The Daily Mirror have just reminded their readers that Prince George will be celebrating his second birthday tomorrow.
The tabloid’s Royal news team have clearly lathered themselves into a collective frenzy today because guess what? That’s right, the palace are going to present the nations royal fandom with an entirely new picture of the Royal blessed one. A picture that’s never been seen before.
The illustrious Nazi hunters over at the Sun probably probably won’t see hide nor hair of this over-hyped infant tomorrow given their penchant for biting the hand that feeds them. Lets face it the Sun newspaper now walk an entirely different path when it comes to royal germalism.
So, tomorrow British peons will have some brand new pixels of Prince George to jump up and down about. Oh wowzeree. I’m so excited. In fact so damned excited am I that I’m gonna build a fire at the bottom of my garden – then I’ll tip the contents of our family’s swear box into the flames – then I’ll forge a beautiful limited edition commemorative coin!
Well why not? A commemorative coin to celebrate the fact that Prince George is about to become as royally useless as the rest of the British royal family.
One day Prince George might go to work and try to make his existence worthwhile. Then again maybe he won’t. After all he’s already richer than a gay guy with a Rolex and Guccis.
However, there is one thing that Prince George will definitely do. It’s about as inevitable as the coming of the next apocalypse. Eventually Prince George will be introduced to a noble mingetroll who will help him cut ribbons at supermarkets, wave at peasants and stand around looking regal.
I mean, isn’t that what royalty is born to do.
If you think about it Prince George and his entire family are basically on welfare and state benefits. They live completely off the British tax payer and don’t have jobs. We pay our taxes so these lazy inbreds can suckle off the British teat.
Us Brits are obsessed with the royal family. By ‘us’ I mean you, not me. You read about this Royal toddler almost as much as Kim Kardashian’s swelling thorax.
Every year tourists spend tons of shekels coming to gawp at these pasty white idiots. The TV ratings for an unfolding royal event rise to astronomical levels in spite of the fact that a growing number of our people are having to feed their families courtesy of food banks.
I guess after this royal rhubarb pie has finished opening all his presents and retired to his royal nursery then his father, Prince William will have to return to work, which will be good for him, because working makes a man virile and proud.
As opposed to prematurely bald and constipated.
Anyway, talking of new pictures….
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