cheryl cole

Dear Simon, Love Cheryl.

21.01.2012

If you ever want your soul crushed in 10-seconds or less then the dream mashing monster for you has gotta be Simon Cowell. If a reality show judge can’t tell you that you suck, then who can. When Cheryl Cole’s name was being thrown around as a judge for the American version of X-Factor Simon bestowed the [...]

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Lily Allen Tweet Slaps Cheryl Cole.

05.01.2012

I can thank Lily Allen for making me into a HUGE fan of the Diva Mama. Only Lily could make war with one arm, while making motherly love with the other. Yes, Lily and the ‘Diva-Plated Antichrist’ are one and the same. Lily took her claws out yesterday to tweet out an airborne cupcake for Cheryl [...]

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Cheryl Weeps Over Death of Pat Butcher.

02.01.2012

If you threw Cheryl Cole into a tub full of vodka, then dipped her into bowl of pure refined Columbian-grade ‘sugar’ she’d still come out tasting like the biggest waste of time on the web. I’m sorry to post two articles in a row from the Girls Aloud #fail draw and I can’t actually believe I’m even posting [...]

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There’s No Christmas Spirit at Cheryl’s.

19.12.2011

This story brings new meaning to Christmas spirit. Cheryl Cole’s Christmas dinner will be served with no spirit at all. Yes, Cheryl is laying on Christmas dinner for her Girls Aloud band mates but there’ll not be an Eggnog in sight as Cheryl thinks Sarah Harding is too fresh from rehab to drink anything any stronger [...]

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Cheryl Cole: American History X

14.12.2011

Never mind the age gap, at 21 young American Patrizio Teezio Pigliapoco has found himself in the play pen next to Cheryl Cole’s master dungeon suite. Yes, according to some Cheryl has just taken toy-boy to the next phase today. So who’s Cheryl’s toy boy again? Patrizio is a young Los Angeles based music producer working for Sony BMG [...]

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Cheryl Cole: Return of the bum boob babe.

06.12.2011

What in the name of no-no fairies is this? Cheryl Cole looks like she should be hanging on a rack in a transvestite boutique. I don’t care how much mac makeup they paste on her or how many my little ponies they make her stroke she still looks like the face of a pumpkin festival. We’ve all [...]

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Cheryl Cole: The pictures she won’t want you to see.

18.11.2011

Ever since Cheryl Cole’s American dreams were smothered by Simon Cowell’s manboobs Cheryl’s been trying (ever so hard) to remain relevant. She’s begged, she’s starved, she’s practically died in the streets showing no modesty and no shame in her desire to keep her shriveled up career at least standing still. For Cheryl, getting Rankin to [...]