Amy Winehouse

How Blake Fielder-Civil Heard Amy Winehouse Calling Him To Heaven.

by Mike D.W August 12, 2012

Last week, Blake Fielder-Civil, the guardian of Amy Winehouse’s bong, was lying on a marble slab in front of death’s door after a booze and herion binge had put him in a coma. So here’s some news to make your soul twitch! Blake is still aliiiiiive!!! Blake’s mum Georgette says Wino is to blame for trying to [...]

Keep reading

Blake Fielder-Civil On Life Support Machine…. (well say something then.)

by Mike D.W August 9, 2012

Blake Fielder-Civil is hearing the sound of a dozen tortured souls screaming for mercy from a bottomless pit called hell right now. In case you didn’t know Blake is the world’s most famous crack-head mess after Pete Doherty and shot to fame after he married Amy Winehouse. Anyway lets get to the point of the story. [...]

Keep reading

Pete Doherty Is A Beautiful Person.

by Mike D.W May 6, 2012

Stick a thermometer in the ground and tell me if hell has frozen over. Seriously, why doesn’t Pete Doherty just sit in his chair and suck the shit out of his nails like a good little crackhead instead of constantly acting the bad-ass wherever he goes. Whenever we’re not looking, Pete’s either sticking his hand in [...]

Keep reading

Amy Winehouse: Toxicology reports say no no no.

by Mike D.W August 23, 2011

Amy Winehouse’s long awaited toxicology report is in. Camden’s drug barons can relax as it seems they are not responsible for Amy’s early demise. If this report were attached to a breathalyzer test then Amy passed it with a capital P as there were no signs of illegal drugs in her system – says the report. [...]

Keep reading

Amy’s crack house robbed.

by Mike D.W August 11, 2011

I’ve been robbed today, robbed of what little faith I had left in humanity after I heard that some meth smoking grandchild of a cheap Camden landlord has just robbed Amy Winehouse’s home. Bringing the countries robbing hoods to justice seems pretty simple to me. E Bay that’s where you’ll catch most of them. I know I [...]

Keep reading

Mirror Mirror on the wall who’s the fairest of them all – Amy Winehouse’s daughter?

by Mike D.W July 31, 2011

Tina Weaver, the editor of the Sunday Mirror still believes in fairies gnomes and goblins, keeps care bears under her desk and is an avid collector of My little Pony comics. Either that or she’s high as a Christmas goose. This morning Tina is expecting us all to believe in her front page exclusive – Amy [...]

Keep reading

Amy Winehouse: ‘Goodnight, my angel. Sleep tight.’

by Mike D.W July 26, 2011

What to say, what to say. Amy Winehouse, cremated this afternoon. We’ll never know what her father Mitch said today apart from he ended his eulogy by whispering, “Goodnight, my angel. Sleep tight” – to a dead daughter. If you’re not a father to a daughter, then you might not understand what that meant. I have [...]

Keep reading

Amy Winehouse: An open letter to the crack dealers of Camden Town

by Mike D.W July 26, 2011

It was really hard to find a picture of Amy winehouse’s drug dealers. I searched everywhere attracting scum as I went. I thought scum was a crack dealers life, his work, his art. When it comes right down to it, scum is what made them rich. These two (above) were convicted of suppling crack- cocaine to Amy [...]

Keep reading

RIP Amy Winehouse 1983-2011

by Mike D.W July 23, 2011

You’ll have heard by now that Amy Winehouse was found dead in her north London home this afternoon. At just 27 years old. All the news stations have been carrying the story so there’s not much I can add here to their obituaries. Amy’s U.S. record label issued a statement which read: ‘We are deeply [...]

Keep reading

Amy in Belgrade, Winehouse by name…..

by Mike D.W June 20, 2011

Welcome to Just Friends Belgrade. Amy Winehouse drunk most of Belgrade this weekend before giving her first live appearance since 2009. If it was anyone else I’d be thinking ‘singer pretending to be drunk’ to get more attention. Amy Winehouse drunk-ing around on stage is only one on a list of things that she’s done recently. [...]

Keep reading

Amy Winehouse: Smart monkey says Quit or Die.

by Mike D.W May 31, 2011

If Gordon Smart over at the Sun thinks getting jiggy with the funnies is working for him then I might as well bend over and give the inland revenue a cheek full of no-no’s. The net result’s the same, nobody laughs and I go to jail. (Between here and the next paragraph I really need [...]

Keep reading

What Amy did on her way to rehab.

by Mike D.W May 27, 2011

What exactly IS rehab? I heard it’s a place where rancid booze soaked meth toking individuals leaking gunk from every puss soaked pore go and sit in a chair and pick shit out of their nails like good little crack-heads. Is that what rehab is for? I’ve never been to rehab so I don’t know. But I [...]

Keep reading

Amy WineHouse: And her fag ash cleavage.

by Mike D.W October 8, 2010

Give me enough free booze and my cab fare and I promise I’ll do it. And by the looks of it I wouldn’t be the first either. Here’s what yah get for two bottles of JD with coke to float. I want the JD first, the cab waiting, engine running. ‘Cos when ‘slap a lot’ [...]

Keep reading

← Previous Entries