Peter Andre

LEGALS: Katie Price v Peter Andre – Round Two.

by Mike D.W September 11, 2012

The clouds over Cyprus are making s this morning because the apple of the world’s eye, Peter Andre is getting his greasy ass sued in the High Courts of JUSTICE ! It’s true, The Daily Mirror are saying that whilst it’s over three years since Katie Price divorced Peter’s dim nuts she has none-the-less launched a [...]

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Peter Andre: Life’s A Mountain Of Chocolate.

by Mike D.W April 11, 2012

Pathetic Humans – Prepare to write down the recipe. You can’t fool me into thinking the pathetic result of someone getting a LOT of attention as a trophy husband, then not being able to accept his fall from glory is anything but laughable. There really is only one way to fall and that is my way. Give in and [...]

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Peter Andre To Engage The Oxford Union In Mass Debate Tomorrow Morning.

by Mike D.W January 30, 2012

I’m sure Peter Andre’s fantasies involves a male cheerleader, a policeman’s uniform and a Judy Garland soundtrack. Seriously, any man that wears a cardigan without a shirt? Well I’m sorry, but if your body doesn’t reject that mode of dress then you’re smiling like a doughnut every now and again. And today’s news from the orange [...]

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Things That Make You Go Hmmm…. Offered Without Comment.

by Mike D.W January 29, 2012

Christina Aguilera sings at Etta James’s funeral. ? and the words fail me. Kim Kardashian has a ‘my marriage is over moment’. Peter Andre’s pet pug. (On the right). I can totally see this.

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#Cangate: Lies without a face. Part Four.

by Mike D.W January 11, 2012

#Cangate Part Four: All the angels in heaven have called in sick today, because they’re devastated at the news brought to them by The Daily Mirror. Yes, The Mirror’s news bunny Clemmie Moody has brought the sad news that despite the nations hopes of a reconciliation between Katie Price and Peter Andre their orange love is looking [...]

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Things You Need To Know about Peter’s genitals and Katie Price today.

by Mike D.W December 21, 2011

After putting his marriage to Katie Price under a guillotine and beheaded it Peter Andre then took a vow of celibacy to allow his genitals time to cool down. The following year he was named the “Daddies Sauce Daddy of the Year.” I know, but ever since then Peter has kept his genitals to himself. I find [...]

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Peter Andre: The orange man returns.

by Mike D.W November 24, 2011

When Katie Price decided to clean herself up and stop being such a skank she took her marriage to Peter Andre put it under a guillotine and quickly beheaded it. Since then I’ve lost track of who’s sticking their tongue in Peter’s ass or if he’s still true to that vow of celibacy. My guess is that Peter [...]

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#CANGATE: Lies without a face part three.

by Mike D.W November 16, 2011

Just look at what’s lit the air over at The Daily Mail today. Thank God Peter Andre is a truth machine wrapped in orange wax because if he were lying when he said he’s not getting £15k a month from ex wife Katie Price then we could decorate the top of his head with today’s theme of [...]

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Katie Price refuses to work with Peter Andre, did she ever?

by Mike D.W November 8, 2011

Katie Price doesn’t make any sense to me, and everything to do with her makes my b-hole frown. I don’t know why but when I look at this woman it causes my eyeballs to grow warts. As for Peter Andre well, learning how to operate a brain takes a little time I guess. It may [...]

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Kristina Macmillan – Pictures Peter Andre doesn’t want you to see.

by Mike D.W September 28, 2011

Grab your eye lids and pull them down because this is what the newspapers and Peter Andre don’t want you to see. Yes, I’m sure this is the same Kristina Macmillian that’s giving Peter Andre an open all hours pass to her forbiddens, albeit old horse blanket springs to mind. Yes, when Kristina shakes she shines [...]

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#CANGATE: Lies without a face – part two.

by Mike D.W August 12, 2011

If someone said one of my ex wives was paying me £15k a month I’d call them a liar and a fool. Who does that in this day and age? Which brings me onto #Cangate, Lies without a face – part two. My initial reaction to this char-grilled turnover of bitch baiting over at the [...]

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Peter Andre: A fine Fauxmance.

by Mike D.W April 5, 2011

When Banksie said “A lot of people never use their initiative because no-one told them to” Peter Andre was still posing for his ‘image of a living god’ painting so what would he need with initiative when Claire Powell heads up his image whoring. However, Claire’s lips must have stretched tighter than a fishes bottom [...]

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Peter Andre, promise me you’ll sit on a penis fly trap.

by Mike D.W February 16, 2011

Peter Andre may think he’s every girls sausage supper but last night he wandered around the Brits behaving more like a jewish dick docker than the shag slab he thinks he is. What fart catching fool at ITV thought that giving a mind numbingly boring Peter a microfone was an end of year bonus winner? [...]

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