angelina jolie

Angelina’s talking head.

06.12.2011

What kind of movie icon goes out in the most boring little black dress ever made? Angelina Jolie is who and here she is posed up for Newsweek magazine looking like she’s going to dinner at the White House. On closer inspection now I realize she isn’t wearing a little black dress at all. So, [...]

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Angelina secret drinker.

23.11.2011

I know that Angelina Jolie can summon up her bulging forehead vein to speak for itself, but as I happen to love the sound of my own voice I thought I might pay tribute to the evil one by saying (on behalf of wardrobe drinkers everywhere), that if you can’t get drunk at home then you [...]

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Angelina Jolie caught cheating in lesbian harem.

05.05.2011

Remember David Beckham and those $10,000 nights with hooker Irma Nicci? The tale of David’s lust filled trysts with Irma was told by those media terrors over at Intouch weekly. You remember how Becks sued those sorry asses all the way to LA and back. And lost. Who knows anything about anything anymore. Should we [...]

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Angelina Jolie: Star says she’s thinking of using heroin.

06.01.2011

My old Dad used to tell me “If the truth sounds like a lie don’t tell it”. If Star Magazine ever want to be taken seriously they’ll need to learn that. This week Star Magazine have fronted a story that would have you believe Angelina Jolie sleeps on a heroin mattress and would drink cement [...]

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Brangelina attend Tourist premiere in NYC, man dies of boredom in London

07.12.2010

Film premiers have always bored me, they did when I attended them as a photographer and they do now that I’m a writer. However, everyone else seems to have published a few words to accompany photographic evidence of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie attending The Tourist premiere in NYC last night. I thought I may [...]

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Anelina Jolie is InTouch weekly but a bad mother.

15.10.2010

REMEMBER INTOUCH MAGAZINE AND DAVID BECKHAM’s HOOKERS? THIS WEEK INTOUCH HAVE FRONT COVERED Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in a nannies ‘kiss and tell’ exposé. This mag must have found an out of work illegal to bolt up their front doors, then stand outside holding an axe whilst wearing a T shirt saying WRIT SERVERS NOT [...]

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Hot Slut of the Day – Angelina Jolie

09.09.2010

“Hot Slut of the Day” is Angelina Jolie. If you don’t know why Saint Angie is oozing those hotty slutty juices today then you need to stop sleeping in your garage, wipe your hands on a wall and start sending crank messages to Jennifer Aniston at Match.com, cos everyone knows that Angelina Jolie is “Hot [...]