued a similar statement.

“This has to stop! It has been barely a year since what was previously the largest mass shooting in American history – the deadly attack at Pulse nightclub. Still, Congress refuses to act. I am more than frustrated, I am furious!” 

Who needs a machine gun?

It has been estimated that American civilians own 310 million firearms. 

Since the 1990s, debates regarding gun violence in the U.S. have been characterized by concerns over the right to bear arms. These concerns have caused conflict between those supporting the rights afforded to them by the second amendment of the U.S. constitution and those responsible for preventing crime and death being caused to US citizens.

In this post Las Vegas shooting world, are we to expect the American public to accept that any 9mm toting lunatic should be allowed to meet his maker in a blaze of glory? It’s certainly an area of conflict between those loyal to the Star Spangled Banner and the National Rifle Association who are nothing but an argumentative bunch of red necks.

Now, besides Rambo, who the hell else needs a machine gun to remove joy from our world?

There are lessons to be learned here. After all we should remember that Rambo took most of his enemies down with awesome drop kicks and the prodding of orifices with his very cold hands. 



Hugh Hefner, Crystal Harris, playboy, We all know how HUGH HEFNER liked to walk around in his pyjamas…. while wearing a captain’s hat. We also know that he liked to pay playmates to be his wife. That should be all we need to know. But it’s not.

Marrying a man like Hugh Hefner is a gold-diggers dream come true. After all you could end up marrying a giant windbag like Boris Johnson.

Dreams do come true.

Crystal – the 31-year-old widow of Hugh Hefner – was married to the 91 year-old Playboy mogul for almost five years. Many would say she deserves compensation for that. I mean, keeping her wrinkly old robe-wrapped husband warm at night can’t have been easy.

Anyway, if the mainstream media are to be believed then the only reward Crystal Hefner will get from her marriage is a famous last name.

What some of the papers have said is that after they married Crystal’s name was never mentioned in Hefner’s last will and testimony. The press have suggested that all Crystal will receive from Hugh’s estate is a complimentary Uber ride on the day she’s evicted from his house.

But that’s not the whole story….

A happy ending.

We all know that every story has a happy ending. And if it’s not a happy ending, then it’s not the end of the story

And so it came to pass. According to UsWeekly Hefner and his third wife signed an “ironclad” prenup (mood killer!) before they married in December 2012.

It seems as quickly as Hugh could say “I Do” this prenup came into force. It ensured that Crystal would be adequately provided for after he died.

The contract included the provision of a luxury home and several million dollars.

TMZ are saying that they seen the deed to a Hollywood Hills home which is held in a trust. The trust is controlled by… that’s right – Crystal Hefner.

And there’s more happy ending … the prenup also included a lump sum payout of $5 million.

Reeeesult:  Gold-digger 1 – 0 Press

Let’s face it, Hugh Hefner was always a bit of a weirdo so I wouldn’t put it past him to have left Crystal four peacocks and his collection of house slippers.

And finally here’s a clip from the upcoming film – The Christy Hefner Life Story


Wayne Rooney Banned For Drunk Driving.

Wayne Rooney - Drunk driving - court -convictedWAYNE ROONEY must believe that if OJ Simpson got away with murder, then he could get away with drunk driving. Unfortunately on September 1st he found out otherwise.

While his wife, Coleen, was on holiday in Spain Wayne Rooney had a night out. He went to the Bubble Room and the Symposium, a late-night cocktail bar in Wilmslow. After dancing on tables and singing along to Oasis songs Wayne left with 29-year-old office worker, Laura Simpson.

Once outside they jumped into her black Volkswagen Beetle and headed for her place. Wayne decided to drive.

Well, it’s easier to hide a porn riddled browser history than a drunken footballer. A few minutes later Wayne was pulled over by Cheshire Police.

The officers told Wayne to get out of the car and guess what happened next? Yes, that’s right…. the officer smelt post-bender seepage all over Wayne’s breath.

Naturally enough the officer then breathalysed Wayne and to his surprise (not), discovered his alcohol level was 104 micrograms for every 100 millilitres of breath. That’s almost three times the legal limit. The drink-drive limit in England and Wales is 35 micrograms per 100 millilitres of breath.

Wayne was then arrested and spent the rest of the night in a concrete cell shivering like a chihuahua.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and the former England captain appeared at Stockport Magistrates’ Court to answer for his crime.

After pleading guilty as charged Wayne Rooney was banned from driving for two years while being ordered to pay £170 in court costs. He was also given a 12-month community order and instructed to perform 100 hours of unpaid work.

Not Enough?

What kind of a judge gives a man earning £150k per week 100 hours of community service and fines his stupid ass just £170? What the hell is wrong with that judge?

How can that be fair? The judge could have fined him 200k and he’d still be living a life of opulence and luxury.

Why not order Rooney to dance around in his underwear at a Everton game. Or put him in a metal can with a bunch of lit fireworks.

Alternatively the judge could have hung him. I mean how much does a good rope cost nowadays, eight pounds?

Wayne is rapidly becoming one of the most popular public nuisances in history. If only Oasis had a song for that…