simon Cowell

Yeah Right: Simon Cowell Quits Smoking. Again!

by Mike D.W April 23, 2013

The Mirror are saying that Simon Cowell is all done with chewing on a Nicorette pacifier and over with scratching at his nicotine patch, because he’s just kicked his 40-a-day smoking habit in favour of a vaping habit! Yes, Amanda Holden has told the paper that Simon needs to be kept away from the hot fags [...]

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Simon Cowell On Gay.

by Mike D.W April 9, 2013

People to discuss while sitting in front of a pink bouquet of flowers. Yes, that’s right. Simon Cowell. Simon has been talking to The Radio Times. He’s been telling them all about Cheryl Cole and how he thinks she’s the most beautiful petal on Planet Syco. My bottom had a little frown when he let that cat [...]

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Simon Cowell: WTF Factor.

by Mike D.W March 14, 2013

Simon Cowell seems pretty smug for a guy who looks like he sleeps in a pile of dirty laundry every night. Yesterday he attended the gala performance of The Book Of Mormon in aid of Red Nose Day at the Prince Of Wales Theatre in London looking like this. So what is Simon going to [...]

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Tulisa: You’re Fired!

by Mike D.W February 22, 2013

Simon Cowell’s hand has been busy slapping Tulisa Contostavlos up down and OFF the X Factor today. The Daily Mail says that ITV has called the studio where the show is filmed and told staff to sanitise the seat where the N-Dubz singer once sat because she is never coming back into the building again. A source told [...]

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Simon Cowell’s Face: Say Something Nice.

by Mike D.W February 17, 2013

Here’s Simon Cowell pictured leaving The Arts Club in Mayfair on Friday night. I’m sure I can use this space to talk about him joining Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh to discuss saving The X Factor from extinction, but let’s talk about more important things: LIKE SIMON’S FACE! We should all put down our brollies of [...]

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Oh Paula…. Fame At Last.

by Mike D.W January 2, 2013

Most women who have bumped parts with Simon Cowell pray every night that nobody in Fleet Street will ever find out, but the once beautiful and glamorous Paula Hamilton isn’t like most women. Paula, who is best known around these parts for her battles with booze-n-coke, isn’t happy that her name appeared nowhere in Sweet Revenge, [...]

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My Favourite Celebrity Picture Of 2012: Simon Cowell Looking Drunk.

by Mike D.W December 28, 2012

Who hasn’t passed out in a cab after downing a bottle or two? We all have, I’ve practically made a career out of doing it. Seriously, the inland revenue probably still write “drunk” in the occupation box on my tax returns. This is why this shot of Simon Cowell looking drunker than a thousand Apaches is [...]

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Simon Cowell and Carmen Electra Are Touching Tongues Together.

by Mike D.W December 20, 2012

Carmen Electra can push out her chest as much as she likes, but it’ll never come close to being as natural as the extra large moobs on Simon Cowell’s chest. Anyway, ahead of any Carmen and Simon breast-off, the mailonline are saying that the pair are now officially touching tongues together. Carmen usually gets with guys who [...]

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Botox Disasters: Introducing Simon Blobfish.

by Dolly Molly December 14, 2012

This is what eventually happens when plastic surgery (including pecker implants) melts and heads south. It’s all fun and games until that extra shot of Botox makes your face look like a Blobfish who just swallowed it’s own bottom. Seen here with Carmen Electra on Wednesday night Simon Cowell showed up to the US X Factor sporting a [...]

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Legals: Cole v Cowell.

by Mike D.W December 9, 2012

According to the Sun on Sunday Cheryl Cole is continuing to milk her disastrous affair with Simon Cowell’s American X Factor for every penny she can get. You’ll remember how Simon sent his producer (Richard Holloway) to sack Cheryl after she had filmed just two live auditions in Los Angeles and Chicago. Well, Cheryl has slipped [...]

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X Factor: War Of The iChavs.

by Mike D.W November 30, 2012

Will Simon Cowell ever stop patting his hairy chest while giggling over how much attention he’s getting. This morning all the tabloids are saying that Simon is so desperate to save his X Factor mess he’s now trying to toss millions of pound coins into Cheryl Cole’s paypal account in the hope that she’ll eventually agree to [...]

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Freakazoid! This Is How It Ends….

by Mike D.W October 30, 2012

In the Satanic Bible, Leviathan is listed as one of the Four Crown Princes of Hell. When Simon Cowell hears ”It’s a NO from Leviathan” and the gates of hell are slammed in his face he’ll know that his earth face just didn’t match the dead heart in his chest. Seen here on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno [...]

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