simon Cowell

X Factor – Britney Agrees $15m Contract For One More Mime.

by Mike D. Wheeler April 12, 2012
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Simon Cowell’s dream of decorating an empty judge’s chair with a trailer park flower has just come true. Britney Spears, pure talent, magnetic being and world famous lip-syncer has signed a $15m contract to judge his American X Factor. Oddly enough contract negotiations weren’t derailed by Britney insisting she judges contestants while sitting in a trash can full of yellow spongy junk [...]

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Oh Tulisa! Gets A Huge ‘Rise’ Out Of Her X Factor.

by Mike D. Wheeler April 6, 2012
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Don’t let me forget to mention that the Daily Mail has got to be taking kick backs from the Kardashians. They’ve run 3 stories on them so far today! (Rant over, moving on.) Now, lets try and pretend that the Tulisa Contostavlos sex tape didn’t happen. Simon Cowell expects to see this years X-Factor ratings rise to the [...]

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Meet Leanne, Simon Cowell’s “Break-In” Girl

by Mike D. Wheeler April 1, 2012
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Not all stalkers are crazy. Case in point, me. I always stalk someone before I get to know them. You know, google them, stake out their house, their job, get their Starbucks cups from the garbage. No biggie. You just have to know that in they end, they really love you too. Nowadays you’re just not cool [...]

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Say Hello To Francesca Neill, Simon Cowell’s New Love Interest.

by Mike D. Wheeler March 28, 2012
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I am ecstatic to welcome a new beautiful healthy and happy lady to our hit list. So please say hello to Francesca Neill who, according to reports, is Simon Cowell’s latest love interest. Am I the only one that thinks Francesca looks a bit like ex-fiancée Mezhgan Hussainy only slightly less Batwoman-ish? All the tabloids seem to think she [...]

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Cowell Break-In.

by Mike D. Wheeler March 25, 2012
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Part of me thinks the trick of getting drunk is getting more attention. We all know people like this. Fools that gargle with Listerine and then say, “Ooooh, I’m buzzing!” Or they take a few sips of Pinot and start doing some “out of control” jig around the dining room table. The fact that some women walk [...]

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Simon Says, Tulisa Has The X Factor !

by Mike D. Wheeler March 23, 2012
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Back to the sex tape. Tulisa Contostavlos has been sweating over her job at X Factor like a fat girl writing her first love letter. Now Simon Cowell has saint sprinkled some words of wisdom over Tulisa by telling her to stop worrying about a reputation gone down and to get ahead of the shade. (Oh how it [...]

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David And Gayliath.

by Mike D. Wheeler March 22, 2012
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Calling all members of the We Hate Simon Cowell Facebook group. You can never be more turned on as you are now. Yes, join me up and help make this season’s Big Gay Times even gayer! When fellow BGT judges David Walliams and Simon Cowell sat down to shoot Saturday’s Jonathan Ross show David must have been pretty sure Simon [...]

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