TOWIE

Thumbnail image for Towie: The Usual Suspects In Bikinis.

Towie: The Usual Suspects In Bikinis.

June 17, 2014 Celebrity

I’m going to go ahead and guess that none of these Towie girls have a proper job. Not even a proper fake job like blogging. I’m also going to guess that this means their boyfriends are paying the rent. And where do Towie girls learn to pose like this? I can barely conjure up a simple smile […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Gays Get Naked.

Gays Get Naked.

June 13, 2014 Celebrity

Towie stars Harry Derbidge and his partner Bobby Norris have had zero success getting the gay community to roll with them or their peens. So, earlier this week in an attempt to show Attitude magazine who the power bottoms really are the pair took to parading their beautiful ladyboy asses around a beach in Marbella But we’re missing the point here: Flexing […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Mario ‘Falcoke’ Gets Suspended.

Mario ‘Falcoke’ Gets Suspended.

June 9, 2014 Celebrity

I guess if you have to be implicated in a scandal then it might as well be a cocaine scandal so at least TOWIE star, MARIO FALCONE has that going for him. At the end of last week Mario found his name in the middle of a tabloid scandal after video footage of him allegedly taking […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Frankie Essex: This Wrote Itself.

Frankie Essex: This Wrote Itself.

April 10, 2013 Celebrity

Frankie Essex has always seemed like a hot chick who has a thing about looking like the slutty girlfriend in your dreams.  I surmise that some women get off knowing that. Frankie can go out dressed like a drag act from Pretty Woman and know that every man still wants a piece of her. There’s […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for TOWIE LIVE: The Muppets Are Back!

TOWIE LIVE: The Muppets Are Back!

December 4, 2012 Celebrity

I may never forgive myself for allowing Catch Up TV to suck up an hour of my life with the chaos that was a live episode of TOWIE last night. The country has now sunk so far into the abyss, that by tomorrow morning tabloid headlines will be screaming “KATIE PRICE BUYS ESSEX” while the last […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Fake Of The Day.

Fake Of The Day.

October 28, 2012 Celebrity

In case you haven’t looked out of your window yet, the streets of Essex are filled with health professionals in white coats chasing down any Towie fans who are calling James ‘Diags’ Bennewith a fake tramp skank lover. Oh ‘Diags’, you nasty wet humping man-slut. You just couldn’t resist the allure of a dizzy skankadellic who […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Lauren Goodger: The Road To Nowhere.

Lauren Goodger: The Road To Nowhere.

August 22, 2012 Celebrity

That humming sound you heard this morning was the Twittersphere breathing a sigh of relief after it learned that Towie’s Lauren Goodger is taking time out from her busy schedule of doing nothing for Towie on ITV2 to join Dancing on Ice on BBC1. And that’s the good news. The bad news is that come […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for TOWIE: Up Your Game Or Get The Boot.

TOWIE: Up Your Game Or Get The Boot.

August 14, 2012 Celebrity

ITV2 put out a statement last night (via a Sun insider) about how they’re really concerned that TOWIE’s pristine image of refinement and class has been dirtied up by the sight of tan-bed roasted tortoises like Lauren Goodger, Gemma Collins and Joey Essex. According to the insider The Only Way Is Essex will be running next year […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for TOWIE: Joey Essex, Offered Without Comment.

TOWIE: Joey Essex, Offered Without Comment.

August 2, 2012 Celebrity

That headline isn’t exactly right because here’s my first comment. I’m pretty sure both Joey Essex and that member of the Towie production crew he’s got his arms round were inhaling god’s gift to the world behind a bush just before this picture was taken. Here’s my next comment. I’m pretty sure if you took […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Towie’s Lydia Bright Goes Without No Make Up For 7 Days.

Towie’s Lydia Bright Goes Without No Make Up For 7 Days.

July 17, 2012 Celebrity

It’s all very well for Towie’s Lydia Bright, but if like the rest of us one isn’t blessed with naturally radiant skin then venturing out in public with a face caked in make-up is a pure survival instinct. However, to show us all what perfection is like The Only Way Is Essex star shed all of her make-up […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Chloe Sims: Twitter Troll Threatened To Rape My Daughter.

Chloe Sims: Twitter Troll Threatened To Rape My Daughter.

July 15, 2012 Celebrity

I don’t know if @scottyadams1991′s ass lips start to boil whenever he thinks about Chloe Sims but let’s all laugh at him as we stroke the happy scars we got from elbowing the last Twit-Twat in the mouth who got in our face with a shovelful of angry midget tweets. After reading the tweet below Chloe got onto […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Joey Essex Was Robbed.

Joey Essex Was Robbed.

June 27, 2012 Celebrity

Joey Essex may be a glistening swizzle stick of crazy from the suburbs but when he got robbed in London town yesterday he probably didn’t put up too much of a fight because reality stars aren’t about to tussle for free. The thieving went down in Hammersmith when two muggers posing as Towie fans stopped Joey in […]

Keep reading
Thumbnail image for Lauren And The Cyber-Bullies.

Lauren And The Cyber-Bullies.

June 18, 2012 Celebrity

Whether you’re a 5-year-old, a 10-year-old, a 30-year-old or a leather duffel bag filled with crazy, being bullied is never okay. Lauren Goodger, who collects a cheque for bullying our eye balls (by forcing them to stare at Towie) is on a bully-busting campaign with the Sun Newspaper. Yes The Sun have given Lauren her own ‘bully-pulpit’ […]

Keep reading